Fallout Undertale
by Mercury Freelancer
Summary: Fallout and Undertale. Two legendary RPGs that have defined generations and have tested the morality of toughs who played them. But what happens when the original hero of Fallout, the banished Vault Dweller, meets the desperate world of Undertale? Will diplomacy be his weapon of choice or will he let bullets do the talking? Find out in Fallout Undertale.
1. Prologue and Chapter 1: Prewar Ruins

Fallout Undertale

Prologue and Chapter 1: Prewar Ruins

(SPOILER WARNING: This story DOES contain Undertale Spoilers and Fallout Spoilers)

[Something to remember: In Undertale the characters speak with an asterisk * next to their dialog but in this story asterisks will be used to describe their actions. Their dialog will be between parenthesis "" like in Fallout.]

War. War never changes. A long time ago, two races ruled over the Earth: Humans and Monsters. One day, war broke out between the two. It was a one sided war. The humans had killed almost every monster on Earth, leaving only a handful alive. The remaining monsters retreated underground. The humans accepted this retreat as a victory and sealed the monsters underground with a magical barrier. Hundreds of years have passed and without a common enemy humans have turned on each other, fighting wars over resources and ideologies with each war seeing the conflict get bigger and bigger. Eventually, humanity's destructive nature got so big that it finally lead to the end of the world by nuclear Armageddon. But the apocalypse was not the end of the human race. A few survived the holocaust by surviving in underground shelters known as Vaults. Eventually humans returned to the surface and began to recolonize. Most concerned themselves with survival and rebuilding civilization but some valued exploration, wondering from place to place looking for places to explore, items to find and people to meet. Some of them would even explore dangerous places just for the thrill and experience. One of the most feared places of the wastelands was a place known as Mount Ebott. Legend says that those who go there never return. This is the story of a legendary man who had saved the world but was denied happiness and now had nothing to lose. This, is Fallout Undertale.

The Vault Dweller awakes on a bed of golden flowers with a light shining from above. He looks around and follows a hallway that enters another room where light is shining on a single flower.

?: "Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!"

Vault Dweller: *options for what he should say next pop up in front of him and he picks the second one* (Side note: Whenever the Vault Dweller is taking with someone and responds, just imagine that this happens like in Fallout 1 so I don't have to right *the options appear* every time. I'm just establishing that's how he speaks to others in this world like in the games) "You know, I really shouldn't be surprised by this. You wouldn't imagine the stuff I've seen, like this one time-"

Flowey: *Flowey cuts him off* "Uhhh, yeah." *Silence for a second* Sooo you're new here, eh?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, I fell down a hole over there."

Flowey: "Well good you survived. Welcome to the underground! Is safe down here but be warned, this place is filled with monsters! Don't worry though, I'll be your new best friend and help you survive!"

The classic Undertale sound of beginning an encounter mixed with the V.A.T.S sound from Fallout plays. The room suddenly turns black and Flowey and the Vault Dweller turn white. A small red hear appears in front of the Vault Dweller and a white box appears around him.

Vault Dweller: *the Vault Dweller looks around contemplating just what the heck is going on when he notices a red heart floating in front of him* What's this heart thing in front of me?

Flowey: "That is your soul. It is the very essence of your entire being." *Flowey looks down and sees the Vault Dwellers LV is very high* "Well, well, well, looks like you have plenty of LV human, but do you know what that means?"

Vault Dweller: "Level?"

Flowey: No silly! It means LOVE! With more LOVE you grow stronger! You seem to already have a lot of it, but here in the underground we have different ways of gaining LOVE. *Flowey winks making a little sparkle or pellet appear* In this world, we share our LOVE with little white 'Friendliness Pellets" which will give you EXP to earn more LOVE. The more you grab, the stronger you get! Make sure to grab as many as you can."

The Friendliness Pellets begin moving towards the Vault Dweller, but he moves out of the way.

Flowey: "…" *Flowey's expression changes to a slightly disappointed yet still smiling look* "Hey buddy, you're supposed to grab them, not avoid them like the plague. Let's try that again."

More Friendliness Pellets begin moving towards the Vault Dweller but he moves out of the way again, causing Flowey's expression to turn angry.

Flowey: "Are you fucking retarded? Run. Into. The. Bullets Friendliness Pellets!"

Despite the threat and more Bullets Friendliness Pellets coming towards him, the Vault Dweller moves out of the way again. Flowey's expression changes to a very sinister look that can't really be described and his voice turns demented.

Flowey: "You know what's going on here, don't you? I should have expected someone with so much LV to not be fooled so easily. I'm sure you already know this, but just like the world you came from, it's kill or be killed.

The white box around the Vault Dweller suddenly gets so small that he cannot move and he is surrounded by a ring of bullets.

Flowey: "DIE!"

The bullet ring begins to close in on the Vault Dweller as Flowey laughs maniacally. Just as the Vault Dweller begins to accept his fate as the bullets draw their closest, they suddenly disappear and the Vault Dweller heels as if his former injuries have just faded away.

Flowey: "...what?"

Suddenly, a fireball appears beside Flowey and hits him, causing him to fly off screen as he lets out a little demented "ow".

?: "Oh my, what a horrible creature, tormenting an innocent visitor."

A woman appears in front of the Vault Dweller, but she is not human. Though she stands on two legs she has the head, hands and feet of a goat with white fur but has very a very humanoid structure and is dressed in a robe of some sort with a strange symbol on it.

?: "Pleased to meet you. I am TORIEL, caretaker of the RUINS. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. I will guide you through the catacombs."

The box around the Vault Dweller disappears and his soul returns to his body. The room as well as the Vault Dweller himself and Toriel regain color.

Vault Dweller: "Thank you for saving me. Another moment and I would be dead."

Toriel: "You're welcome! You are very polite. Please follow me, I have much to show you."

The Vault Dweller follows Toriel into ruins. The walls are purple with some vines on them and red leaves are scattered across the ground. A strange shimmering golden light catches the Vault Dweller's eye and he proceeds to investigate it while Toriel proceeds up the stairs into the next room. The Vault Dweller touches the light.

(The shadows of the ruins looms above, filling you with determination.) (HP fully restored) [A save screen similar to the Fallout game appears but this one only has one save slot. The Vault Dweller saves his progress.]

Toriel: "Welcome your new home, weary traveler. Allow me to educate you in the operation of the RUINS." *Toriel proceeds to walk on some buttons to her left but leaves two un-pushed then pulls a lever that opens a door to another room* "The RUINS are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them." *Toriel leaves the room*

The Vault Dweller sees something written on a stone in the wall. It reads "Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road." The Vault Dweller then proceeds to the next room where Toriel is waiting for him.

Toriel: "To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry, I have labelled the ones you need to flip." *She walks to the other side of the room*

The Vault Dweller gets distracted by another stone sign in the wall and reads it only to find a demoralizing slap across his explorative nature by saying "Stay on the path." As the Vault Dweller returns to the path like a good playable character should, he crosses a small bridge to where Toriel is to finds a switch labeled with so many arrows and a note to its side telling him that this is the lever he is supposed to pull, that even if the Vault Dweller took out all of his intelligence points, got high AND drunk effectively putting him not so very far from the point of being braindead he could not miss it. He pulls it. Toriel and the Vault Dweller cross another small bridge to find another idiot proof switch. There is another switch that is not labeled but not wanting to look like he just got high of jet and fucked every whore in the entire wasteland only to stumble back to Vault 13 with his pip-boy stolen and his vault suit unzipped to find out that not only did he forget to retrieve a water chip but that someone else already found one, he pulls the labeled switch retracting the spikes blocking their path and proceeds as Toriel congratulates the Vault Dweller for accomplishing the most basic of RPG tasks. They proceed to the next room. In the room there is what looks to be a training dummy.

Toriel: "As a human living in the UNDERGROUND, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a FIGHT."

Vault Dweller: "I have been in many fights but nothing like the one with that flower. Is all form of combat like that here?"

Toriel: "Indeed. That is why we are here now. To survive a FIGHT, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict."

Vault Dweller: "The reason why I couldn't defeat Flowey was because he trapped me. I know how to fight and now that I can move around again why don't I just punch them or hit them with a stick or something?"

Toriel: "The flower was an unusual. Most monsters are kindhearted by nature and will not attack you but the ones that do are not murderers. Humans are much stronger than us monsters and those that do attack do so only out of fear. If you can prove to them that you mean no harm, they will back down and may even thank you with gifts. So here, practice with this dummy."

The Vault Dweller walks up to the dummy and the FIGHT is initiated. Four new options appear below the text screen: FIGHT ACT ITEM and MERCY. His soul seems to act as a computer mouse to interact with the options. The Vault Dweller moves his soul towards the FIGHT option but suddenly stops. He remembers his old life in the Vault and in the wasteland, and he remembers all the fights he has been in and all the people he killed. From raiders to super mutants, seeing their bodies torn apart into guts and blood by his own hand and weapons. It's never bothered him before, and that's the problem. The Vault Dweller never killed when he was in Vault 13. He was a kind soul. Just another face in the crowd. Then he stepped outside into the wastelands, and became a murderer without a second thought. Even though most were in self-defense he never tried to talk or reason with his attackers and he always could have just ran away… but he just drew his weapons and killed. He also remembers the times he broke and killed defenseless people, the biggest being when he killed his former overseer for banishing him from Vault 13. That's when he realized he couldn't live with anymore blood on his hands. He moved his soul away from the FIGHT option to the ACT option. He selects it, selects *Dummy then *Talk. He talks to the Dummy but it doesn't seem much for conversation. Toriel seems happy with the Vault Dweller. A message appears on his pip-boy saying "YOU WON! You earned 0 XP and 0 gold."

Toriel: "Ah, very good! You are very good." *Toriel walks into the next room*

The Vault Dweller pauses for a minute. Refusing to fight, hearing Toriel's praise and his pip-boy congratulating him for a bloodless victory.

Vault Dweller: "…" *'New Game' perk gained* *The Vault Dweller feels something warm inside his heart* *He proceeds to the next room*

Toriel: "There is another puzzle in this room… I wonder if you can solve it."

Toriel and the Vault Dweller walk down another corridor when suddenly a FIGHT is initiated. Froggit attacks you! The Vault Dweller selects ACT and then selects *Compliment.

Vault Dweller: "You look nice."

Froggit didn't understand what you said, but was flattered anyway. Toriel appears on the right side of the screen with a pissed off mother look staring right at Froggit. Froggit sees this and slowly moves away. YOU WON! You erned 0 XP and 0 gold. Toriel and the Vault Dweller continue walking when the Vault Dweller once again gets distracted by a dang rock sign on the wall. This one reads "The western room is the eastern room's blueprint." He continues to follow Toriel. The two come to a bridge of spikes surrounded by a small pond of water.

Toriel: "This is the puzzle, but… Here, take my hand for a moment." *She extends her hand*

The Vault Dweller holds Toriel's. For a brief moment, the Vault Dweller feels an unusual sense of safety and happiness as if he was back in Vault 13 with his family. The two walk over some of the spikes but they retract, making safe to walk over. Toriel leads the Vault Dweller by the hand in a pattern motion over the bridge with the spike retracting as they walk over. The both make it over the bridge unharmed. On the other side Toriel and the Vault Dweller attempt to let go of each other's hands but they stay held for a brief moment. After the moment passes the two blush and quickly let go of each other's hands in embarrassment, though they both smile quietly.

Toriel: "Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now." *Toriel and the Vault Dweller procced to the next room* "You have done excellently thus far, my child. However… I have a difficult request to ask of you. … I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself. Forgive me for this." *Toriel runs off*

The Vault Dweller enters an unusual state of unease, as if he was a child lost in the bowels of Vault 13 who lost his mother. He runs as fast as he can to the other end of the room, breathing in and out quickly. The room seemed to go on for a while and the Vault Dweller begins to panic but soon makes it to the end of the room. The only thing he sees is a marble column flanked by some vines. The Vault Dweller looks around franticly for a sec, then Toriel appears from behind the column.

Toriel: "Greetings, my child. Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me. However, there was an important reason for this exercise. To test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It's dangerous to explore by yourself. I have an idea. I will give you a CELL PHONE. If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?" *Toriel leaves*

The Vault Dweller holds the phone and stands in silence for a few minutes thinking to himself.

Vault Dweller: (Why did I get so scared? It's not like I haven't explored much more dangerous ruins in the past. Was I really scared? Maybe I just felt… lonely… alone…) *The Vault Dweller looks at the phone Toriel and turns it on. He decides to call Toriel. The phone dial tone plays a few times then Toriel answers*

Toriel: This is TORIEL.

Vault Dweller: "Hello?"

Toriel: "You only wanted to say hello…? Well then. 'Hello!' I hope that suffices. Hee hee." *click*

The Vault Dweller appreciated the call but felt like he should have said more, so he calls Toriel back.

Toriel: "This is TORIEL."

Vault Dweller: "Hi Toriel, I wanted to get to know you a little more."

Toriel: "You want to know more about me? Well, I am afraid there is not much to say. I am just a silly little lady who worries too much." *click*

The Vault Dweller feels a little sad hearing that. He calls again.

Toriel: "This is TORIEL."

Vault Dweller: "… Mom."

Toriel: "Huh? Did you just call me… "Mom"? Well… I suppose… Would that make you happy? To call me… "Mother?"

Vault Dweller: "…Yes."

Toriel: "Well then, call me whatever you like!" *click*

Toriel sounded happy with that last call and the Vault Dweller felt like he made the right choice calling her so many times. So he calls again with a little more devious intentions.

Vault Dweller: "Hey good lookin', what's cookin?"

Toriel: "… huh? Oh, heh.. heh… Ha ha ha! How adorable… I could pinch your cheek! You can certainly find better than an old woman like me." *click*

The Vault Dweller calls again.

Vault Dweller: "Baby, who cares about the sun? I'm the only light you need."

Toriel: "Oh dear, are you serious…? And after you said you want to call me "mother…" You are an… "Interesting" man." *click*

The Vault Dweller snickers with sick enjoyment when suddenly a cake pan falls on his head. After recovering from mild brain trauma he waits for few minutes as Toriel instructed but quickly gets bored and decides to proceed to the next room. This time, Toriel calls the Vault Dweller.

Toriel: "Hello? This is TORIEL. You have not left the room, have you? There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try to solve them yourself."

Vault Dweller: "Lie Don't worry, I'm right where you left me."

Toriel: "Excelent! Be good, alright?" *click*

The Vault Dweller feels bad for lying but he knows that the story wouldn't progress unless he left the room. He notices another golden light which he has named "Save Points" on a bed of red leaves. He touches it. (Playfully crinkling through the leaves fills you with you with determination.) (HP fully restored.) The Vault Dweller overrides his previous save. He also notices a Froggit in the room that has not attacked him and decides to talk to it.

Froggit: "Ribbit, ribbit. (Excuse me, human. I have some advice for you about battling monsters. If you ACT a certain way or FIGHT until you almost defeat them… They might not want to battle you anymore. If a monster does not want to fight you, please… Use some MERCY, human.) Ribbit."

Vault Dweller: "Ok, I shall exercise MERCY."

Froggit: "Ribbit. (Thank you.)"

The Vault Dweller enters another room with only a jar of candy on a pedestal with a sign saying 'take one.' He takes one and… then another. How disgusting. Oh look, he took another one. Well doesn't someone feel like the scum of the earth. Because of his greed the candy ends up spilling onto the floor. Look at what you've done. The Vault Dweller leaves gaining the perk "Taking Candy from a Baby" to forever remind him of the heinous act of greed he has committed this day. And with that the Vault Dweller continues on encountering a weak willed monster that ran away almost as soon as he started the fight and falling down a hole only to climb back up. Suddenly, he gets a call from Toriel.

Toriel: "Hello? This is Toriel. For no reason in particular… Which do you prefer? Cinnamon or butterscotch?"

Vault Dweller: "hmm… Butterscotch. Kept my lips from being chapped out in the wastelands."

Toriel: "Oh, I see. Thank you very much!" *click* *the Vault Dweller walks two steps* *ring, ring* Hello? This is TORIEL. You do not DISLIKE cinnamon, do you? I know what your preference is, but… Would you turn up your nose if you found it on your plate?"

Vault Dweller: "It's not so much the taste as it is the dehydrating properties it has. If there is a glass of water nearby I would more than happily eat it."

Toriel: "I understand. Thank you for being patient, by the way." *click*

The Vault Dweller proceeds onwards with a few encounters with two other monsters he consoled and danced with, a few more pitfall puzzles and a somewhat rude rock. After that he then makes it to another room with a save point in it. The room also had a mouse hole and some cheese on a table in it. The Vault Dweller touches the save point. (Knowing the mouse might one day leave its hole and get the cheese… It fills you with determination) (you know the rest). After saving the Vault Dweller enters the next room and encounters a ghost lying on some leaves and blocking his path.

Ghost: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… (are they gone yet) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

The ghost keeps saying 'z' out loud repeatedly, pretending to sleep. Move it with force?

Vault Dweller: "Hold on, let me handle this." *the Vault Dweller clears his throat* "Excuse me, Mr. Ghost."

Ghost: "…."

Vault Dweller: "Hey buddy?"

Ghost: "…"

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 100/100] They say ghosts are nothing but lost souls, so it's very important that you talk to me so you don't fade away."

Ghost: "…i…i am not important…best that i just fade away."

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 75/75] If you weren't important I wouldn't be talking to you."

Ghost: "…ok."

The ghost gets up and looks at the Vault Dweller. He states at the Vault Dweller until the Vault Dweller says something to reengage the conversation.

Vault Dweller: "What is your name, kind spirit?"

Ghost: "…napstablook…" *Napstablook looks down* "…i like your outfit…"

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 50/50] Thank you. I know you're a ghost, but do you have any clothes?"

Napstablook: "o-of course… watch this." *Napstablook cries and his tears form a hat on the ghosts head* "i call it "dapper blook. do you like it?"

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 25/25] It makes you look very handsome."

Napstablook: "oh no…" *Napstablook's hat fades away and he seems to blush* "i ususally come to the RUINS because there's nobody around… but today i met somebody nice… oh, i'm rabbling again. i'll get out of your way. *Napstablook fades away*

Vault Dweller: "Poor guy… I hope he found peace."

The Vault Dweller continues to another room with a sign and two spider webs in it. The sign reads "Spider Bake Sale. All proceeds go to real spiders." Out of curiosity the Vault Dweller leaves 18 bottle caps in the bigger of the two webs. A spider climbs down and pours 'Spider Cider' into the Vault Dweller's water flask. Greatly confused by this, the Vault Dweller takes a swig. It's actually pretty tasty. He decides to saves some for later. The Vault Dweller then proceeds on to the next room where he finds three(?) Froggits. The first one talks about how people often skip his dialog and complains that I am merely summarizing it and not writing the full dialog. The second one breaks the fourth wall wondering what pushing F4 and 'Fullscreen' mean. The last one says something interesting.

Froggit: "Ribbit, ribbit. (I have heard you are quite merciful, for a human with such a violent past… Surely you know by now a monster wears a YELLOW name when you can SPARE it. What do you think of that?)"

Vault Dweller: "That is very helpful. Thank you."

Froggit: "(It is rather helpful. Remember, sparing is just saying you won't fight. Maybe one day, you'll have to do it even if their name isn't yellow.)"

Vault Dweller: "And maybe, you'll think of me, when you're all alone."

Froggit: "(…what?)"

Vault Dweller: "Nothing." [Done]

As the Vault Dweller walks off to the next room, his phone rings.

Toriel: "Hello? I just realized that it has been a while since I have cleaned up. I was not expecting to have company so soon. There are probably a lot of things lying about here and there. You can pick them up, but do not carry more than you need. Someday you might see something you really like. You will want to leave room in your pockets for that." *click*

Vault Dweller: "Ain't that the truth…"

The Vault Dweller continues into another pitfall room with a switch and then into another room involving a switch puzzle and pillars. He manages to solve the puzzles and makes it to the end of the RUINS. He walks to the far right where he finds a Froggit.

Froggit: "Ribbit, ribbit. (Just between you and me… I saw TORIEL come out of here just a little while ago. She was carrying some groceries. I didn't ask what they were for… We're all too intimidated to talk to her.) Ribbit."

The Vault Dweller proceeds to the room next to the Froggit. The room is actually a balcony looking over a ruined city. Despite the name, this city looks much better than the prewar cities ones the surface. The Vault Dweller gazes in awe at the peaceful silent beauty of the ruins. No gunshots. No explosions. Ne screaming. Just silence. Then he notices something lying on the ground to his left. It's a spear. The Vault Dweller picks it up and examines it. The shaft is long and made of wood (shut up) and the tip is made of metal. Upon further inspection, the tip seems to be manufactured from scrap metal with something engraved in it. "ND GECK". The Vault Dweller was puzzled by this. He decides to take the spear with him and stores it in his pip-boy. The Vault Dweller proceeds to a room with a black tree with its base surrounded by leaves. Then, they hear a familiar voice.

Toriel: "Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would." *Toriel walks on screen, stands next to the black tree and uses her phone. The Vault Dweller's phone rings and Toriel notices him standing right in front of her. "How did you get here, my child? Are you hurt? There, there, I will heal you. I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible to try to surprise you like this. Err… Well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, small one!" *Toriel walks to a house in the back of the room.*

The Vault Dweller follows and notices another save point in front of the house. He touches it. (Seeing such a cute and not destroyed house in the RUINS gives you determination.) (From now on I am just going to write what gives the Vault Dweller determination because I'm sure you know what comes after.) After saving, the Vault Dweller walks into the house. Toriel stands at the entrance ready to greet the Vault Dweller.

Toriel: "Do you smell that? Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie. I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here. So I will hold off on snail pie for tonight. Here, I have another surprise for you." *Toriel walks to the right hallway and the Vault Dweller follows* "This is it." *Toriel holds the Vault Dweller's hand and walks him to a door in the hallway* "A room of your own. I hope you like it!"

Toriel proceeds to pet the Vault Dweller on his head. The Vault Dweller begins to cry. It has been so long since he had felt this kind of affection. He wandered the wastelands for so long, feeling betrayal and anger, seeing people kill each other over the most trivial of maters when humanity was supposed to be coming together to survive the nuclear fallout and rebuild humanity. He forgot how to care. Toriel notices the Vault Dweller's tears and comforts him with a warm hug. The Vault Dweller hugs her back. The embrace lasts for only a few short moments, but to the Vault Dweller it feels like hours. Soon the tears stop and the Vault Dweller feels something that has was long lost to him. Happiness. He smiles.

Toriel: "Is something burning…? Um, make yourself at home!" *Toriel releases the Vault Dweller and runs off towards the kitchen*

The Vault Dweller wipes his cheeks and goes into the room. It's way bigger than his room was back in Vault 13. The walls are painted red and there is a small bed. At the foot of the bed is a box of cool toys! The don't interest the Vault Dweller at all. On the sides of the bed are two stuffed…toys and a cabinet that is filled with clothes of varying sizes. Beside it is a desk with an empty frame on it and a picture of a flower hanging on the wall. Looks like someone drew it. There is also a box filled with shoes of varying sizes. The Vault Dweller lies on the bed and just stares at the ceiling. Safe. Calm. Happy. The Vault Dweller drifts off to sleep. The Vault Dweller awakens with the covers of the bed over him. It has been a very long time since he has slept with covers on or with a pillow for that matter. It was the best sleep he ever had. He gets out of bed (still wearing his vault suit) and notices a slice of pie on the ground. He picks it up and takes a bite out of it. It's delicious. The Vault Dweller consumes about half of it but his time in the wastelands seems to have shrunken his stomach as he can only finish half of it. On the other hand, it is a pretty big slice. He saves the rest in his Pip-Boy. He walks out of his room and goes to the living room. Toriel is there sitting on a rocking chair and reading a book. There is a fire burning in a fireplace but it's not hot, rather lukewarm at best. Comfortable.

Toriel: "Oh, good morning my child! Did you have a nice nap?"

Vault Dweller: "It was the best nap I have had in months."

Toriel: "I'm glad to hear. I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I've also got a restoration project we can work on together. This may come as a surprise to you… But I have always wanted to be a teacher. I'm sure you have already obtained an education, but I hope we can learn from the projects together."

The Vault Dweller smiles and agrees. Toriel is elated. The two live together in peace. Toriel and the Vault Dweller spend their days hunting for bugs and studying them. The Vault Dweller has only seen giant bugs on the surface and was very surprised to see them so small. The two also spent time restoring items from the surface Toriel had found before meeting the Vault Dweller. Items like television sets, radios and even parts of a robobrain. In the evening, the two would cook all kinds of different food. Toriel taught the Vault Dweller how to make pie along with other snail based dishes and the Vault Dweller thought Toriel how to prepare instant noodles. At night the two would read books together until one of them fell asleep. Whoever was still awake had to carry the other to bed. It was usually the Vault Dweller who fell asleep first so Toriel decided to read to him after she tucks him into bed. In Vault 13 the Vault Dweller read prewar books about something called the 'American Dream' which described families living carefree and peaceful lives. To the Vault Dweller, his life with Toriel was the American Dream… at least, for a while. After about a week, the Vault Dweller began having nightmares. Though not clear, the nightmares contained visions of hearts in jars, a horned monster with a red trident, golden flowers, a child with glowing red eyes and a knife, a skeleton with a glowing blue eye and bombs dropping. The Vault Dweller would wake up either screaming or drenched in sweat. At first he tried to downplay the nightmares but they only got worse. After two weeks together, the Vault Dweller knew his journey was not over yet and he had to leave. One day in the living room…

Vault Dweller: "Toriel."

Toriel: "Yes my child, what can I do for you?"

Vault Dweller: *the locks eyes with Toriel* "Living with you has been the best time of my life. You are kind and nurturing and I feel so safe just being with you. You have given me a life I only dreamed of."

Toriel: *smiles warmly* "You have also been the best company I have had in a long time. Our time together reminded me of a time long gone. A time when I had a family. Ever since my family fell apart and I left my husband, I often wondered why I still remain, what purpose I served. But you have given me new purpose, my child. Thank you."

Vault Dweller: *he looks down, holding back tears in his eyes* "Toriel… how do I leave the ruins?"

Toriel: "…" *Toriel's smile fades, replaced by a frown* "…what?"

Vault Dweller: "I… I need to leave the ruins."

Toriel: "But, this is your home! Why would you want to leave it?"

Vault Dweller: "I have… been having horrible nightmares recently. Visions of flowers… a horned monster with a red spear and a child… with glowing red eyes."

Toriel: *Toriel's expression turns stern* "Stay here. I have to do something." *Toriel dashes off*

The Vault Dweller is caught off guard quickly regains his composure and chases after Toriel. He sees her go into the basement and follows her. He never really went into the basement. Toriel told the Vault Dweller that it was just an empty hallway with a dead end. When the Vault Dweller attempted to check it out a couple of times, Toriel would deter any further exploration by taking him by the hand and leading him back upstairs. But today was the day he would find out what lies at the end of the hallway. The Vault Dweller runs to the end of the hall chasing after Toriel. He reaches the end and is shocked at what he finds. He finds Toriel standing in front of a vault door. The door did not bear a number, however. Instead, it had the same symbol as the one on Toriel's robes. The winged circle with three triangles below it.

Toriel: *facing the door with her back to the Vault Dweller* "This is the doorway that leads to the rest of the underground. It is a one-way exit. I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again. Now be a good child, and go back upstairs."

Vault Dweller: "Why are you doing this? Why won't you let me leave?"

Toriel: "Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. The come. They leave. They die. You naive child… If you leave the RUINS… They… ASGORE… The horned monster you saw in your nightmares… Will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? ...go to your room."

Vault Dweller: "If he is a monster like you I can talk to him. You do not have to worry about me, I have dealt with greater threats."

Toriel: "The ones that came before you said similar things. They all felt they could survive down here as they did up there, but things are much different down here. The monsters that lie beyond this door are loyal to ASGORE and they are nothing like the mindless abominations on the surface you humans have told me about. They're smart and wield powers you cannot imagine and they will use those powers to kill you without a second thought."

Vault Dweller: "You told me before that most monsters are goodhearted people and now you're saying they will kill me on sight. What is really going on here, Toriel?"

Toriel: "The monsters have held a deep hatred for humans ever since they sealed us underground. For a time the hatred went away but after the death of the prince… my son… as well as problems concerning overpopulation and supply shortages, the hatred was revitalized and ASGORE created a plan for revenge. The plan is to collect seven human souls to break the barrier that keeps all the monsters trapped underground and take back the surface. He already has six. If he gets your soul, he will gain the powers of a god and what remains of humanity on the surface will parish by his hands."

Vault Dweller: "That must be what the nightmares were trying to tell me! This is why I must go Toriel, I need to stop ASGORE."

Toriel: *her voice deepens slightly* "heh, heh, heh… you stubborn child. ASGORE is the king of the monsters. He is the most powerful monster in the whole world. Every human who has faced him has died. You will be no different. That is why I cannot let you leave. I will not have another human life on my conscious. Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning."

Vault Dweller: "I'm not going to hurt you Toriel, but I need to get out of here."

Toriel: *her voice becomes annoyed* "You want to leave so badly? Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this. *Toriel shoots a fireball at the Vault Dweller but he dodges it* "Prove yourself." *Toriel faces the Vault Dweller* "Prove to me you are strong enough to survive."

The room fades to black and a FIGHT is initiated. Toriel blocks the way! The Vault Dweller moves to ACT.

Vault Dweller: "I will not fight you."

Toriel: "I don't want to hear it. Show me you can fight."

Toriel shoots a barrage of fireballs at the Vault Dweller but he evades all of them.

The Vault Dweller ACTS again.

Vault Dweller: "I will not kill!"

Toriel: "Silence! There is not choice in this matter! FIGHT me or die!"

Toriel lets out another barrage of fireballs. This time some manage to hit the Vault Dweller but he brushes them off only taking minor damage.

The Vault Dweller ACTS again.

Vault Dweller: "You have shown me that conflict can be resolved with words before they even begin! Toriel, have faith in what you have taught me."

Toriel: "If you leave, I will not be around to protect you. Words may only get you so far until your hand is forced…"

Toriel shoots more fireballs at the Vault Dweller, only this time they seem to have slowed down, making them easily avoidable.

The Vault Dweller ACTS again.

Vault Dweller: "These last few weeks have been the best of my life. Never before have I felt so safe. So nurtured. So loved."

Toriel: "…"

Toriel shoots more fireballs. She's not even aiming anymore.

Vault Dweller: "I love you, Toriel. I will not hurt you. Even if I die here, I will leave this world knowing what it is like to truly live. To feel real happiness and to know what it truly means to be alive. All because of you. Thank you, mom."

Toriel: "…"

Toriel looks down and unleashes final barrage of fireballs. None of them come close to hitting the Vault Dweller.

The Vault Dweller ACTS again.

Vault Dweller: "No more fighting, Toriel. No one has to die."

Toriel: "…heh. Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single human."

Vault Dweller: "That is not true. You have taught me something that no human on the surface could ever teach me. You taught me to be human again. That alone has saved me."

The Vault Dweller selects MERCY. Toriel is SPARED and the FIGHT is over.

Toriel: "…I understand. Staying here would do you not good. You are not a child. You are a beautiful young man. My expectations… My loneliness… My fear… For you, my young man, I will put them aside. If you truly wish to leave the RUINS… I will not stop you. However, when you leave, please do not come back. I hope you understand."

Vault Dweller: "I understand. Thank you."

Toriel hugs the Vault Dweller and he hugs back.

Toriel: "I love you."

Vault Dweller: "I love you too."

The hug lasts only a few short seconds… they both wish it could last longer.

Toriel: "Goodbye, my young man."

Toriel opens the vault door. The Vault Dweller walks through it and it closes behind him but just before it closes, he sees Toriel, crying. He sheds a single tear. He walks through a long corridor leading to the second door when he enters a dark room with the second door and a light shining on a single flower…

Flowey: "Clever. Verrrryyy clever. You think you're really smart, don't you. Well understand this, fucker. In this world, it's kill or be killed, just like where you came from. So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Big. Fucking. Deal. I bet you feel really great. You didn't kill anybody this time. But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You'll die and you'll die and you'll fucking die. Until you tire of trying. What will you do then? Will you resort to your old ways and kill out of frustration? Or will you give up entirely on this world … and let ME inherit the power to control it? Yeah, just run on back to your shitty post nuclear role playing game where you can kill someone just because you like their equipment or find them annoying. Get this bitch, I am the prince of this world's future. Don't worry, my little monarch, my plan isn't regicide. Seeing a murderer in denial march around believing he can change the world for the better by talking things out? This is SO much more interesting."

Flowey's face grows smiling sinisterly and he lets out a demented laugh then retreats underground.

Vault Dweller: "… What uncouth vocabulary."

The Vault Dweller walks through the second door.

Fallout Undertale


	2. Chapter 2: Nuclear Winter

Chapter 2: Nuclear Winter

The Vault Dweller steps out into a frozen forest. The air is cold and still and the trees are tall and line up almost perfectly. The Vault Dweller looks back at the vault door. He puts his hand on it. For a moment, the Vault Dweller feels a deep regret. The peaceful life he had lived and the people he held close to his heart. He left it all behind… again. He takes his hand off the door and notices a bush and something metal in it. A…camera? Maybe Toriel uses it to keep an eye on the vault entrance. The Vault Dweller disregards this, says one last "Goodbye." underneath his breath and begins walking down a snowy path. After a few moments he sees a branch on the path. It's a tough-looking branch. He tries to pick it up but it's too heavy. He walks over it instead. After a few short steps, the branch breaks! The Vault Dweller inspects it. It's been smashed like it was nothing… The Vault Dweller equips his pistol just in case and proceeds along the path. The air is silent. All he hears is his footsteps in the snow. It feels like he's being followed. Eventually, the Vault Dweller comes across a small bridge with a gate of some kind over it. He holsters his pistol and gazes at the gate, contemplating why it's here. Suddenly, the air howls and goes completely silent. It is so quiet the Vault Dweller can hear his own heartbeat. The Vault Dweller feels a great unease, as if the sins of his past are crawling on his back. He tries to reach for his pistol, but his hands cannot move. He is frozen in absolute terror. Someone is behind him.

?: "Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand."

The Vault Dweller turns slowly in place and faces the one who was following him. He sees a black shadow standing in front of him. It stands at half the Vault Dweller's height but the Vault Dweller feels that one wrong move will give him a bad time. The shadow extends a hand. The Vault Dweller grabs it firmly.

Pppppprrrrrrrttttt…

Vault Dweller: "…heh…heh heh… HAHAHAHA!"

The comedic sound of a fart noise puts the Vault Dweller at ease. He lets go of the shadows hand and the "shadow" is revealed to be a short grinning skeleton wearing a blue jacket.

?: "heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's ALWAYS funny. anyways, you're a human, right? that;s hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

Vault Dweller: "Uh, nice to meet you… sans." *the Vault Dweller sees the irony of this situation*

sans: "im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… y'know… i don't really care about capturing anybody. now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC. hey, actually, I think that's hum over there. i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."

sans and the Vault Dweller cross the bridge and go through the gate thingy and arrive at a small clearing with what seems to be a checkpoint or sentry-station and a lamp that is conveniently shaped like the Vault Dweller.

sans: "quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp."

The Vault Dweller moves behind the conveniently-shaped lamp. A tall skeleton wearing some kind of white and orange armor and a cape walks on screen. He also seems to be grinning but he seems more annoyed than happy.

sans: "sup, bro?"

PAPYRUS: "YOU KNOW WHAT 'SUP,' BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T… RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

sans: "staring at this lamp. it's really cool. do you wanna look?"

PAPYRUS: "NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!" *PAPYRUS STOMPS ANGRILY* "WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE!? I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!" *PAPYRUS' MOOD CHANGES TO MORE SELF INDULDGED AND HE STRIKES A POSE WHERE THE WIND IS BLOWING HIS CAPE. HEY! THE WINDS BACK!* "THEN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO, BE MY, 'FRIEND?' I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING."

sans: "hmm… maybe this lamp will help you."

PAPYRUS: "SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

sans: "hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today. A skele-ton."

The screen zooms in on sans, he winks, the comic effect drum plays and the screen zooms out again.

Vault Dweller: *snicker*

PAPYRUS: "SANS!"

sans: "come on. you're smiling."

PAPYRUS: "I AM AND I HATE IT! SIGH… WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME… HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION…"

sans: "wow, sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the bone."

The same thing happens just like the last time sans made a horrible pun, only this time he has his arms out in the "I dunno" pose and he is grinning even bigger.

Vault Dweller: "hehehe."

PAPYRUS: "UGH! WHY DOES THAT LAMP KEEP SNICKERING!?"

sans: "donno. guess it just has a lose bulb." *sans silently winks at the forth wall*

PAPYRUS: "OH, THAT MAKES-SANS!"

Vault Dweller: "*struggling to hold in his laugher*

PAPYRUS: "I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT A LITTLE MORE, 'BACKBONE' INTO IT!"

Vault Dweller: *laughing uncontrollably into his hands*

PAPYRUS: "NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" *PAPYRUS WALKS OFF-SCREEN THEN WALKS BACK ON* "HEH!" *NOW HE WALKS OFF FOR REAL*

sans: "ok, you can come out now."

The Vault Dweller comes out from behind the conveniently-shaped lamp. His face is flushed red and he's breathing heavily. He's recovering from the bad puns.

sans: "woah buddy, you ok there?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah," *clears throat* "that was just, really funny."

sans: "im glad someone else also enjoys my horrible comedy…" *sans pauses for a sec* "actually, hey… hate to bother ya, but can you me a favor?"

Vault Dweller: "What kind of favor?"

sans: "i was thinking… my brother's been kind of down lately… he's never seen a human before. and seeing you might just make his day."

Vault Dweller: "He seemed pretty serious about the whole human capturing thing. Won't he attack me and try to take me prisoner?"

sans: "don't worry, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be."

Vault Dweller: "Well… you two where pretty entertaining. Alright, I'll show myself to him."

sans: "thanks a million. i'll be up ahead." *sans walks off-screen*

The Vault Dweller walks along the path and sees another save point and touches it. (The convenience of that lamp still fills you with determination.) The Vault Dweller also notices a box with a sign next to it. The sign reads "This is a box. You can put an item inside or take an item out. The same box will appear later, so don't worry about coming back. Sincerely," the words end here but below the sincerely is a picture of a rock and a snake. Odd. The Vault Dweller ignores the box for now and decides to walk to the left/up in the fork. He finds a stream and a fishing rod affixed to the ground. He decides to reel it in but all that's attached to the end is a photo of a weird-looking monster… (Call Me! Here's my number!) The Vault Dweller decides not to call. He proceeds back to the fork in the road, encounters a snowbird looking monster that gives a lame comedy act that the Vault Dweller still laughs at and goes the right way this time. There he sees sans and PAPYRUS chatting.

PAPYRUS: "SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE," *PAPYRUS SEES THE VAULT DWELLER IN THE CORNER OF HIS VISION AND HE CUTS HIMSELF OFF AND STARES AT THE VAULT DWELLER*

The skeleton brothers then engage in a strange back and forth of looks that ends up making them spin in place really fast. At the end of this weird display of curiosity the two turn their backs to the Vault Dweller and converse.

PAPYRUS: "SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN!?"

The two look in the Vault Dweller's general direction but somehow end up looking at a rock BEHIND HIM.

sans: "uhhhh… actually, i think that's a rock."

PAPYRUS: "OH."

Vault Dweller: (What?)

sans: "hey, what's that in front of the rock?"

PAPYRUS: *NOW SEEING THE HUMAN* "OH MY GOD! (IS… IS THAT A HUMAN)"

sans: "(yes)"

PAPYRUS: "OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!... 'AHEM' HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN! I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT. IN ANY CASE! CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *PAPYRUS RUNS OFF NYEH HEH HEHING*

sans: "well, that went well."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, peachy."

sans: "don't sweat it, kid. i'll keep an eyesocket out for ya." *sans walks off*

The Vault Dweller continues down the path the skelebros went and notices a poorly crafted sentry stand on it with narration on it. YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN! (NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.) The Vault Dweller laughs under his breath and continues onwards. The next thing he notices is a sign next to a sentry station. The sign reads "Absolutely NO MOVING!" The Vault Dweller moves because he knows he cannot progress the story without moving. Slowly yet suddenly, a… humanoid cybernetic dog with his brain floating in a jar on his head, wearing a wife beater with a red bull on it and holding two knives emerges from the sentry station.

?: "Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something WAS moving… For example, a human… I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!"

FIGHT start! Rexxo blocks the way! The Vault Dweller selects ACT and attempts to move closer to Rexxo.

Rexxo: "AH! MOVING! MOVING! MOVEMENT!"

Rexxo swings with a magical knife and it hits the moving Vault Dweller, causing minor damage. Rexxo is confirming the moving object. The Vault Dweller ACTs again, but what's this? The Vault Dweller notices a second panel in the ACT options. It's his Fallout Abilities! The Vault Dweller picks 'Sneak[100%]' and manages to get close to Rexxo, where he proceeds to pet him.

Rexxo: "WHAT! I'VE BEEN PET! PET? PET? PET? PAT? POT? PAT? WHO IS PAT?"

Rexxo has been pet and the Vault Dweller selects MERCY and spares Rexxo. YOU WON! You earned 0 XP and 30 golden bottle caps.

Rexxo: "S-S-S-Something pet me… Something that isn't m-m-moving… I'm gonna need some dog treats for this!"

The Vault Dweller walks off to the right and notices some bone shaped objects on the ground. (Someone's been smoking dog treats.)

Vault Dweller: "…" *the Vault Dweller has nothing to say about that*

The Vault Dweller continues on the path and enters another clearing with another fork in the road covered in ice. sans is standing nearby and the Vault Dweller speaks with him.

sans: "hey, here's something important to remember. my brother has a very special attack. if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you. here's an easy way to keep it in mind. imagine a stop sign. when you see a stop sign, you stop, right? stop signs are red. so imagine a blue stop sign instead. simple, right? when fighting, think about blue stop signs."

The Vault Dweller thinks back to his FIGHT with Rexxo. He remembers Rexxo's knives turning blue when he slashed at him.

Vault Dweller: "Wish I would have known that in the last battle, but thanks for the advice."

The Vault Dweller steps on the ice and he slides to the sign in the middle. It reads "North: Ice, South: Ice, West: Ice, East: Snowdin Town… and Ice." The Vault Dweller then goes North iin the fork and meets a snowman.

Snowman: "Hello. I am a snowman. I want to see the world… But I cannot move. If you would be so kind, traveller, please… Take a piece of me and bring it very far away."

The Vault Dweller nods accepting the snowman's task.

Snowman: "Thank you… good luck!"

The Vault Dweller takes a piece of the snowman and puts it in his pip-boy. (You got the Snowman Piece.) After that he ventures to the right side of the fork and once again meets the skeleton brothers conversing.

PAPYRUS: "REALLY THOUGH! THAT HUMAN! DO I KNOW THAT PERSON?"

sans: "do you not know… who you know?"

PAPYRUS: PBPBPPBPT! OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW! I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW… I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW!... YOU KNOW?" *PAPYRUS AND SANS NOTICE THE HUMAN STANDING ACROSS THE SQUARE IN THE SNOW* "OH-HO! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING! FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP! SOUND LIKE FUN? BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE, IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW."

The Vault Dweller walks forward and suddenly the orb electrocutes PAPYRUS.

PAPYRUS: *STOMPING ANGRILY* "SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

sans: 'i think the human has to hold the orb."

PAPYRUS: "OH, OKAY." *PAPYRUS WALKS THROUGH THE INVISIBLE MAZE, LEAVING A TRAIL IN THE SNOW, AND ENDS UP RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE HUMAN* "HOLD THIS PLEASE!" *PAPYRUS THROWS THE ORB IN THE AIR AND IT LANDS ON THE VAULT DWELLER'S HEAD* "OKAY, TRY NOW!"

The Vault Dweller follows the trail left by PAPYRUS and effortlessly navigates the invisible maze without getting shocked.

PAPYRUS: "INCREDIBLE! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL! YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY… TOO EASILY! HOWEVER! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *MOONWALK OFF SCREEN*

sans: "hey, thanks… my brother seems like he's having fun. by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing?"

Vault Dweller: "It's a little hard not to. What's the story behind it?"

sans: "we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since… keeps calling it his "battle body." man. isn't my brother cool?"

Vault Dweller: "Believe me, I can relate."

The Vault Dweller continues his journey. He meets a monster selling 'Nice Cream' in the middle of the woods and buys one. It's been ages since the Vault Dweller had ice cream so he savors it. In reality, it tastes horrible, but the Vault Dweller has had much worse so to him it tastes like paradise. After he finished his Nice Cream he finds a strange mini-game where he pushes a snowball that decreases in size every time he touches it into a hole. He succeeds and a flag with the number "13" comes out of the hole. He also gets 10 gold bottle caps. After that he finds a snowball that is actually a snodecaherdron. He also encounters sans again.

sans: "i've been thinking about selling treats too. want some fried snow? it's just 5 caps."

Vault Dweller: *nods*

sans: "did I say 5 caps? i ment 50 caps."

Vault Dweller: "Sorry, don't have that kind of money on me."

sans: "that's ok. I didn't have any snow."

The two exchange winks and pistol hands and the Vault Dweller continues progressing. To the right of sans he finds two more sentry stations right next to each other with a sign between them. It reads "SMELL DANGER RATING Snow Smell – Snowman WHITE Rating, Can become YELLOW Rating. Unsuspicious Smell – Puppy BLUE Rating, Smell of rolling around. Weird Smell – Humans GREEN Rating Destroy at all costs!" Inside the sentry stations are two signs. In one it says (His.) in the other it says (Hers.) The Vault Dweller then goes down and proceeds proper Again, he meets the skeleton bros.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR… SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"

sans: "it's right there. on the ground. trust me. there's no way they can get past this one."

The Vault Dweller walks over to and picks up the paper on the ground. It's a word search. The Vault Dweller uses his Perception[6] and easily solves the word search. He shows the finished puzzle to sans and PAPYRUS.

sans: "dang. i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION… JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

sans: "what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

PAPYRUS: "UN. BELIEVABLE. HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"

(Which is harder?)

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 40/40] You know what's really hard? Sudoku."

PAPYUS: "HMMM… YOU HAVE A POINT HUMAN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE BASICS OF THAT ONE!" *PAPYRUS RUNS OFF*

sans: "you're right. sudoku is tough. but papyrus… finds difficulty in interesting places. yesterday he got stumped trying to 'solve' the horoscope."

The Vault Dweller laughs and then proceeds on. He enters a clearing with a note on the ground, a table with spaghetti on it, another table with a microwave on it and a mouse hole. The note reads "HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT… THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH- HEH- HEH, PAPYRUS"

The Vault Dweller inspects the spaghetti. It's frozen. In fact, it's so cold, it's stuck to the table… The microwave is unplugged. All of the settings say "spaghetti." The Vault Dweller decides to save. (Knowing the mouse might one day find a way to hear up the spaghetti… It fills you with determination.) After saving, the Vault Dweller continues to another puzzle. This time he finds a hidden switch after un-snowing a map on the ground to lower some spikes blocking his path. He crosses another tiny bridge when suddenly two hooded monsters carrying giant axes approach.

?#1: "*BZZZT* What's that smell? *BEEP BEEP*" ?#2: "*BRRRT* Where's that smell? *BZZZT*" ?#1: "*BEEP BEEP* If you're a smell…" ?#2: "…identify yoursmelf! *BZZU*" *the two run around franticly searching for the smell and then stop right beside the Vault Dweller, flanking him on both sides. ?#1: "Hmmm… *BZZZZ* Here's that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate." ?#2: "Eliminate YOU!"

A FIGHT begins! The hooded monsters pull back their hoods and are revealed to be two humanoid robot dogs! CyberDogi assault you! The Vault Dweller ACTs. The male's name is Robodogamy and the female's name is K-9aressa. The two seem to be rubbing noses. They must be married. The Vault Dweller inspects them and notices something peculiar. Their eyes are broken. That must be why they were saying smell, they can only identify things through their sent sensors. The Vault Dweller remembers the sign he read earlier. Roll around. The Vault Dweller rolls around in the dirt and snow while the CyberDogi attempt to hit him with their axes. After rolling around for a little while, the Vault Dweller smells like a weird puppy. The Vault Dweller ACTs again asking the CyberDogi to smell him again.

Robodogamy: "*BEE-BEEP*What! Smells like a…" K-9aressa: "*BELELE*Are you actually a little puppy!?"

CyberDogi is confused by this. They blow white and blue hearts at the Vault Dweller and he avoids them. They think he may be a lost puppy. The Vault Dweller ACTs and pets the CyberDogi.

Robodogamy: "Wow! *BZZZT* Pet by another pup!" K-9aressa: "A dog that pets dogs… *BZT*Amazing!"

The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and spares CyberDogi, earning 40 golden bottle caps.

Robodogamy: "Dogs can pet other dogs? *BRRR*" K-9aressa: "A new world has opened up for us… *BEEP*" Robodogamy: "Thanks, weird puppy!" *the two run off*

The Vault Dweller proceeds on and encounters another puzzle involving turning Xs into Os and PAPYRUS standing behind some spikes.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY… IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"

Vault Dweller: "Uh, yeah. I left you the whole plate."

PAPYRUS: "REALLY!? WOWIE… YOU RESISTED THE FLAVOR OF MY HOMECOOKED PASTA… JUST SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME? FRET NOT HUMAN! I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS… WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!" *PAPYRUS RUNS OFF SCREEN*

The Vault Dweller finishes the puzzle, the spikes lower and he proceeds to the next puzzle where PAPYRUS is waiting for him.

PAPYRUS: "MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY. HOW SADDENING… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO… WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM? NYEH HEH HEH!" *THE VAULT DWELLER WALKS OVER TO THE NEXT PUZZLE AND PAPYRUS FOLLOWS* "HUMAN! HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO… I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE… BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS… WORRY NOT, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED! MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF! I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!"

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 100/100] Oh, but this puzzle was crafted by the Great Papyrus himself. A mere human such as I, who barely managed to complete your previous work, could not even dream of solving a puzzle in your likeness. Please, oh Great Papyrus, will you not aid this poor soul in his time of need? Surly any monster worthy of a spot in the Royal Guard would aid those weaker than they."

PAPYRUS: *HIS EYES SPARKLE AND HIS SMILE SEEMS TO HAVE GROWN* O-OK! *PAPYRUS TAKES HIS HEROIC CAPE FLUTTERING IN THE WIND STANCE* "THE ANSWER TO THIS PUZZLE, HUMAN, IS A SWITCH. THE SWITCH IS AT THE BASE OF THAT TREE!" *PAPYRUS POINTS AT THE TREE IN QUESTION*

The Vault Dweller finds the switch at the base of the tree and pushes it. All the Xs turn into Os causing the spikes to retreat into the ground. PAPYRUS Nyeh heh hehs and runs away and what do ya know, sans is waiting just beyond the spikes.

sans: "wow. you sure know how to schmooze an egotist over. good job. you didn't even need my help. which is great, 'cause i love doing absolutely nothing."

The Vault Dweller continues to the next screen where PAPYUS and sans (how?) are waiting beyond a field of 50 different shades of grey tiles and standing next to a machine of some kind.

PAPYRUS: "HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS! YOU SEE THESE TILES!? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH… THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION! RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM! YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU! GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM… YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER! ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE, BUT… IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES! THE PIRAHNAS WILL BITE YOU. ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A, YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP… SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH PIRAHNAS DO NOT LIKE! PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK! FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. HOW WAS THAT!? UNDERSTAND?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes. Lie"

PAPYRUS: "GREAT! THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING… THIS PUZZLE… IS ENTIRELY RANDOM! WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE… THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY…!" *PAPYRUS PULLS A SWITCH ON THE MACHINE*

The grey tiles begin changing colors rapidly. It gets faster and faster until suddenly… it stops with only two colors on the ground. A red line, a pink line and another red line. This pattern allows the Vault Dweller to cross with no hassle, at all.

PAPYRUS: *SPINS AWAY…*

The Vault Dweller crosses the pink Austrian flag and talks to sans.

sans: "actually, that spaghetti from earlier… it wasn't too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."

The Vault Dweller proceeds and finds another clearing. The Vault Dweller finds another sentry station with a sign next to it and a mongrel wearing armor staring at a pile of snow. On the floor of the station is a box of sugar bomberasians. The sign reads "AWARE OF MONGREL pleas pet mongrel". The mongrel is staring blankly into the snow, waiting for it to turn into art. Save point. (Knowing that mongrel will never give up trying to make the perfect snowdog… It fills you with determination.) After saving, the Vault Dweller notices brahmin looking monster standing in the clearing only this one has only one head and is wearing a sweater.

One Headed Brahmin Monster: "That mongrel considers itself an artist, but doesn't ever know what to create. It probably doesn't help that its brain is the size of a piece of kibble."

The Vault Dweller continues to another puzzle involving ice and Xs and Os. He also finds a buff snow Papyrus and lump of snow with the world "Sans" written on it with orange marker. After completing the puzzle, he slides down a long corridor of very tall trees. He emerges from the other side with a little Vault Boy made of snow on his head that quickly falls apart. He also falls off a cliff but lands safely and finds sans at the bottom.

sans: "say.. are you following me?"

The Vault Dweller walks a little to the right to find sans again-wait, what!?

sans: "you sure do like to exercise."

The Vault Dweller disregards this, undecorates a radstag looking monster and proceeds. He has reached the highest point of the cliffs. All wind seems to have stopped. The snow isn't falling either. The place is covered in snow poffs. There is a tiny doghouse with a sign that says "Woof." next to it. The Vault Dweller walks across the field of snow poffs. The silence is deafening. Not even the slightest breeze can be felt. The Vault Dweller can hear every piece of snow break as he walks. He makes it to the last snow poff when suddenly… a tail appears out of the snow poff. Then a head appears out of the snow poff. It is a dog with black and white fur. The dog barks playfully, and time freezes. The dog begins to rise from the snow poff slowly revealing its true form. The ground begins to shake, trembling in absolute fear as if the world was ending again. The snow flees in terror from the dog, revealing a massive suit of power armor and a perfectly conditioned super sledge. The power armor has numbers on it. 13-1 13-2 101-3 111-4. The shadows below cower in fear as if the devil himself was ordering a full retreat of the forces of hell. Almost certainly, the Vault Dweller could hear the cries of angels. Their voices passionate yet fearful out of righteous respect for the dog. The Grim Reaper himself kneels before the dog. A bright light shines on the dog and Vault Dweller as if GOD himself is watching. The forces of light and the forces of dark, none feel worthy to stand in the presence of this dog. Man, mere worms. Monsters, simple creatures. Holy and unholy, meaningless titles. Reality itself, is but of mere insignificance.

Vault Dweller: "…Dogmeat?"

It's Dogmeat. The FIGHT begins but the mere presence of Dogmeat causes the game to crash and the computer they were in to explode. However, by his will alone, Dogmeat pulls himself and the Vault Dweller into our reality so that they may continue to fight. They are in a cave deep below the Earth's surface much like the one in Undertale. The Vault Dweller ACTs. He checks to see what has happened to Dogmeat. (Dogmeat ∞ ATK ∞ DEF It's so excited to see its original master again that it thinks fighting is just play.)

Dogmeat swings his super sledge at the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller dodges, only being missed by molecules. The Vault Dweller ACTs again. The Vault Dweller beckons Dogmeat.

Vault Dweller: "Dogmeat, Let's Play!"

Dogmeat bounds towards the Vault Dweller, klecking slobber into his face. The slobber glimmers in the darkness as if it was made of crystal and gold. Dogmeat barks at the Vault Dweller, causing the entire underground to shake and would have caused the Vault Dweller's eardrums to explode if he hadn't covered them. The Vault Dweller regains his composure and ACTs. He fights all of his fears off as hard as he can, extends his hand and pets Dogmeat. Dogmeat curls up in the Vault Dweller's lap as it is being pet by him. Dogmeat gets so comfortable it falls asleep. For a moment, the world goes completely silent. All wars and fighting stop. All arguments and bigotry halt. Every conflict that could be ends. The Dogmeat wakes up! It's so excited! The conflicts of man begin just as quickly as they ended and this time with more force. Dogmeat grabs the Vault Dweller and they rocket out of the underground onto a battlefield in the Middle East right in the middle of a sandstorm. Bullets are flying, men are screaming, chaos is everywhere. Dogmeat grabs a tanks and throws it at a fighter jet, hitting it and causing a massive explosion. The Vault Dweller ACTs quickly, grabs a metal bar from a wrecked helicopter and throws it for Dogmeat to fetch. It lands in the sand. Dogmeat picks up all the sand in the area and brings it to the Vault Dweller. Now Dogmeat is very tired… It rests on the Vault Dweller right in the middle of the battlefield. Dogmeat wants some TLC. The Vault Dweller ACTs and pets Dogmeat. As he pets Dogmeat, it sinks its entire weight into him causing an earthquake… The Vault Dweller is somehow not completely crushed, but he still hasn't pet enough…! Pet capacity is 40-percent. The Vault Dweller ACTs again. He pets decisively. Pet capacity reaches 100 percent. Dogmeat flops over with its legs hanging in the air. The Archangel Michael, the Valkyrie Gunnr and Chuck Norris descend from Heaven from the eye of the sandstorm. They endow the Vault Dweller with the ability to spare Dogmeat. The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and spares Dogmeat. The world begins to glitch. Reality itself seems to be tearing at the seam. Life Death Love Hate War Peace. Everything fades to black for a moment. Suddenly, the Vault Dweller is returned to the multiverse videogame crossover with Dogmeat standing in front of him. Dogmeat is out of his power armor wagging his tail, revealing its cute four-legged dog form. The Vault Dweller kneels down and pets Dogmeat as Dogmeat licks the Vault Dweller. When Dogmeat conclude his affection, he jumps back into his power armor head first and walks away. Despite everything the Vault Dweller went through, he is glad to have seen his old friend again. The Vault Dweller proceeds on a very long rope bridge connecting the cliff he was on to another cliff. At the end of the bridge he, once again, meets sans and PAPYRUS.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"

A spike ball on chains, a spear, a dog on a rope, a torch with fire spewing from it, another spear and a cannon appear above and below the bridge.

Vault Dweller: "DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?"

sans: "what, you mean that dog that just walked by? he's harmless."

Vault Dweller: "Wha…I … Dogm… harmle… the… reality… ARG, FORGET IT!"

PAPYRUS: "ANYWAYS, WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNOS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY!? BECAUSE! HERE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"

Nothing happens.

sans: "well? what's the holdup?"

PAPYRUS: "HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M… I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"

Nothing happens.

sans: "that, uh, doesn't look very activated."

PAPYRUS: "WELL! THIS CHALLENGE! IT SEEMS… MAYBE… TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN WITH. YEAH! WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!" *THE TRAP GOES AWAY* "PHEW. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH!... HEH?" *QUICKLY WALKS AWAY*

The Vault Dweller makes it across the bridge and talks to sans.

sans: "I don't know what my brother's going to do now. if i were you, i would make sure i understand blue attacks."

The Vault Dweller continues his journey in the next chapter…


	3. Chapter 3: Shady Snowdin

Chapter 3: Shady Snowdin

Welcome to Shady Snowdin! As a sign reads greeting the Vault Dweller as he enters a very familiar yet very different new town. A save pint is right in front of two connected houses. (The sight of such a friendly town that feels strangely familiar to you fills you with determination. The Vault Dweller enters the shop on the left side of the connected houses a meets a purple-haired female humanoid bunny.

Shopkeeper: "Hello traveller. How can I help you? Care to chat?"

Vault Dweller: "Hello."

Shopkeeper: "Hiya! Welcome to Snowdin! I can't remember the last time I saw a fresh face around here. Where did you come from? The capital?"

Vault Dweller: "I came from a Vault."

Shopkeeper: "A Vault? Oh! You must mean the RUINS behind that huge gear looking door. I didn't think that door even opened. So you lived in there? Why did you leave? You don't look like a tourist. Are you here by yourself?" *The Shopkeeper examines the Vault Dweller and notices his jumpsuit.* "Hey, where did you get that jumpsuit?"

Vault Dweller: "My jumpsuit? Well, I got it from my Vault. It's the only thing we really wore…" *The Vault Dweller spins around and the Shop Keeper sees the 13 on his back*

Shopkeeper: "Oh, is see. I asked because I have something similar in my possession and thought you stole it. Actually, could you tell me about this?" *The Shopkeeper points to a jumpsuit hanging on the wall*

Upon closer inspection, the Vault Suit is armored with bits of leather armor and there is a number on the collar. 101.

Vault Dweller: "Another vault suit? 101…? Where did you find it?"

Shopkeeper: "I just found it lying in the snow while out for a walk one day. I was hoping since you had a similar suit that you would know more about it."

Vault Dweller: "All I can say from looking at it is that it comes from a different Vault than mine and whoever used it must have wondered outside his Vault for a long time." *For some reason, saying that last sentence made the Vault Dweller tear up a bit*

Shopkeeper: *Notices the Vault Dwellers tears* "Woah, this suit must mean something to you. Listen, I'll give it to you for free, just don't tell anyone." *she takes the suit off the hangers and hands it to the Vault Dweller*

The Vault Dweller received the Armored Vault 101 Jumpsuit. He Equips it. It's a little tight, but the Vault Dweller feels a strange comfort in wearing it.

Shopkeeper: "You look good. Now, anything else I can help you with?"

Vault Dweller: "What's there to do here?"

Shopkeeper: "You want to know what to do here in Shady Snowdin? Grillby's has food, and the library has information... If you're tired, you can take a nap at the inn. It's right next door - my sister runs it. And if you're bored, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There's two of 'em... Brothers, I think."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, we've met. Never a dull moment with them around. Have they always been here?"

Shopkeeper: "No. They just showed up one day and... asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then."

Vault Dweller: "Speaking of which, what's the history of this place?"

Shopkeeper: "Guess they didn't give you a history lesson about the 'outside' world in the RUINS. A long time ago, monsters lived in the RUINS back there in the forest. Long story short, we all decided to leave the ruins and head for the end of the caverns. Along the way, some fuzzy folk decided they liked the cold and set up the community of Shady Snowdin. Oh, and I'm sure you already know, but don't think about trying to explore the RUINS... The door is sealed from the inside and has been that way for ages. So unless you're a ghost or can burrow under the door, forget about it."

The Vault Dweller is very confused by this but decides not to question it.

Vault Dweller: "What's your life like?"

Shopkeeper: "Life is the same as usual. A little claustrophobic... But...we all know deep down that freedom is coming, don't we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day... That's life, ain't it?"

Vault Dweller: "*looks down* "Yeah…" *looks up* "Anyways, care to barter?"

Shopkeeper: "Huh? Does this look like a pawn shop? I don't know how it works where you come from... but... If I started spending money on old pistols and used stimpaks, I'd be out of business in a jiffy!"

Vault Dweller: "So no trading?"

Shopkeeper: "If you're really hurtin' for cash, then maybe you could do some microtransactions like a 'Creation Club' or something. I hear people will pay for ANYTHING nowadays."

Vault Dweller: "That sounds like putting a price tag on stuff that should be free. I'll just buy something with what cash I have."

Shopkeeper: "What would you like to buy?"

The Vault Dweller notices a device similar to his Pip-Boy.

Vault Dweller: "What's that?" *points to the Pip-Boy*

Shopkeeper: "This? I found it with the suit I gave you. From what I can tell by the markings and circuitry, it's called a Pip-Boy 3000 and is some kind of computer watch thing. You can have it for a price, I already gave you the suit for free. I should also mention that it's broken and I have no idea how to fix it."

The Vault Dweller buys the Pip-Boy 3000 and a Sweetbun.

Shopkeeper: "Thanks for your purchase." *The Vault Dweller Exits the Store* "Bye now!"

The Vault Dweller decides to stay at the Inn for the night to spend some time repairing the Pip-Boy 3000 with his repair skill [100] and parts from his Pip-Boy 2000. He completes the repairs and equips the Pip-Boy 3000, replacing the Pip-Boy 2000. After a quick rest, he finds out that he has only been in his room for a few minutes and gets a refund. The Vault Dweller proceeds to wonder around town talking with the locals. He meets a rabbit woman walking a tiny rabbit and a rabbit man who finds the rabbit woman disturbing. He reaches the center of town where he finds a Christmas tree with presents under it and learns of the "Christmas" tradition. He meets a monster kid who mistakes him for a kid by mistaking the yellow stripe line on his shirt for a stripe. He also finds out the town doesn't have a mayor and instead problems are solved when a skeleton tells a fish lady about it. Thaaaaaat's politics! After that, the Vault Dweller enters a bar known as Grillby's. The inside is very clean. Way cleaner than any bar on the surface. There are all kinds of monsters in the bar. A bunny blob and a large toothed bellsprout are sitting at the booths. A horse dude in a leather jacket is next to the jukebox. A fish man wearing a wife beater and a bird lady wearing a sleeveless shirt are slouching at the bar proper. An armored mongrel is playing poker against itself and appears to be… losing? How is that even possible? Hey! It's the Royal Dog Guards! The Vault Dweller speaks with them.

K-9aressa: "We're sentries, but we never get any respect. *BRR* I wish those skeletons would throw us a bone. *BELEOP* We love bones."

Robobogamy: "You better watch where you sit down in here, *BZZT* man. Because that big guy WILL jump into your lap and give you lots of love and attention."

The Vault Dweller is horrified beyond comprehendible reasoning at the thought of this.

Rexxo: "I'm thinking of getting a spiked collar to show off my personality. It makes a statement like… 'Take me to Jacobstown and replace my brain please.'"

The Vault Dweller gathers every single ounce of determination he has and walks very, very, VERY nervously to Dogmeat who is the only one actually sitting at the table. He manages to speak.

Vault Dweller: "…h…..hi."

Dogmeat: "Woof."

The woof is loud but it doesn't shatter the very fabric of space-time and reality itself. Now that wasn't so bad, right? The Vault Dweller proceeds to the bar where fire in the shape of a man wearing glasses and an old western bartender uniform is polishing a glass. He speaks with him.

Grillby: "… … …"

Bird lady: "Grillbz said that he'd offer you a glass of water, but he doesn't touch the stuff."

The Vault Dweller snickers and decides to leave. He makes his way over to the… LIBRARBY. The sign is spelled wrong. He meets the librarian who knows the sign is misspelled, a newspaper editor, the number-one word-search creator in the entire underground and a one eyed monster who knows the Vault Dweller has trouble with Sudoku. One monster, however, catches his interest. It seems to be a floating robe of some kind reading a book. The Vault Dweller speaks to the robe.

Vault Dweller: "Excuse me, may I trouble you for a second?"

?: "Hm?" *the coat lowers the book and looks at the Vault Dweller. At least I think it is, kinda hard to tell* "You… you strike an appearance that induces nostalgia."

Vault Dweller: "I don't think I've ever met a floating coat before."

?: "Floating… Oh! I'm dreadfully sorry, good sir. I often forget that people cannot visualize me with my robes adorned. Allow me to property make your acquaintance." *the robe is removed, revealing an Albino Deathclaw*

Vault Dweller: *Jumps back* "AH!"

?: "Diminish thy anxiety of death, homo-sapien of the over terrestrial. The proper title I have been bestowed with is Goris. You may address me as such, should you deem it acceptable."

Vault Dweller: "Deathclaws… can talk?"

Goris: "The vast majority of the species that have gained the formal classification Mors Capsule, Deathclaw in layman, do not possess the ability to verbally communicate through specific definitions consisting of vibration that are formed though the oral cavities. However, I am the final remnant of a species that where classified "Intelligent Deathclaws" which have harnessed the ability to verbally communicate through human language."

Vault Dweller: "So, you're the last of the Deathclaws that don't murder people on the spot? What happened to your people and how did you escape."

Goris: "My people once resided in a place your people constructed. Your people titled the structure as a Vault. This vault kept us safe from Homo-sapiens that would see us deceased. However, we allowed conversation and cooperation with Homo-sapiens that saw reason. We allowed a man who looked very much like yourself to explore our home. He was looking for a way to save his home. I knew this human was a kind-hearted individual and when we spoke I decided to accompany him in hopes that through our cooperation we could set an example to the rest of his species to bring peace between the two." *he pauses for a second* "But then, a group of heinous individuals known as the Enclave massacred my people. At first I lost all my faith in the goodness of humanity. I thought all humans where just murderous creatures and should be eradicated just as they did with my people. But, I soon found out that the man I was traveling with also had his home attacked by the Enclave. I lost my people to the Enclave, and I didn't want his people meet the same fate. So we destroyed the Enclave together, the human managed to rebuild his peoples civilization. After that I knew no place on the surface would accept me, despite the humans' kindness, so I traveled alone until I found this place. A place filled with monsters much like myself who only wish for peace. I am elated to reside here and humbly proclaim the Subterranean caverns my home."

Vault Dweller: "It must feel good to fit in…"

Goris: "Chin up, old bean. Monsters are very understanding. Why don't you study up a bit, so you can come to know this place for what true graces it bares." *Goris puts his robe back on and continues reading his book*

The Vault Dweller sees the place is filled with non-burned books. This is very unusual for him. Though he's been underground for a while, he knows very little about monsters, so he decides to educate himself for a little. He picks five colored books to read.

(Red Book)

(It's a school report about monster funerals.)

"Monster funerals, technically speaking, are cool as heck.

When monsters get old and kick the bucket, they turn into dust.

At funerals, we take that dust and spread it on that person's favorite thing.

Then their essence will live on in that thing...

Uhhh, am I at the page minimum yet?

I'm kinda sick of writing this."

In Vault 13 when people died they were incinerated. The ashes could not be stored in urns because of supply limitations so there was a similar tradition where the ashes would be spread on a person's favorite thing so that the item in question could act as memorabilia. However, they only used a small about to avoid ashes getting into the ventilation system.

(Blue Book)

"While monsters are mostly made of magic, human beings are mostly made of water.

Humans, with their physical forms, are far stronger than us.

But they will never know the joy of expressing themselves through magic.

They'll never get a bullet-pattern birthday card..."

Magic? Come to think of it, the Vault Dweller remembers his FIGHT with Toriel and how she shot fireballs at him. He didn't question it at the time, but now things are starting to make sense. Though he wonders how a physical form makes a human stronger than a monster with a purely magical form? Then again, the Vault Dweller doesn't really know much about magic. Maybe the next book can shed some light on this.

(Orange Book)

"Because they are made of magic, monsters' bodies are attuned to their SOUL.

If a monster doesn't want to fight, its defenses will weaken.

And the crueler the intentions of our enemies, the more their attacks will hurt us.

Therefore, if a being with a powerful SOUL struck with the desire to kill...

Um, let's end the chapter here..."

A cold chill runs down the Vault Dweller's spine. He knows how cruel humans can be and fears he too might give into the destructive nature of man. He takes a moment to gather himself and continues reading.

(Light Green Book)

"MONSTER HISTORY PART 4"

"Fearing the humans no longer, we moved out of our old city, HOME.

We braved harsh cold, damp swampland, and searing heat...

Until we reached what we now call our capital.

"NEW HOME."

Again, our King is really bad at names...?"

NEW HOME. The Vault Dweller remembers the books he and Toriel read together. He remembers hearing about how the monsters retreated underground and the RUINS was originally their home. The RUINS were originally called HOME. The king really is bad at making names.

(Dark Green Book)

"Love, hope, compassion...

This is what people say monster SOULs are made of.

But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown.

After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist."

The bombs. This is the first thing that pops into the Vault Dwellers head after reading that. He's done reading. He returns the books to the shelves and walks out of the library.

The Vault Dweller walks upwards past a family of slimes and a muscular wolf monster throwing massive blocks of ice into the water and eventually meets a quiet place next to a stream. He sits at the stream, silently thinking. Humans. They were the ones responsible for the end of the world. Even after that they just continued doing what they always did: kill each other over stupid shit. War. War never changes. And neither do humans… The Vault Dweller stares into the stream and his reflection stares right back.

?: "Hey, what wrong?"

Vault Dweller: "I… shouldn't be here. My very presence here is a threat to the monsters."

?: "Why do you say that?"

Vault Dweller: "Because I'm human, and every human has a destructive nature deep down. Some accept it very early on while others try to keep it buried for as long as they can until they can no longer deny it and it explodes. The Great War was the biggest and most horrible example of that. I've lived by the gun and killed. I am not different."

?: "The value of life has eluded you, Vault Dweller. You fought those who would kill for pleasure, who would enslave those they deemed weak and those who would see the world destroyed again. You fought demons. You did not fight for survival. You fought for the survival of others. Destruction was never the core of your soul."

Vault Dweller: "Then what is!?"

Mysterious Stranger: *puts hand on the Vault Dwellers shoulder* "Determination."

The Vault Dweller looks behind him but no one is there. His soul appears in front of him. It is covered in a black shadow. The Vault Dwellers mind is flooded with all the people he hurt and killed, but he fights off these memories with the memories of the people he has helped and saved. Shady Sands, Necropolis, Junktown… Vault 13. His soul begins to glow. The light grows and soon glows so bright that it banishes the shadow. His soul is now clear. It is a red heart with the number 13 on it. The Vault Dwellers soul returns to his body. He smiles and nods at his reflection in the water and returns to his quest.

The Vault Dweller returns to Shady Snowdin. He passes a rather large house decorated with Christmas lights and proceeds down a path lined with trees on both sides. A thick fog beings roll in. He stops in his tracks. A figure can be seen in the fog with him.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE… THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER'S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FEELINGS… THE MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW! I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. I PITY YOU… LONELY WONDERER… WORRY NOT! YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR… NO… NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND! YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM! POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! THAT'S PAPYRUS! THE NEWEST MEMBER… OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

A FIGHT begins! Papyrus blocks the way! The Vault Dweller ACTS. He checks Papyrus. PAPYRUS 8 ATK 2 DEF He likes to say: "Nyeh heh heh!"

PAPYRUS: "NYEH HEH HEH!"

Papyrus sends forth some bones that skid across the ground but come nowhere close to hitting the Vault Dweller. Papyrus is considering his options. The Vault Dweller ACTS.

Vault Dweller: "[Confirmed Bachelor] I've seen a lot of skeletons in my day, but none as handsome as you."

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? FL-FLIRTING? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS! W- WELL! I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"

Vault Dweller: "[Charisma 1/1] I can make spaghetti."

PAPYRUS: "OH NO! YOU'RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS! I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU…? LET'S DATE L- LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!"

Papyrus sends out more bones that come nowhere close to hitting the Vault Dweller. Papyrus is thinking about what to wear for his date. The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and then Spare.

PAPYUS: "SO YOU WON'T FIGHT… THEN, LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK!'"

Papyrus sends forth a barrage of blue bones at the Vault Dweller but the Vault Dweller stands perfectly still so they phase right through him. Then suddenly, the Vault Dwellers soul turns blue, he drops to the floor and a bone hits him from the side!

Vault Dweller: "Ow! What the…" *he feels heavy* [Movement decreased by 50%]

PAPYRUS: "YOU'RE BLUE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

You're blue now. The Vault Dwellers slow movement makes it difficult for him to dodge attacks. Papyrus seems to be shooting his bones straighter now. The Vault Dweller manages to jump over some slow small bones but soon Papyrus starts shooting bigger and faster bones. The Vault Dweller starts taking massive damage. The Vault Dweller decides if he can't move, he can shoot. Papyrus sends out another bone barrage but this time instead of dodging the Vault Dweller takes out his pistol, activates V.A.T.S. and shoots the incoming bone projectiles. He hits all of them perfectly. While the battle rages on, Papyrus begins to monologue to himself.

PAPYRUS: "HMMM... I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR... WHAT!? I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!"

Papyrus' attacks get more intense every wave but the Vault Dweller keeps shooting straight. However, he makes sure he doesn't hit Papyrus.

PAPYRUS: "YEAH! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!

PAPYRUS: HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!

PAPYRUS: UNPARALLELED SPAGETTORE!

UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME! THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE! MY BROTHER WILL ... WELL, HE WON'T CHANGE VERY MUCH. I'LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS! BUT..."

Papyrus' attacks start slowing down.

PAPYRUS: "WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU? AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD... AFTER YOU'RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY. URGH... WHO CARES! GIVE UP!"

The Vault Dweller smiles and shakes his head at Papyrus.

PAPYRUS: "GIVE UP OR FACE MY... SPECIAL ATTACK!"

The Vault Dweller extends his hand and gestures to 'bring it on'.

PAPYRUS: *STARTS CHARGING UP* "YEAH! VERY SOON I WILL USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" *STILL CHARGING* "NOT TOO LONG AND I WILL USE THAT SPECIAL ATTACK!" *WAVING HIS ARMS AROUND* "THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE... BEFORE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

The Vault Dweller braces himself.

PAPYRUS: "BEHOLD...! MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

A dog chewing on a bone appears.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT THE HECK! THAT'S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY! YOU STUPID DOG! DO YOU HEAR ME!? STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE!" *THE DOG SLOWLY CRAWLS AWAY* "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK! ... OH WELL. I'LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK."

The Vault Dweller checks his pistol and finds… he's out of ammo...

Vault Dweller: "Uh oh…"

PAPYRUS: *SIGH* "HERE'S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK."

Papyrus sends out a barrage of bones in all different directions. Even the dog comes back for a cheap shot. Then the bones form the word "Cool Dude" and a bone on a skateboard rides by. The Vault Dweller manages to dodge a few of the bones, but not all. His health is at half now. Suddenly, a massive wave of bones appear! The Vault stares in horror for a second then screams and rushes at the wave.

Vault Dweller: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The Vault Dweller is bombarded with bones. He runs through the wave, taking massive damage while attempting to stay on high ground, eh, bone and move forward. At the end of the wave is a massive bone! The Vault Dweller jumps through it, taking massive damage. He lands on the ground hyperventilating and sweating greatly. His health is at 2. A tiny bone slowly creeps towards the Vault Dweller. He takes his unloaded pistol and throws it at the bone, knocking it away. The Vault Dweller looks at Papyrus and finds him breathing heavily and sweating as well.

PAPYUS: "WELL...! *HUFF* IT'S CLEAR... YOU CAN'T! *HUFF* DEFEAT ME! YEAH! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! I WILL SPARE YOU, HUMAN! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, *huff* good deal... *huff*"

The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and Spares Papyrus.

PAPYRUS: "NYOO HOO HOO… I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU… UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME. I'LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD… AND… MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!"

Vault Dweller: "You put up an amazing fight, Papyrus. Let's just call this a draw. What do you say? Friends?"

PAPYRUS: "REALLY!? YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS, WITH ME? WELL THEN… I GUESS… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU! WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE… AND I'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!"

Vault Dweller: *pft* *struggling to hold in laughter*

PAPYRUS: "WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS… WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM? YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH! AND I'LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE. CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN... WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE BARRIER. THAT'S THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US ALL UNDERGROUND. ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT... EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL... LIKE YOU! THAT'S WHY THE KING WANTS TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN."

Vault Dweller: "If, uh, the king gets my soul *gulp* what will he do?"

PAPYRUS: "THAT'S WHY THE KING WANT TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN. HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER. THEN US MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE SURFACE! OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU... TO REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS... THROUGH THE KING'S CASTLE."

Vault Dweller: "What… what is the king like?"

PAPYRUS: "THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS...HE IS... WELL..."

The Vault Dweller begins to tremble.

PAPYRUS: "HE'S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!"

The Vault Dweller is dumbfounded by this.

PAPYUS: "EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY. I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY... 'EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR... CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?' HE'LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF! ANYWAY! THAT'S ENOUGH TALKING! I'LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND! FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *PAPYRUS SKIPS AWAY PAST THE VAULT DWELLER*

The Vault Dweller rests for a bit to regain his health. He then decides to have that date with Papyrus so he goes back to Shady Snowdin. He finds Papyrus standing in front of the big decorated house.

Vault Dweller: "I am here for that… 'Date'."

PAPYRUS: "SO YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME! YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS…"

Vault Dweller: "What, I-"

PAPYRUS: "I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL… A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!"

Papyrus and the Vault Dweller do a lap around Shady Snowdin and end up right back in front of the big decorated house.

PAPYRUS: "MY HOUSE!"

Papyrus runs into his house and the Vault Dweller follows. It's really nice inside. The Vault Dweller notices a rock on a plate on a table next to him.

PAPYRUS: "THIS IS MY BROTHER'S PET ROCK. HE ALWAYS FORGETS TO FEED IT. AS USUAL, I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY."

The rock is covered in sprinkles. The Vault Dweller then notices a dirty socks with a series of notes on it.

SANS! PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCK!

ok.

DON'T PUT IT BACK DOWN! MOVE IT!

ok.

YOU MOVED IT TWO INCHES! MOVE IT TO YOUR ROOM!

ok.

AND DON'T BRING IT BACK!

ok.

IT'S STILL HERE!

didn't you just say not to bring it back to my room?

FORGET IT!

Vault Dweller: "I love these guys."

The Vault Dweller notices something next to the forms page sock. It looks like a… television? It's really big and has a rectangular shape but has a flat screen. Does it even work? The Vault Dweller looks for a button to flip on the strange flat screen and eventually finds it. The screen turns on and displays colored bars.

PAPYRUS: "OHH, IT'S MY FAVORITE GAME-SHOW!"

It says "STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM – MTT."

PAPYUS: "WHAT! IT'S USUALLY BETTER THAN THIS! THIS IS JUST A BAD EPISODE! DON'T JUDGE ME!"

The Vault Dweller proceeds to the couch and touches it. It makes a jangling sound. He finds a bunch of loose bottle caps inside the couch… The Vault Dweller got 20GBC. He then finds a joke book with a quantum physics book inside with a joke book inside with a quantum physics book inside… The Vault Dweller closes the book. The Vault Dweller proceeds to the kitchen and examines the stove.

PAPYRUS: "MY BROTHER ALWAYS GOES OUT TO EAT. BUT… RECENTLY, HE TRIED 'BAKING' SOMETHING. IT WAS LIKE… A QUICHE. BUT FILLED WITH SUGARY, NON- EGG SUBSTANCE. HOW ABSURD!"

The Vault Dweller examines the trash can.

PAPYUS: "THAT'S THE TRASH CAN. FEEL FREE TO VISIT IT ANY TIME."

The Vault Dweller notices the fridge. He is not used to them being stocked with food, even after his time in the RUINS so he opens it with caution.

PAPYRUS: "AH- HA! INTERESTED IN MY FOOD MUSEUM? PLEASE. PERSUE MY CULINARY ARTSHOW."

Half of the fridge is filled with containers all labelled "spaghetti." The other half contains nothing but an empty bag of crisps. The Vault Dweller closes the fridge door and notices a very tall sink.

PAPYRUS: "IMPRESSED? I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF MY SINK."

Vault Dweller: "Why in the world would you want to increase the height of your sink?"

PAPYRUS: "SO I CAN FIT MORE BONES UNDER IT! TAKE A LOOKSY!"

The Vault Dweller opens the really tall sink drawer. On the inside is the dog that was chewing on Papyrus' special attack and is still doing just that.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!"

The meddling canine runs out the front door as the Vault Dweller attempts to catch it.

PAPYRUS: "CURSES!"

sans on the trombone: *wah wah waaah*

PAPYUS: "SANS! STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!"

Vault Dweller: "HAHAHA!"

After his laughter outburst the Vault Dweller proceeds to Papyrus' room on the second floor. It's covered in keep out signs and police tape. The other door at the far end of the hall has fire coming out… Anyways, back to Papyrus' room.

PAPYRUS: "THAT'S MY ROOM! IF YOU'RE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND… WE COULD GO IN AND… DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DATE?"

Vault Dweller: *Gulp* *opens the door and goes in and papyrus follows*

Papyrus' room is a little bigger than the room the Vault Dweller stayed in at the RUINS. It's filled with lots of interesting stuff. For example, a box filled with bones.

PAPYRUS: "HEY, THOSE ARE ALL THE ATTACKS I USED ON YOU. GREAT MEMORIES, HUH? SEEMS LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY… EVEN THOUGH IT BASICALLY JUST HAPPENED."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, I had a blast…"

A racecar bed.

PAPYRUS: "THAT'S MY BED! IF I EVER GET TO THE SURFACE… I'D LIKE TO DRIVE DOWN A LONG HIGHWAY. WIND IN MY HAIR… SUN ON MY SKIN… OF COURSE, THAT'S JUST A DREAM. SO INSTEAD I CRUISE WHEN I SNOOZE."

Vault Dweller: "I should warn you right now, most if not all highway systems today are either destroyed or inhabited by human settlements."

PAPYRUS: WHAT!? REALLY? THEN WHY EVEN HAVE HIGHWAYS!?"

Vault Dweller: "Well they were built before the bombs fell. After that people felt they were a good place to live because they are high above the ground. You might not be able to ride a long highway, but I bet you can cruise through the desert."

PAPYRUS: "WHY WOULD I DRIVE ON SWEET FOOD?"

Vault Dweller: "I didn't mean… never mind."

The Vault Dweller notices a table with Vault Tec bobbleheads on them.

PAPYRUS: "AH YES, BOBBLEHEADS! I'M NOT SURE WHY, BUT WHENEVER I FIND ONE I FEEL STRONGER. MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE BATTLE ADVICE ON THE BOTTOM."

The Vault Dweller looks at the underside of one of the bobbleheads and under the base it reads "The smart man knows a bandage only hides his wounds."

Vault Dweller: "Where did you get so many?"

PAPYRUS: "WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THEY'RE FROM… A CHUBBY, SMILING MAN WHO LOVES TO SURPRISE PEOPLE."

Vault Dweller: "So that would be…"

PAPYUS: "YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! SANTA!"

Vault Dweller: "… fair enough."

The Vault Dweller also notices a Vault Boy puppet on the table. He doesn't know why but the mere sight of it makes him very uneasy, so he decides not to ask where it came from.

A green flag with a skull is on the wall. The skull has an X on the forehead and the lips resemble tally marks.

PAPYRUS: "ISN'T THAT FLAG NEATO? UNDYNE FOUND IT AT THE BAY… I THINK IT'S FROM THE HUMAN WORLD? NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHY WOULD A HUMAN FLAG… HAVE A COOL SKELETON ON IT? WELL… I HAVE A THEORY. I THINK HUMANS… MUST HAVE DECENDED FROM SKELETONS! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Vault Dweller: "[Medicine [50/50] Actually, all humans have a skeleton just under our skin. It is our internal framework composed of 305 bones at birth and decreases to 206 bones by adulthood."

PAPYRUS: "SO, HUMANS ARE JUST SKELETONS WITH FLESHY ARMOR? THAT MEANS WE ARE PRACTICALLY BROTHERS!" *PAPYRUS HUGS THE VAULT DWELLER*

Vault Dweller: "Glad to be a part of the family."

The Vault Dweller ignores the bookshelf fearing he will get depressed again and looks inside the closet instead. Inside the closet, clothes are hung up neatly. One article of clothing catches the Vault Dwellers eye. It looks like a dark-red space suit of some kind. There are no gloves on it either. Finally, the Vault Dweller decides to start the date proper.

PAPYRUS: "DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes."

PAPYRUS: "OKAY! DATING START!"

DATING START!

PAPYRUS: "HERE WE ARE! ON OUR DATE! I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. BUT DON'T WORRY! YOU CAN'T SPELL 'PREPARED' WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!" *HOLDS UP A BOOK* "I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY. WE'RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!" *LOOKS INSIDE THE BOOK* "LET'S SEE… PRESS THE [ C ] KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR 'DATING HUD.'"

I press c and a bunch of weird charts and radars appear on screen.

PAPYRUS: "WOWIE! I FEEL SO INFORMED! I THINK WE'RE READY FOR STEP TWO! 'STEP TWO… ASK THEM ON A DATE.'" *PUTS AWAY BOOK* "AHEM! HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!"

Vault Dweller: "Ok."

PAPYRUS: "R- REALLY? WOWIE! I GUESS THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR PART THREE! 'STEP THREE… PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU CARE!' … WAIT A SECOND. 'WEAR CLOTHING…' YOUR SUIT HAS ARMOR AROUND IT AND A DIFFERENT NUMBER… AND THAT THING ON YOUR WRIST AND HAND… YOU'RE WEARING CLOTHING RIGHT NOW! NOT ONLY THAT… EARLIER TODAY, YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING! NO… COULD IT BE? YOU'VE WANTED TO DATE ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!?

Vault Dweller: "[Confirmed Bachelor] Aw yeah baby."

PAPYRUS: *SHOCKED* "NO! YOU PLANNED IT ALL! YOU'RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM! N-NOOOO! YOUR DATING POWER…!"

DATING POWER INCREASE BY 20%

PAPYRUS: *STERN EXPRESSION* "NYEH! NYEAH HEH HEH! DON'T THINK YOU'VE BESTED ME YET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING, AND I NEVER WILL! I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING! IN FACT… I ALWAYS WEAR MY 'SPECIAL' CLOTHES UNDERNEATH MY REGULAR CLOTHES! JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY HAPPENS TO ASK ME ON A DATE! BEHOLD!" *RUNS OFF SCREEN THEN RUNS BACK ON SCREEN WEARING A TSHIRT WITH THE WORLDS "COOL DUDE" ON IT, SHORTS, SHOES AND A BASEBALL HAT* "NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE!?"

Vault Dweller: "I love it."

PAPYRUS: "NO! A GENUINE COMPLIMENT…!

DATING POWER INCREASE BY 50%

PAPYRUS: "HOWEVER… YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT! THEREFORE… WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID!"

DATING POWER DECREASE BY 20%

PAPYUS: "THIS DATE WON'T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER!... UNLESS YOU FIND MY SECRET! BUT THAT WON'T HAPPEN!"

Vault Dweller: "[Intelligence 1/1] It's under your hat, isn't it?"

PAPYRUS: "MY HAT…? MY HAT. MY HAT! NYEH HEH HEH!" *THE HAT FLOATS OFF HIS HEAD REVEALING A GIFT BOX* "W- WELL THEN… YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE! IT'S A PRESENT… A PRESENT J- JUST FOR YOU!"

The Vault Dweller opens it revealing a plate of spaghetti.

PAPYRUS: "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?"

Vault Dweller: "Spaghetti."

PAPYRUS: "'SPAGHETTI.' THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID… RIGHT! BUT OH- SO WRONG! THIS AIN'T ANY PLAIN OL' PASTA! THIS IS AN ARTISAN'S WORK! SILKEN SPAGHETTI, FINELY AGED IN AN OAKEN CASK… THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS! HUMAN! IT'S TIME TO END THIS! THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAN GO ANY FURTHER!"

The Vault Dweller scarfs down the spaghetti. He immediately regrets this decision and wallowing on the ground in agony. The taste is indescribable.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION! YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY COOKING!"

Vault Dweller: *hump* *hurr* *urrr* *uuugh* *blec* *barf*

PAPYRUS: "AND BY EXTENSION, ME! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO! AUGH! URRRGH! NOOOOOOO!"

DATING POWER EXCEEDING MAXIMUM CAPACITY! The Vault Dweller passes out and the room goes white.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN. IT'S CLEAR NOW. YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME. EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT'S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE. HUMAN. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT'S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS…"

The room returns to normal and the Vault Dweller regains a small amount of consciousness but is still lying on the floor.

PAPYRUS: "I… UM… BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME? … OH, SHOOT. HUMAN, I… I'M SORRY. I DON'T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN. I MEAN, I TRIED VERY HARD TO! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME… THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. THEN, ON THE DATE, FEELINGS WOULD BLOSSOM FORTH! I WOULD BE ABLE TO MATCH YOUR PASSION FOR ME! BUT ALAS… I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE FAILED. I FEEL JUST THE SAME AS BEFORE. AND INSTEAD, BY DATING YOU… I HAVE ONLY DRAWN YOU DEEPER… INTO YOUR INTENSE LOVE FOR ME! A DARK PASSION, WITH NO ESCAPE. HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO MY DEAR FRIEND…? … NO! WAIT! THAT'S WRONG! I CAN'T FAIL AT ANYTHING! HUMAN! I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES! I'LL KEEP BEING YOUR COOL FRIEND… AND ACT LIKE THIS ALL NEVER HAPPENED." *PAPYRUS USES HIS MAGIC TO HEAL THE VAULT DWELLER AND RAISES HIM TO HIS FEET* "AFTER ALL, YOU ARE VERY GREAT. IT WOULD BE A TRAGIC TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP. SO PLEASE… DON'T CRY BECAUSE I WON'T KISS YOU. BECAUSE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE LIPS. AND HEY, SOMEDAY, YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME. WELL, NO. THAT'S NOT TRUE. BUT' ILL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *RUNS AWAY THEN COMES BACK* "OH, AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME… HERE'S MY PHONE NUMBER. YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! PLATONICALLY. WELL, GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH!" *RUNS AWAY*

The Vault Dweller gained the perk "Sworn Off Spaghetti".

The Vault Dweller leaves sans and Papyrus' home with multiple mixed feelings and a slight taste of barf in his mouth and continues his quest in the next chapter…


	4. Chapter 4: Revelation 21:6

Chapter 4: Revelation 21:6

The Vault Dweller enters a cave. It is decently warm and somewhat damp inside the cave. The monster who mistook the Vault Dweller for a kid is, a goldfish like monster is standing next to a large blue flower, a save point and sans in a sentry station are in the cave. The Vault Dweller speaks with the monster kid.

Monster Kid: "Yo! Are you sneaking out to see her, too?"

Vault Dweller: "Who's her?"

Monster Kid: "Yo, you don't know who Undyne is!? She's the head of the Royal Guard! She's the coolest! I wanna be just like her when I grow up… Hey, don't tell my parents I'm here. Ha ha."

The Vault Dweller gives a "I got your back, bro" gesture and proceeds to speak with the goldfish monster.

Echo Flower Explainer: "This is an Echo Flower. It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over... Neat, huh?"

The Vault Dweller speaks to the Echo Flower and it repeats "Neat, huh?" The Vault Dweller hasn't saved in a while so he decides to. (The sound of rushing clean water fills you with determination.) After saving, he talks to sans.

sans: "what? haven't you seen a guy with two jobs before? fortunately, two jobs means twice as many legally-required breaks. i'm going to grillby's. wanna come?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah."

sans: "well, if you insist… i'll pry myself away from my work… over here. i know a shortcut."

The Vault Dweller and sans walk off to the right and somehow end up in Grillby's.

Vault Dweller: "How did…"

sans: *interrupting the Vault Dweller* "fast shortcut, huh?" *turns to the diner crowd* "hey, everyone."

Robodogamy: "*BEP* Hey, Sans." K-9aressa: "*BOP* Hi, Sans."

Monster Bellsprout: "Greetings, Sans."

Bunny Blob: "Hiya, Sansy~"

Fish Guy: "Hey Sans, weren't you just here for breakfast a few minutes ago?"

sans: "nah, i haven't had breakfast in at least half an hour. you must be thinking of brunch." *everyone laughs* here, get comfy."

The Vault Dweller and sans sit at the bar. Prrrrrt.

sans: "whoops, watch where you sit down. sometimes weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats." *the Vault Dweller laughs* "anyways, lets order. whaddya want…?"

The Vault Dweller notices all the liquor on the shelves but after what he's been through, he doesn't think his stomach can handle it. He looks over his options for food and only has two: Fries or Burger. Fearing what they put in the burgers, he chooses fries.

Vault Dweller: "Fries, please."

sans: "hey, that sounds pretty good. grillby, we'll have a double order of fries." *grillby walks off and i comb my head* "so, what do you think… of my brother?"

Many thoughts race through the Vault Dwellers head while thinking of an answer for this question but in the end, he says what he feels in his heart.

Vault Dweller: "He's cool."

sans: "of course he's cool. you'd be cool too if you wore that outfit everyday. he'd only take that thing off if he absolutely had to. oh well. at least he washes it. and by that i mean he wears it in the shower."

The Vault Dweller doesn't know how to feel about that. Grillby returns with food and serves it to the Vault Dweller and sans.

sans: "here comes the grub. want some ketchup?" *holds up a bottle of ketchup*

Vault Dweller: "No, thank you."

sans: "more for me." *drinks the whole bottle*

The Vault Dweller looks in dumbfound then proceeds to eat his fries. Sans scratches his ass.

sans: "anyway, cool or not, you have to agree papyrus tries real hard. like how he keeps trying to be part of the royal guard. one day, he went to the house of the head of the royal guard… and begged her to let him be in it. of course, she shut the door on him because it was midnight. but the next day, she woke up and saw him still waiting there. seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training. it's, uh, still a work in progress."

Vault Dweller: "HOW!? Papyrus is really damn strong! How is he not a general or something by now!?"

sans: "truth be told, i'm not entirely sure. but what i'm sure you will find out later." *silence for a sec* oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something."

The room seems to get darker and time seems to freeze. Sans talks directly to the Vault Dweller.

sans: "have you ever heard of a talking flower."

Vault Dweller: *he pauses for a moment and braces himself* "Yes, I met one in the RUINS."

sans: "so you know all about it. the echo flower."

The Vault Dweller is confused.

sans: "they're all over the marsh. say something to them, an they'll repeat it over and over…"

Vault Dweller: "What concerns you about the echo flowers?"

sans: "well, papyrus told be something interesting the other day. sometimes, when no one else is around… a flower appears and whispers things to him. flattery… advice… encouragement… predictions. weird, huh? someone must be using an echo flower to play a trick on him."

Vault Dweller: "Sans…"

sans: "what?"

Vault Dweller: "That flower may be more dangerous than you're giving it credit. Just, keep an eye out, ok?"

sans: "…ok. thanks."

The livelihood of the room returns and time moves forward again.

sans: *gets off the barstool* "welp, that was a long break. i can't believe i let ya pull me away from work for that long. oh, by the way… i'm flat broke. can you foot the bill? it's just 10000GBC."

Vault Dweller: *spits out fries he was eating and coughs*

sans: "just kidding. grillby, put it on my tab." *leaves then comes back* "by the way… i was going to say something, but i forgot." *leaves*

The Vault Dweller finishes his food then leaves. He returns to the cave and decides to check on the echo flower again.

Echo Flower Explainer (Echo Flower): "All that gives my life validation is explaining the Echo Flower... No one can know..."

The Vault Dweller looks at the Echo Flower Explainer.

Echo Flower Explainer: "Never trust a flower... That's one of the constants of this world."

Again with the flowers. The Vault Dweller keeps his pistol at the ready, just in case you know who shows up. He continues walking in the cave and finds another box sitting next to a waterfall with a sign next to it. The sign reads "This is a box. You can put an item in or take it out. Why would you, though? You can't use items when they're in the box! Sincerely" the words end here and under the Sincerely is a crude and a crude drawing of waves and a snake carved into the sign. After reading the sign, the Vault Dweller attempts to cross the waterfall but large rocks are being pulled by the current, making the crossing very dangerous. One hits the Vault Dweller and knocks him onto a bridge below the waterfall. On the bridge he finds another echo flower.

? (Echo Flower): "I swore I saw something… Behind the rushing water…"

The Vault Dweller makes his way back to the waterfall and attempts to cross it again. This time he makes it half way through avoiding the rocks. He investigates the center of the waterfall and finds a small cave behind it! Inside the cave the Vault Dweller finds a suit or metal armor. However, this armor is a bit different than the ones he used to find. It does not have spikes on the shoulders and it has a few belts around it with some bullet dents in it. But what really caught the Vault Dwellers attention was the symbol on the shoulder. A winged sword with three gears behind it. There was no denying it. This armor belonged to the Brotherhood of Steel. The Vault Dweller freezes for a second. The Vault Dweller has meet the Brotherhood of Steel before and he knows their policy regarding non-humans. Kill on sight. Remembering this worries the Vault Dweller deeply. The Brotherhood was here before and if they comes looking for their lost equipment and soldier, they will discover the monsters and… genocide. However, the Vault Dweller takes a step back (metaphorically) and realizes that this is only one suit. Not only that, but the suit is just metal armor, not power armor. The Brotherhood only retrieves advanced technology based armor and simple metal is anything but. The Vault Dweller sighs in relief and decides to keep the armor. He equips it, replacing the Armored Vault 101 Jumpsuit, and exits the small cave back onto the waterfall. He successfully avoids the rocks and makes it to the other side safely. The Vault Dweller then enters a corridor with a portion of tall grass. The Vault Dweller enters the tall grass and activates sneak when he looks up and sees Papyrus walk to a suit of armor.

PAPYRUS: "H… HI, UNDYNE! I'M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT… UHHH… REGARDING THAT HUMAN I CALLED YOU ABOUT EARLIER…" *THE SUIT OF ARMOR FACES PAPYRUS* "… HUH? DID I FIGHT THEM? Y- YES! OF COURSE I DID! I FOUGHT THEM VALIANTLY!" *THE SUIT OF AROMOR FACES AWAY* "… WHAT? DID I CAPTURE THEM…? W- W- WELL… NO. I TRIED VERY HARD, UNDYNE, BUT IN THE END… I FAILED." *THE SUIT FACES PAPYRUS* "… W- WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THE HUMAN'S SOUL YOURSELF…" *THE SUIT OF ARMOR TURNS AWAY* "BUT UNDYNE, YOU DON'T H- HAVE TO DESTROY THEM! YOU SEE… YOU SEE…" *THE SUIT OF ARMOR FACES PAPYRUS AND HE BACKS AWAY SLOWLY* "… … I UNDERSTAND. I'LL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN." *WALKS AWAY*

The Vault Dweller moves slightly and the grass ruffles, catching Undynes attention. The Vault Dweller immediately freezes as Undyne walks towards the ledge. She summons a blue spear and inspects her surroundings but doesn't notice the Vault Dweller. She unsummons her spear and backs into the shadows, disappearing. As soon as the coast became clear, the Vault Dweller steps out of the tall grass and Monster Kid also comes out.

Monster Kid: "Yo… did you see the way she was staring at you…? That… … was AWESOME! I'm SOOOO jealous! What'd you do to get her attention…? Ha ha. C'mon! Let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!" *Runs off, trips, gets up and continues running*

The Vault Dweller notices the save point and touches it. (A feeling of dread hangs over you… But you stay determined.) The Vault Dweller proceeds on and finds a sign on the cave all that reads "When four Bridge Seeds align in the water, they will sprout." The Vault Dweller finds four of the seeds and places them in a small gap of water next to them. When they align, they bloom and the petals are strong enough to support the Vault Dweller so he crosses. He finds another room with more Bridge Seeds. He first uses them to find a sign in the middle of the water mocking him. Then he uses them to actually progress after ringing a bell that summons them back to land. After crossing the new bridge, the Vault Dwellers phone rings and he answers.

PAPYRUS: "HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!"

Vault Dweller: "Wait… I don't remember giving you my number. In fact… I don't even know my number! How did you get my number?"

PAPYRUS: "IT WAS EASY! I JUST DIALED EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS! YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD THE SOME OF THE PEOPLE I CALLED. THIS ONE GUY KEPT BLATHERING ON ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED THE 'GOOD FIGHT' AND THIS OTHER ONE WOULDN'T STOP TAKING ABOUT ROBOT SCORPIONS. I ALSO MIGHT HAVE ORDERED A FEW DOZEN PIZZAS, REMIND ME TO ASK SANS IF HE ACTUALLY GETS PAID. NYEH HEH HEH HEH! SO… WHAT ARE YOU WEARING…?"

Vault Dweller: "Uhhh… why do you ask?"

PAPYRUS: "I'M… ASKING FOR A FRIEND. SHE THOUGHT SHE SAW YOU WEARING SOME DUSTY METAL ARMOR. IS THAT TRUE? ARE YOU WEARING A DUSTY METAL ARMOR?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes…"

PAPYRUS: "SO YOU ARE WEARING DUSTY METAL ARMOR… GOT IT! WINK WINK! HAVE A NICE DAY!" *CLICK*

Vault Dweller: "I know friends shouldn't lie to each other, but I feel really stupid right now."

The Vault Dweller continues on his journey. He enters a deeper part of the cave that is filled with echo flowers and a sign on the cave wall that reads "WISHING ROOM". The lights are dimmer in here. The Vault Dweller listens to one of the echo flowers.

?(Echo Flower): "A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes to the stars in the sky. If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true. Now, all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling…"

The Vault Dweller looks up and sees many stones shining magnificently just as the stars in the night sky would. In Vault 13, when it was nighttime the lights would dim and florescent lights would activate on the ceiling giving the illusion of stars, much like the stones in this cave. For a second, the Vault Dweller begins to cry as he remembers the lives he had to leave but he holds back the tears and continues. He listens to more of the echo flowers.

?(Echo Flower): "Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong! The King will prove that."

?(Echo Flower): "C'mon, sis! Make a wish!"

?(Echo Flower): "I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday…"

?(Echo Flower): "Ah… seems my horoscope is the same as last week's…"

The Vault Dweller sees a telescope in the center of the room. He looks through and sees the ceiling stones. They look just like stars. The Vault Dweller then proceeds to a dead end, but uses his trap skill to reveal a secret door. He enters a room that seems more like a swamp then a cave with a wooden bridge over water. Ancient writing covers the walls… but the Vault Dweller can just make out the words.

"The War of Humans and Monsters. Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed that they had nothing to fear. Humans are unbelievably strong. It would take the SOUL of nearly every monster… just to equal the power of a single human SOUL. But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their SOUL. Its power allows it to persist outside the human body, even after death. If a monster defeats a human, they can take its SOUL. A monster with a human SOUL… A horrible beast with unfathomable power." The words end and on the last part of the wall is an illustration of a strange creature… There's something very unsettling about this drawing.

The Vault Dweller thinks hard about what he just read. He knows how strong he is. If the Vault Dweller dies and the monsters gain his soul… He can't let that happen. But… humans were the ones who started all this. They betrayed him even after he saved them TWICE. Should he just let the monsters have his soul… for revenge? No. The Vault Dweller must find out what those nightmares he had mean. Those may be more of a threat to the monsters than them gaining his soul. He's not about to give up just yet. He holds his head up high and continues on. He finds a very small raft that carries him across some water to another pier and he continues on his journey. As he's walking he drops his pistol behind him. When he goes to retrieve it, he notices something. There's a monster at the beginning of the pier the Vault Dweller just came from. Is that Monster Kid? Did he miss him or something? He returns to the beginning of the pier and when he gets close enough he notices that the monster kid is completely grey. The Vault Dweller speaks with him.

Vault Dweller: "Hey buddy, are you alright?"

The grey monster kid faces the Vault Dweller revealing completely white eyes with no pupils. He speaks.

Goner Kid: "Have you ever thought about a world where everything is exactly the same... Except you don't exist? Everything functions perfectly without you... Ha, ha... The thought terrifies me."

The Vault Dweller is horrified by the thought and he runs away in a panic. After a few meters of running a light blue spear lands right in front of him, causing him to immediately stop. Out from behind the pillars above the pier Undyne reveals herself. She summons barrages of light blue spears and hurls them at the Vault Dweller. He runs fast down the pier avoiding the spears and he uses his pistol to deflect some of them and lay down suppressive fire on Undyne but she does not flinch. Eventually he reaches land with a bunch of tall grass and activates sneak in the middle of it. Undyne follows him into the tall grass, pauses right in front of where he is, raises her hand and thrusts it downward grabbing… Monster Kid. He's smiling. Undyne puts him down and angrily walks away. Once he is sure Undyne's gone, the Vault Dweller deactivates his Sneak skill and walks out of the grass with Monster Kid following.

Monster Kid: "Yo… did you see that!? Undyne just… TOUCHED ME! I'm never washing my face ever again…! Man, are you unlucky. If you were standing just a LITTLE big to the left…! Yo, don't worry! I'm sure we'll see her again!"

Vault Dweller: "Hey were you just-"

Before the Vault Dweller can complete what he was going to ask, Monster Kid runs away excitedly, falls on his face, gets back up and continues running. The Vault Dweller decides it's probably best to forget about it and continues on. He finds a room with a piece of cheese on a table, but this cheese has been here so long, a magical crystal has grown around it. It's stuck to the table. Of course, there is also a mouse hole here with an echo flower next to it that say Squeak. Save point. (Knowing the mouse might one day extract the cheese from the mystical crystal… It fills you with determination.) The Vault Dweller continues on. He finds a corridor with a strange grey door on the wall. What's odd about it is that it looks like one of the pre-war doors the Vault Dweller has seen in the towns he's visited on the surface. The Vault Dweller opens the door and enters. The room is completely white. There is no sound and time itself seems to be in a standstill, or moving so fast that he cannot tell the difference. Does time even exist in this room? Space? Maybe it's just a void. In the middle of the room stands, or at least I think he's standing, a mystery man. His head is white like a skeleton but completely smooth with hollow black eyes. On his right eye, a crack is leading from his eye up his forehead and his left has a crack leading down his face. The figure has skeletal like hinds with holes in the center of them. He seems to be wearing a… Vault Jumpsuit? But this one is black with a white stripe in the middle. The presence of the mystery man fills the Vault Dweller with fear but he is not scared.

Vault Dweller: "Who… who are you?"

The mystery man smiles and a blue light appears in one eye and an orange light appears in the other. He extends his hands at the Vault Dweller and… What? The Vault Dweller… he's… deteriorating! No no no! Stop! The Vault Dweller is looking at his hands, they are… what are those numbers? His metal armor just disappeared! He's screaming! STOP IT!... His jumpsuit has turned completely black. The number on his back has turned into a 66. The Vault Dweller is on his knees, screaming at the top of his lungs… Numbers are flying off his body and he is… Readers… I don't know how to describe the utter horror I am writing… Why am I writing this…?… Someone… help the Vault Dweller… please... I don't want him… gone…

…

…

…

…huh? A man in a white trench coat and hat just appeared in the room! He tackled the Vault Dweller out of the room back into the cave! But wait! The man in white is still in the room! Get out, quick! The door! The… the man remained inside the room and the door closed behind him and… disappeared… Vault Dweller! He's lying on the cave ground in his metal armor again. Are you ok!? SAY SOMETHING!

Vault Dweller: *lying on the ground regaining consciousness* "Ugh. What? Was that… did I just…"

Your character model, it's back to normal! I'm so glad… I was worried…

Vault Dweller: *gets up* "…This place is getting stranger by the minute."

Very confused by what just happened, the Vault Dweller gathers himself and continues down the cave. He finds sans standing next to an odd-looking telescope and another box.

sans: "i'm thinking about getting into the telescope business. it's normally 50000G to use this premium telescope… but… since i know you, you can use it for free. howzabout it?"

Vault Dweller: "Sure."

The Vault Dweller looks through the telescope but only sees the color red. He frowns at sans.

sans: "huh? you aren't satisfied? don't worry. i'll give you a full refund."

The Vault Dweller notices his reflection in a crystal and sees a red ring around his eye.

Vault Dweller: "You… son of a bitch."

The Vault Dweller walks away whipping red paint off his eye. He then encounters another monster that can only really be described as an onion with feet.

Onion Looking Monster: "What's a star? Can you touch it? Can you eat it? Can you kill it? … Are you a star?"

Vault Dweller: "A giant luminous ball of hydrogen and helium held together by its own gravity in space. No. No. Yes. Of Fallout 1 and this FanFiction."

The Vault Dweller continues. He finds a new part of the cave, this one much more marsh-like yet… very relaxing. The waters a neon blue color with little lights coming, dancing around in the air. He has a flex-off with a horse-mermaid like monster named Aaron and walks west and finds another corridor filled with tall grass. About halfway through, someone speaks to the Vault Dweller.

?: "Excuse me... Yes, you, with the thing on your arm. Can you do something about your friend...?"

Vault Dweller: "Friend?"

?: "Yes, your friend... The one behind you, with the creepy smile. Hmmm? Where'd your friend go?"

The Vault Dweller looks behind him but doesn't see anyone. He's a bit creeped out by this.

Vault Dweller: "Sooo, what are you doing here?"

?: "I'm catching bugs. But the underground doesn't have many... I keep catching the same one. Achoo! Tried to catch a bug, but I just caught a cold..."

Afraid he'll catch a cold, the Vault Dweller walks away. He finds a disproportionately small gap in the water with a bird on the other side. He can't continue this way so the Vault Dweller goes back to find a new way through the underground swamp. He finds some bridges to the south and more echo flowers. The Vault Dweller hears passing conversations as he walks.

?(Echo Flower): "So? Don't you have any wishes to make?"

?(Echo Flower): "… hmmm, just one, but… It's kind of stupid."

The Vault Dweller detours a bit to the east and finds another patch of grass, only this one is really small. He goes inside of it and finds something very peculiar. It's a gun, but it's unlike any gun the Vault Dweller has seen before. It looks like a 10mm submachine gun but its black and made of plastic instead of grey and metal. It also appears to take 9mm bullets instead of 10mm. The Vault Dweller obtained the MP5 H&K. After finding the strange gun, the Vault Dweller continued his journey eastward. After a few meters of walking, his phone rings.

PAPYRUS: "HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS! REMEMBER WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT CLOTHES? WELL, THE FRIEND WHO WANTED TO KNOW… HER OPINION OF YOU IS VERY… MURDERY. BUT I BET YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY! AND BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT… I TOLD HER WHAT YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE WEARING! A DUSTY SET OF METAL ARMOR! BECAUSE I KNEW, OF COURSE… AFTER SUCH A SUSPICIOUS QUESTION… YOU WOULD OBVIOUSLY CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES! YOU'RE SUCH A SMART COOKIE! THIS WAY YOU'RE SAFE AND I DIDN'T LIE! NO BETRAYAL ANYWHERE! BEING FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE IS EASY!" *CLICK*

Vault Dweller: "… Though it would seem to make sense to change my clothes right now, I'm sure Undyne would notice me no matter what I wear so since this armor offers the best protection right now, I'll just keep it on."

The Vault Dweller continues his quest. He finds another sign. It reads "The power to take their SOULs. This is the power that the humans feared."

The Vault Dweller blinks then proceeds. He comes to a not very detailed bridge in some water. A… tentacle arises out of the water. The Vault Dweller does his best to ignore it and he walks along the bridge. After a few steps it becomes apparent that the tentacles are following him. Suddenly, a giant onion looking monster arises from the water. His face is… kawaii.

?: "Hey… there… Noticed you were… Here… I'm Onionsan! Onionsan, y'here!"

Vault Dweller: "…uh, hi."

The Vault Dweller attempts to walk away but Onionsan follows him. The expression on his face is… kind of disturbing.

Onionsan: "You're visiting Waterfall, huh! It's great here, huh! You love it, huh!"

Vault Dweller: "So that's the name of this marsh part of the underground. Yeah, it's nice."

Onionsan: "Yeah! Me too! It's my Big Favorite."

Still being stalked as he walks…

Onionsan: "Even though, the water's getting so shallow here… I, have to sit down all the time, but… He-hey! That's OK! It beats moving to the city! And living in a crowded aquarium! Like all my friends did!"

At this point the Vault Dweller is feeling extremely uncomfortable. He picks up the pace a bit.

Onionsan: "And the aquarium's full, a-anyway, so, even if I wanted to, I… That's okay though, y'here! Undyne's gonna fix everything, y'here! I'm gonna get out of here and live in the ocean! Y'here!"

Vault Dweller: (Oh thank GOD I think I see the exit!)

Onionsan: "Hey… there… That's the end of this room. I'll see you around! Have a good time! In Waterfalllllllllll-"

Vault Dweller: "okthanksbye." *runs very fast out of the room into the next*

In the next room there is a hole in the ground with a small waterfall going down it. The Vault Dweller then encounters a monster named Shyren despite the fact she is hiding in the corner. The Vault Dweller attempts to talk to her.

Vault Dweller: "Hello there."

Shyren: *bashful* "... ... toot ..."

A message appears on the Vault Dwellers Pip-boy. [Tone deaf. She's too ashamed to sing her deadly song.] The Vault Dwellers expression turns determined. He takes a deep breath and…

Vault Dweller: "Ma~ybe~, you'll~ think of me~"

Shyren: "…When you are a~ll a~lone…"

Shyren seems comfortable with the Vault Dwellers singing.

Vault Dweller: "Give me, a kiss to build a dream on…"

Shyren: "…And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss."

The singing has drawn monsters. Suddenly it's a… concert!? Sans is selling tickets made of… toilet paper. The Vault Dweller looks very confused but Shyren seems to be enjoying herself so…

Vault Dweller: "I don't want to set the wo~rld on fi-re~"

Shyren: "I just want to sta~rt, a flame in your hea~rt."

The seats are sold out! The Vault Dweller and Shyren fell like stars! The crowd tosses clothing. It's a storm of socks. Well don't stop now! Sing another one!

Vault Dweller: "Yippie ya~y,"

Shyren: "There'll be no wedding bell~s for today~"

The constant attention... The tours... The groupies... It's all... Another sold out performance. The curtain raises and… Huh? The Vault Dweller is playing the piano and Shyren is going to say something to the crowd.

Shyren: "War. War never changes. In the year 1945, many human soldiers, serving in the army, wondered when they'd get to go home to their families. They got their wishes when the human nation, the United States of America, ended World War II by dropping atomic bombs on Japanese human cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The World awaited Armageddon; instead, something miraculous happened. They, like us, began to use atomic energy not as a weapon, but as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxuries once thought the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion-powered cars, portable computers. But then, in the 21st century, humans awoke from the so called "American Dream". Years of consumption lead to shortages of every major resource. The entire human world unraveled. Peace… became a distant memory. It was then in the year 2161. The humans stood on the brink of a new total war, and he was afraid. For himself, for his family, and for the good of monster kind. Because if his time on the surface has taught him one thing: it's that war, war never changes."

The Vault Dweller and Shyren have come so far, but it's time. They both have their own journeys to embark on. The Vault Dweller plays a farewell song on the piano and Shyren hums a farewell song.

So after… that, the Vault Dweller reads another sign on the cave wall. "The northern room hides a great treasure." The Vault Dweller goes to the northern room and finds a piano and another sign. "A haunting song echoes down the corridor… Won't you play along?" The Vault Dweller tries multiple keys on the piano but nothing works so he gives up, goes back to the waterfall room and proceeds east. On the cave walls is a bunch of signs.

"This power has no counter. Indeed, a human cannot take a monster's SOUL. When a monster dies, its SOUL disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the SOUL of a living monster. There is only one exception. The SOUL of a special species of monster called a "Boss Monster." A Boss Monster's SOUL is strong enough to persist after death… If only for a few moments. A human could absorb this SOUL. But this has never happened. And now it never will."

The Vault Dweller proceeds on. He finds a stone statue of what looks like a horned monster. It's sitting under a light shining through the ceiling with droplets of water bombarding its head. In the next room is a sign that say "Please take one." next to a bucket of umbrellas. The Vault Dweller has only seen these things in books, but manages to open one. He decides to bring it back to the stone statue. He puts it atop the statue. Inside the statue, a music box begins to play… The Vault Dweller rushes back to the room with the piano in it and replays the tune from the music box on the piano. It works and a secret corridor opens in the room. The Vault Dweller walks inside. In the secret room there is a legendary artifact on a small pedestal. The Vault Dweller attempts to take it… but he's carrying too many dogs-wait what!? A little white dog is fast asleep inside the Vault Dwellers Pip-boy… He decides to drop it. Wait, the dog is… walking around. Ok. Now it's, hey! It's going towards the artifact! It's on the artifact and… it absorbs the artifact!? Hey! Where do you think you're going!? Get back here! … The annoying dog went through the wall and left Dog Residue in the Vault Dwellers inventory.

Vault Dweller: "…Shit."

The Vault Dweller shakes off the anger of this… unfortunate encounter and proceeds back down the eastern corridor. He grabs another umbrella from the bin and proceeds east. After a few steps, it starts raining. How it's raining underground I have no idea. The Vault Dweller is also very confused yet intrigued by this. This is the first time he has experienced rain. After a few steps, a familiar voice catches his attention.

Monster Kid: "Yo, you got an umbrella? Awesome!"

Monster Kid emerges from a small hiding spot in the wall and stands next to the Vault Dwellers underneath the umbrella.

Monster Kid: "Let's go!"

Monster Kid joined the Vault Dweller.

The two walk for a bit then Monster Kid speaks.

Monster Kid: "Man, Undyne is sooooooo cool. She beats up bad guys and NEVER loses. If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night… knowing she was gonna beat me up! Ha ha."

Vault Dweller: *gulp*

They walk a little more and Monster Kid gets distracted by an echo flower and speaks again.

Monster Kid: "So, one time. We had a school project where we had to take care of a flower. The king – we had to call him "Mr. Dreemurr" – volunteered to donate his own flowers. He ended up coming to school and teaching the class about responsibility and stuff. That got me thinking… YO! How COOL would it be if UNDYNE came to school!? She could beat up ALL the teachers!"

Vault Dweller: "…"

Walks a few meters and, you guessed it.

Monster Kid: "Ummm, maybe she wouldn't beat up the teachers… She's too cool to ever hurt an innocent person!"

Vault Dweller: *deep breath*

The Vault Dweller and Monster Kid make it out of the rain into a vast wide open space. It is very dark. The air is still and silent. The stones on the ceiling looks just like stars. There is a huge castle in the distance. Monster Kid rushes ahead a little and stops to stare at the castle. The Vault Dweller stops right next to him and also stares at the castle. The both stare in awe for a few moments. The Vault Dwellers mind races with thoughts. That castle… that must be the Capital. Where the exit to the surface is. Where most of the monsters live. Where the king of all monsters lives. Asgore…

Monster Kid: "Yo, what's up?"

Vault Dweller: "Nothing. It's just… never mind. Let's keep moving."

The Vault Dweller and Monster Kid continue moving across the field and eventually reach another corridor. The Vault Dweller finds another bin full of umbrellas and returns the one he borrowed. There is a ledge blocking the Vault Dweller's progress.

Monster Kid: "Yo, this ledge is way too steep… Yo, you wanna see Undyne, right…?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes. [Lie]"

Monster Kid: "Climb on my shoulders."

The Vault Dweller climbs on Monster Kids "shoulders" and makes it up the ledge.

Monster Kid: "Yo, you go on ahead. Don't worry about me. I always find a way to get through!"

Monster Kid runs, falls on his face and then runs off screen. The Vault Dweller continues. He finds another room with more signs on the cave wall and a save point. (The serene sound of a distant music box… It fills you with determination.)

"The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us. They attacked suddenly, and without mercy. In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single SOUL was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust…"

The Vault Dwellers felt his heart drop. He gathers his composure again and continues on. He walks on a bridge with another bridge below it. Suddenly… light blue lights on the bridge appear all around the Vault Dweller and spears come out from under the bridge! Undyne appears on the bridge under the Vault Dweller! The Vault Dweller runs as fast as he can and Undyne chases him, sending up more spears from below. The Vault Dweller manages to avoid most of the spears, only taking a few hits. The bridge is almost maze like. The Vault Dweller has a rough time finding the right way, but eventually he finds the correct path and… oh no. Dead end.

Vault Dweller: (shitshitshit)

The Vault Dweller is cornered. Undyne approaches slowly. The Vault Dweller pulls out the MP5 and points it at Undyne.

Vault Dweller: "Stay back! Don't come any closer or I'll shoot!"

Undyne stops. She summons a bunch of spears and hurls them at the Vault Dweller. He shoots the spears, deflecting them. They hit the bridge instead and the bridge breaks. The Vault Dweller falls into the abyss below…


	5. Chapter 5: Wasteland Justice in Eden

Chapter 5: Wasteland Justice in Eden

It sounds like it came from over here… Oh! You've fallen down, haven't you… Are you okay? Here, get up… … Razor, huh? That's a nice name. My name is

The Vault Dweller awakens on a bed of golden flowers.

Vault Dweller: "…huh? What?" *gets up* "I survived… Undyne!" *looks around franticly but doesn't find anyone* "Guess I gave her the slip. Where am I?"

The Vault Dweller finds himself at the bottom of Waterfall. The water is very shallow. He walks for a little bit and finds piles of garbage. There are quite a few brands he recognizes. Empty Nuka Cola and alcohol bottles litter the waters. The Geiger counter on the Vault Dwellers Pip-boy starts to go off so he moves along. He finds a save point on a dry plank of wood at the base of a waterfall with trash around it. (The waterfall here seems to flow from the ceiling of the cavern… Occasionally, a piece of trash will flow through… and fall into the bottomless abyss below. Viewing this endless cycle of worthless garbage… It fills you with determination.) After saving, the Vault Dweller proceeds and finds more garbage. He finds a rusted bike. Its horn wheezes a honk of despair. More piles of bottles but these ones are for something called "Sunset Sarsaparilla". Some of the bottle caps have blue stars in them. A beat-up terminal. The inside is empty. A cooler with no brand, and shows no sign of wear… Inside are a couple of Fancy Lads Snack Cakes. The Vault Dweller takes one. There is a DVD case for the anime "Madoka Magica Rebirth of the Batter" with desperate claw marks covering the edges. There is also regular training dummy here. The Vault Dweller decides not to beat it up so the two stare into each other's eyes for a moment… Now that the Vault Dweller is done rummaging through trash, he continues… why is the screen going towards the-OH MY GOD! The dummys eyes turned angry! He disappears into the water and reappears floating in front of the Vault Dweller!

Mad Dummy: "Hahaha… Too intimidated to fight me, huh!? I am a ghost that lives inside a DUMMY. My cousin used to live inside a DUMMY, too. Until… YOU CAME ALONG! When you talked to them, they thought they were in for a nice chat… But the things you SAID…! Horrible. Shocking! UNBELIEVABLE! It spooked them right out of their dummy! HUMAN! I'll scare your SOUL out of your FUCKING body!

It's a FIGHT! Mad Dummy blocks the way! The Vault Dweller attempts to talk to the Mad Dummy.

Vault Dweller: "All I said to them was 'Hello.'"

… It doesn't seem much for conversation. No one is happy with this.

Mad Dummy: "Feeble. Feeble! FEEBLE!"

A bunch of smaller dummies come out of nowhere and shoot scribbles of some kind at the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller manages to avoid them.

The Vault Dweller checks the Mad Dummy. MAD DUMMY 7 ATK -40 DEF. Because they're a ghost, physical attacks will fail.

Mad Dummy: "I'll defeat you and take your SOUL!"

The smaller dummies shoot more scribbles and the Vault Dweller avoids them. This time some of the scribbles hit the Mad Dummy.

Mad Dummy: "OWWWW, you fucking DUMMIES! Watch where you're aiming your MAGIC attacks! … Hey! You! Forget I said anything about MAGIC!"

Vault Dweller: "Gotcha."

The Vault Dweller continues the using the smaller dummies attacks against the Mad Dummy. As the battle goes on, the Mad Dummy monologues.

Mad Dummy: "I'll defeat you and take your SOUL! I'll use your soul to cross the barrier! I'll stand in the window of a fancy store! THEN EVERYTHING I WANT WILL BE MINE!"

Vault Dweller: "And what about your cousin?"

Mad Dummy: "Huh? Yeah, I guess then I'll avenge my cousin. What was their name again...? Whatever. Whatever! WHATEVER!"

After a few rounds of getting hit with magic from his own dummies.

Mad Dummy: "HEY GUYS!" *the smaller dummies all appear* "Dummies. Dummies! GOD DAMN DUMMIES! Remember how I said NOT to shoot at me? Well... FAILURES! YOU'RE ALL FIRED! YOU'RE ALL BEING REPLACED! Hahaha. Hahaha! HAHAHA! Now you'll see my true power: Relying on people that aren't garbage!"

Mechanical whirrs fill the room.

Mad Dummy: "DUMMY BOTS! MAGIC MISSILE!"

Dummy bots shoot magic missiles at the Vault Dweller but he avoids them too. He goes a few rounds with them and the missiles end up hitting the Mad Dummy.

Mad Dummy: "DUMMY BOTS! TRY AGAIN! DUMMY BOTS! You're awful? DUMMY BOTS! FINAL ATTACK!"

Oddly enough, the smaller dummies return and kamikaze themselves at the Vault Dweller while dummy bots shoot missiles at him. Then, all the dummy bots launch one final barrage of missiles at the Vault Dweller. They miss.

Mad Dummy: "(N... no way!) (These guys are even WORSE than the other guys!) Who cares. Who cares! WHO FUCKING CARES! I DON'T NEED FRIENDS! I'VE GOT KNIVES!"

The Mad Dummy hurls one knife at the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller dodges it… very easily.

Mad Dummy: "I'm... Out of knives. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU CAN'T HURT ME AND I CAN'T HURT YOU! YOU'LL BE STUCK FIGHTING ME... Forever. Forever! FOREVER! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

Tears begin falling from the sky and they hit the Mad Dummy.

Mad Dummy: "Ergh! Acid rain?! Oh, FUCK IT! I'm outta here!"

A familiar ghost appears on screen.

Napstablook: "…sorry, i interrupted you, didn't i? as soon as I came over, your friend immediately left... oh no... you guys looked like you were having fun... oh no... I just wanted to say hi..."

Vault Dweller: "Are you kidding me? You just saved my life! Thank you!"

Napstablook: "oh no..."

The FIGHT ends.

Napstablook: "well… i'm going to head home now… oh… um… feel free to "come with" if you want… but no pressure… i understand if you're busy… it's fine… no worries… just thought i'd offer…" *floats away*

The Vault Dweller gets out of the garbage water onto dry land again and proceeds to the next room. It is a quiet area and Napstablook is floating above a save point.

Napstablook: "hey… my house is up here… in case you want to see… or in case… you don't…" *floats away*

(You feel a calming tranquility. You're filled with determination…) The Vault Dweller proceeds upward and finds two ghost shaped houses. One is bluish grey and the other is a dull pink. They both lean away from each other. The Vault Dweller walks into the bluish grey one. Inside is a bit run down with a few cracks on the wall and holes in the floor but is still way better than any house you would find in the wastelands. Napstablook is in front of a computer wearing headphones. The big bulky kind. The only other things in the house are a television that looks like one the Vault Dweller is familiar with, a refrigerator and three holotape players on the ground. There is also a spider wed in the corner. Napstablook notices the Vault Dweller walk in.

Napstablook: [!] "oh… you really came… sorry, i… wasn't expecting that. it's not much, but make yourself at home."

The Vault Dweller looks at the holotape players. The first holotape is labelled "Spooktunes." The Vault Dweller pushes play. A spooky yet monotone tune begins to play. The second holotape is labelled "Spookwave." The Vault Dweller pushes play. Oddly, the first holotape player stops as the second one begins to play. This one sounds like the first one but is more ambient. The third holotape is labelled "Ghouliday Music." The Vault Dweller pushes play, the second holotape player stops and this one begins to play. The song is a spooky remix of Jingle Bells, and this one has vocals. The singers' voice sounds very hoarse yet has a slight southern drawl. He also coughs a lot throughout the song.

Vault Dweller: "Hey Napstabook, who sung this song?"

Napstablook: "oh, i… didn't get his name… all i remember about him is he had green skin and a… tree… growing out of his head…"

Vault Dweller: "So you composed these songs?"

Napstablook: "…yes…"

Vault Dweller: *smiles* "I like them."

Napstablook: *fades slightly* "…thanks…"

The Vault Dweller then notices the spider wed in the corner. There's a flyer for a bake sale on it. To think the Vault Dwellers canteen is still filled with that cider he bought so long ago. The Vault Dweller goes over to the TV.

Napstablook: "oh… that's my tv… there's a show i like to watch on it… sometimes…"

The Vault Dweller walks over to the fridge.

Napstablook: "oh… are you hungry…"

Vault Dweller: *stomach growls loudly* "Yeah, I'm starving."

Napstablook: "i can get you something to eat…" *floats over to the bridge and pulls something out without opening the door* "this is a ghost sandwich… do you want to try it…" *holds the ghost sandwich in front of the Vault Dweller*

Vault Dweller: "Guess I've lived a full life."

The Vault Dweller attempts to bite into the ghost sandwich. He phases right through it…

Vault Dweller: "…my life is a joke…"

Napstablook: "oh… nevermind…"

Silence…

Napstablook: "after a great meal i like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage… it's a family tradition… do you want… to join me…"

Vault Dweller: *still starving* "…sure."

Napstablook: "okay… follow my lead…"

Napstablook and the Vault Dweller lie down in the center of the house.

Napstablook: "here we go… you'll lie down as long as you don't move. so… only move around when you want to get up, i guess."

Napstablook and the Vault Dweller stay on the ground for some time and… what is going on right now!? Why… why is the… the room… it's in space…

Vault Dweller: (War… War never changes… but do they mean anything? We are just one infinitesimal planet in an infinite universe… humans… monsters… SOULS… me… does my journey even mean anything? Escape or not, I'll still be on this planet… a planet that died long ago… but, could the will of the entire cosmos be wielded by a single individual? Can creation exist without existence…? Is their point without pointlessness? What is reality? What is… Fallout Undertale?) *gets up suddenly* "GAH!"

The room returns to normal.

Napstablook: *gets up* "well, that was nice… thank you…"

The Vault Dweller gives a crazy confused look then slaps himself, returning his face to normal. He thanks Napstablook for the visit and leaves. He walks to the right of the houses and finds a snail farm. For some reason, he can't help but wonder what it tastes like… One of the snails speaks to the Vault Dweller.

Big-Nosed Mustached Snail: "Snail snail… (A long journey extends in front of you…) Snail snail… (Reach far and stretch beyond the horizons.) Snail snail. (So snaileth Sam Byool.)"

Vault Dweller: "Why am I getting so many cryptic messages now?"

The snail ignores him so he goes to the front of the farm and finds Napstablook still wearing his headphones.

Napstablook: "awkward… i'm working right now… i mean… welcome to blook family snail farm… yeah. i'm the only employee. this place used to get a lot of business… but our main customer disappeared one day… now it's just some hairy guy that shows up once a month…"

The Vault Dwellers heart drops and skips a beat at the same time. After this he sets a snail on fire and regrets not betting on the rock then leaves. The Vault Dweller continues his journey to the capital. He walks to the next room and finds a hole in the cave with a sign above it. He walks inside and finds a turtle man wearing archeologist gear. The cave itself is filled with shinny stones and crystals and that strange winded circle with three triangles below it is on the wall.

Gerson: "Woah there! I've got some neat junk for sale."

Vault Dweller: "Willing to trade?"

Gerson: "Ha! I'm trying to get RID of my junk, not get more of it! Though, I've heard if you want to sell stuff, the Temmie Village is your best bet."

Vault Dweller: "Temmie Village? Where's that?

Gerson: "Where is it? ... I don't remember."

Vault Dweller: "So, you won't buy my stuff?"

Gerson: "For the last time, I'm not taking it!"

Vault Dweller: "Fine, show me what you have for sale."

Gerson: "What are you lookin for?"

The Vault Dweller peruses Gersons wears for a second but his attention is immediately caught by a suit of… dark blue power armor?

Vault Dweller: "What's that?" *points at the power armor(?)*

Gerson: "This? As far as I can tell it's some kind of armor, but I ain't seen any armor like it before. It doesn't fit me at all and it has this weird symbol on it, but I have no idea what it means."

The Vault Dweller brushes some dust off the suit and discovers something he was not prepared to see. The symbol is a circle with a dot in the center and three lines protruding out of both sides with the longest being the middle one. That's right, Vault Tec. The Vault Dweller pulls his hand away.

Vault Dweller: "Vault Tec made power armor?"

Gerson: "You seem pretty familiar with this suit. Tell ya what. I'll give it to ya for… 30 golden caps."

Vault Dweller: *notices the power fist* "I'll give you another 55 if you throw in the power fist."

Gerson: "Sold!"

Vault Dweller hands over 85 GBC and obtains the Vault Tec Power Armor set. Set?

Gerson: "Thanks! Wa ha ha."

The Vault Dweller equips the Vault Tec power armor but has some trouble putting it on. For some reason, it seems to come in parts. He puts on the boots first, then the body armor, then the gauntlets and finally the helmet. He also puts the fist on. He talks to Gerson again.

Gerson: "Anything else you wanna know?"

Vault Dweller: "Tell me about yourself."

Gerson: "I've been around a long time. Maybe too long. Studying history sure is easy when you've lived through so much of it yourself! Wa ha ha!"

Vault Dweller: "I've got to ask, what is that emblem?" *points at the winged circle with three triangles under it*

Gerson: "Eh? You don't know what that is? Already forget what they taught ya in school now? Wa ha ha! That's the Delta Rune, the emblem of our kingdom. The Kingdom... Of Monsters. Wahaha! Great name, huh? It's as I always say... Ol' King Fluffybuns can't name for beans!"

Vault Dweller: "What does it mean?"

Gerson: "That emblem actually predates written history. The original meaning has been lost to time... All we know is that the triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the winged circle above symbolizes... Somethin' else. Most people say it's the 'angel,' from the prophecy..."

Vault Dweller: "Prophecy? What does the prophecy say?"

Gerson: "Oh yeah... The prophecy. Legend has it, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. Lately, the people have been taking a bleaker outlook... Callin' that circle the 'Angel of Death.' A harbinger of destruction, waitin' to 'free' us from this mortal realm... In my opinion, when I see that little circle... I jus' think it looks neat! Wahaha!"

Vault Dweller: "Angel… I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

Gerson: "What's that? You want me to repeat myself? Heck no! Your eyes still work... Go read a book or something! Wahaha!"

Vault Dweller: "I… eh, fair enough. Hmmm, you said you're pretty old… what can you tell me about… the King?

Gerson: "King Fluffybuns? He's a friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of guy... If you keep walking around long enough, you'll probably meet him. He loves to walk around and talk to people."

Vault Dweller: "Why do you keep calling hum 'Fluffybuns'?"

Gerson: "Eh? Why do I call Dreemurr 'Fluffybuns?' Oh, that's a great story! ... I don't remember it. But if you come back much later, I'm sure I'll have remembered by then."

The Vault Dweller is confused by this but still feels uneasy thinking about meeting the king. They say the king is nice but… Undyne!

Vault Dweller: "What can you tell me about Undyne?"

Gerson: "Undyne? Yeah, she's a local hero around here. Through grit and determination alone, she fought her way to the top of the Royal Guard. Actually, she just came through here asking about someone who looked just like you... I'd watch your back, kid. And buy some more items... It might just save your hide! Wa ha ha!"

Vault Dweller: *gulps even though he's dressed in power armor with a power fist equipped* "Well, I better get going."

Gerson: "Be careful out there, kid!"

The Vault Dweller exits Gersons cave and continues east. He enters a corridor with the most beautiful music echoing throughout the halls. There are more signs on the wall.

"Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful SOUL can leave. There is only one way to reverse this spell. If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier… It will be destroyed. But this cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever."

The Vault Dweller is worried for a moment at the last few sentences but dismisses them after rationalizing them for a second. These signs are ancient. The bombs must have opened a hole in the mountain during the war, that's why he's finding all this post-war stuff lying around and in shops. The Vault Dweller proceeds and finds a new path, but can only see it by way of glowing grass. He finds a glowing green mushroom and touches it. It turns bright blue and more grass lights the way. The Vault Dweller follows the path. He finds more mushrooms and illuminates more paths. Along the way… the Vault Dweller encounters an enemy!

Special enemy Raider Temmie appears here to defeat you! It's a, well, the best way I can describe Temmies appearance is a cat with human hair, cat ears on top and dog ears on the side of her head. She is constantly shaking and is wearing a torn up yet clean shirt with a cardboard box over her arm. She also has her hair in a makeshift Mohawk. The Vault Dweller tries to talk to her.

Vault Dweller: "Uhhh… hello?"

Raider Temmie: "hOI! i'm rAIDER tEMMIE! i aTTACK U! I bAD gURL!"

Raider Temmie extends her hand and it keeps extending until it reaches the Vault Dwellers soul. She gives one little touch then her arm quickly retracts back to its small size. It does very minimal damage.

Raider Temmie: "hA hA hA! gOT u! bOI!"

Raider Temmie runs away. The Vault Dweller… won? Anyways, the encounter ends and the Vault Dweller proceeds on his journey. He gets lost and ends up finding something… interesting. He finds a massive Vault Door! Made of cardboard. It has a big letter T drawn on it. He pushes the "door" open and walks inside. After walking through a very small corridor, the Vault Dweller finds a bunch of Temmies! But they don't look like raiders. The Vault Dweller reads the welcome sign.

"hOI! welcom to… VAULT TEM!"

The Vault Dweller finds four Temmies and decides to talk to them. The first Temmie is wearing a Vault Suit with the letter T on it.

Vault Temmie: "hOI! im vault temmie! and dis is my friend… temmian!

The second Temmie is wearing a leather jacket and holding a 10mm water gun.

Temmian: "hOI! im temmian! and dis is my friend… tematja!"

The third temmie is also wearing a leather jacket but has green hair in a makeshift Mohawk and is carrying a stick.

Tematja: "hOI! im tematja! don forget my firend!"

The fourth Temmie is wearing leather armor with the words "Dessert Ranger" written on the back. She's carrying two pipes that are being held together with string.

Tycho: "Hi. I'm Tycho."

There is a picture behind the four Temmies. On it is a Temmie wearing the T vault jumpsuit with her back to the viewer, walking off into the caves… The Vault Dweller is slightly disturbed and paranoid at this point but decides not to think about it… much. He finds two signs next to a small cave with a sign with a big exclamation point on it. First sign.

"hOI! u shud check out… TEM SHOP!"

Second one.

"yaYA! i AGREES! shud check… TEM SHOP!"

The Vault Dweller finds another Temmie. This one is wearing a purple robe.

Temmie of the Cathedral: "awawawawah! humans… such a… CUTE!"

Another Temmie is found. This one is wearing a lab coat with circled crosses on the shoulders and is standing next to an egg.

Temmie of the Apocalypse: "tem… WATCH EGG! eg… wil HATCH! tem… PROUD PARENT!"

There is a huge Temmie statue. On the pedestal it says TEM but there is also a plaque that reads "Statue of tem… very famus VERY!" There is a hole in the wall… the Vault Dweller gets the feeling of being watched. Oddly, the Vault Dweller finds a mushroom in the center of the town with a face on it. He talks to it.

Ragel: *starts dancing* "Mushroom dance Mushroom dance Whatever could it mean" *stops dancing and cap opens, revealing two big blue eyes* "It symbolizes my inner torment, trapped here by my hyphae. My struggle to pull away, my struggle to escape. But alas, to no avail." *pulls cap back down*

The Vault Dwellers eye twitches. The last Temmie in the room is wearing a Tem-sized suit of T-51b Power Armor.

SOT Temmie: "p… tem heard outsidr allergics to tem… dat OK… tem understan… tem… ALSO allergic to tem!" *face begins to swell with red hives*

Vault Dweller: "[Medicine 50/50] [Makeshift Buffout] [Stimpak] Hold still, this will only take a second." *uses the Makeshift Buffout and Stimpak on SOT Temmie*

SOT Temmie: *swelling reduces and hives disappear* "haaaaa! THANKS u, outsidr! Tem REWARDS u! I grants u… titl of PALIDN! Welcom to da SISTAHOOD OF TEM!" *gives the Vault Dweller 10 GBC*

Vault Dweller: "Um, your welcome… thanks."

The Vault Dweller finds a save point in the center of the "Vault". (You feel... something. You're filled with detemmienation.) After saving the Vault Dweller proceeds into the cave with the ! sign above it. Inside there is a Temmie dressed in a roving trader outfir sitting in a box with the words "TEM SHOP" painted on it. The cave looks more like traders hut more than anything.

Trader Temmie: "hOI! welcom to... da TEM SHOP!"

Vault Dweller: "Hello."

Trader Temmie: "hOI! i'm trader temmie"

Vault Dweller: "Tell me about yourself."

Trader Temmie: "hOI! i'm trader temmie"

Vault Dweller: "Eh… ok. What can you tell me about this places history?"

Trader Temmie: "us tems have a deep history!"

Vault Dweller: "… and this shop?"

Trader Temmie: "yaYA! go to TEM SHOP!"

Vault Dweller: "… Never mind. Lets trade."

The Vault Dweller pulls out a Nuka Cola.

Trader Temmie: "WOA! u gota... nuka colas! hnnn... I gota have dat nuka colas... but I gota pay for colleg, hnnnn...! tem always wanna nuka colas!...! wats say i gives… 10GBC?"

Vault Dweller: "[Barter 1/1] No deal."

Trader Temmie: "b...but...p! How bout 15GBC?"

Vault Dweller: "Nope."

Trader Temmie: "You will regret this."

Vault Dweller: (uh oh.)

The Vault Dweller notices an option that says "tem pay 4 colleg" at the price of 1000GBC. For some reason, hey pays for it.

Trader Temmie: "WOA! thas ALOT o muns... can tem realy acepts..."

Vault Dweller: *nods*

Trader Temmie: "OKs! tem go to colleg and make u prouds!" *walks away leaving her… face… floating in the air… then (thankfully) comes back wearing scholar robes* "tem bak from cool leg, tem learn MANY THINs, learn to sell new ITEM! yayA!"

Vault Dweller: "What is this new item?"

Trader Temmie: "tem armor so GOOds! any battle becom! a EASY victories! but, hnn, tem think... if u use armors, battles wouldn b a challenge anymores, but tem... have a solushun! tem will offer... A SKOLARSHIPS! if you lose a lot of battles, tem wil LOWER THE PRICE! so if you get to TOUGH BATTLE and feel FRUSTRATE, can buy TEM armor as last resort! but tem armor so goods, promise to only buy if you really needs it"

The Temmie Armor is 9999GBC. The Vault Dweller decides not to buy. He manages to sell his dog residue to Trader Temmie and decides to leave.

Trader Temmie: "bOI!"

The Vault Dweller exits Vault Tem and continues on his journey. He finds another room with luminous grass and a bunch of large glowing purple crystals. There is also a sign on the wall.

"Without candles or magic to guide them Home, the monsters used crystals to navigate."

The Vault Dweller walks through the room and the crystals begin to dim. The Vault Dweller finds small lanterns (at least I think they're lanterns) around that re-brighten the crystals for a short time. He manages to make it through the room with little problem after remembering that he has a light on his Pip-Boy. In the next corridor, there are no crystals, so as he gets farther away from the last room, the corridor gets darker and darker. The Vault Dweller for a bit through some water and finds dry land and an echo flower at the end of the room.

?(Echo Flower): "Behind you."

The room brightens. The Vault Dweller turns around. Undyne has cornered him. The Vault Dweller takes a fighting stance and Undyne slowly approaches. She stops after a few steps and begins to speak.

Undyne: "… Seven. Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king… King ASGORE Dreemurr… will become a god. With that power, ASGORE can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the surface back from humanity… And give them back the suffering and pain that we endured. … Understand, human? This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your soul… Or I'll tear it from your body."

Vault Dweller: "You're the one that doesn't understand. The surface has died long ago. Humanity is in ruins. Your crusade is pointless."

Undyne: "SILENCE!"

Undyne takes a charging stance, summons a spear and charges at the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller readies his power fist. But just before the FIGHT is about to begin, Monster kid jumps out of some grass on the wall right in between the two, and both immediately stop.

Monster Kid: "Undyne! I'll help you fight!" *looks back and forth between Undyne and the Vault Dweller multiple times and stops, facing the Vault Dweller* "YO! You did it! Undyne is RIGHT in front of you! You've got front row seats to her fight!" *looks around* "… wait. Who's she fighting?"

Undyne de-summons her spear, grabs Monster Kid by his face and drags him away.

Monster Kid: "H-hey! You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?"

The Vault Dweller sighs in relief and goes back to his normal standing position. He finds an alternate path in light up with luminous grass and heads north. The Vault Dweller discovers another corridor filled with waist high water and more echo flowers playing the beautiful music. There are yellow lights dancing in the air. Some of them are echoing a passing conversation and the Vault Dweller hears it as he walks.

?(Echo Flower): "… hmmm… if I say my wish… You promise you won't laugh at me?"

?(Echo Flower): "Of course I won't laugh!"

?(Echo Flower): "Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking at the world all around… That's my wish."

?(Echo Flower): *laughter* "… hey, you said you wouldn't laugh at it!"

?(Echo Flower): "Sorry, it's just funny… That's my wish too."

The Vault Dweller thinks about the first time he saw the stars. There is a sign at the end of the waterway.

"However… there is a prophecy. The Angel… The One Who Has Seen The Surface… They will return. And the underground will go empty."

The Vault Dweller clenches his fists. He continues on dry land to the east and finds a bridge in the cavern. There is a piece of cave in the center that is holding the bridge up along with various support beams. There are no support rails so he walks carefully. About three quarters of the way across the bridge, a familiar voice stops the Vault Dweller.

Monster Kid: "Yo!" *walks to the Vault Dweller and stops in front of him* "Yo, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but… I wanna ask you something. … Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before… Umm… Yo… You're human, right? Haha."

Vault Dweller: "Since the day I was born."

Monster Kid: "Man! I knew it! … well, I know it now, I mean… Undyne told me, um, 'stay away from that human.' So, like ummm… I guess that makes us enemies or something. But I kinda stink at that, haha. Yo, say something mean so I can hate you? Please?"

Vault Dweller: "It would be very un-American of me to straight up insult a child."

Monster Kid: "Yo, what? So I have to do it? Here goes nothing… Yo, I… I hate your guts. … Man, I… I'm such a turd. I'm… I'm gonna go home now."

Monster Kid backs up a little then runs across the bridge but halfway across he trips and falls of the side! But he manages to grab and hold on to the bridge with his mouth!

Monster Kid: "Yo, w-w-wait! Help! I tripped!"

Undyne walks onto the bridge and sees Monster Kid hanging onto the side of the bridge. Without hesitation, the Vault Dweller rushes over to Monster Kid and picks him up safely back onto the bridge.

Monster Kid: *standing in between Undyne and the Vault Dweller facing Undyne* "Y… y… yo… dude… If… If y-you wanna hurt my friend… You're gonna have to get through me, first."

Undyne backs away then walks off.

Vault Dweller: "Are you ok?"

Monster Kid: "Y-yeah. She's gone. You really saved my skin. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We'll just have to be friends instead. … man, I should REALLY go home… I bet my parents are worried sick about me!" *walks slightly across the bridge then turns to the Vault Dweller* "Later, dude!" *runs away*

Vault Dweller: "Say on your feet… dude."

The Vault Dweller continues. He reaches a small jagged mountain with a hole leading inside it and at the top, stands Undyne without her helmet. She is looking over a vast red sky with huge machinery in the distance.

Undyne: "Seven. Seven human souls, and King ASGORE will become a god." *Turns around slightly* "Six. That's how many we have collected thus far." *Faces the Vault Dweller* "Understand? Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed." *Faces slightly away* "First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far… I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people. It all started, long ago…" *Silence* "… No, you know what? FUCK IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT STORY! WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE!? NGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *removes her helmet, revealing a blue fish woman with red hair and she activates her armor, revealing it to actually be Advanced Power Armor! She turns her head slightly and glares at the Vault Dweller with one bright yellow eye. She turns around fully and reveals an eyepatch over her left eye.* "YOU! You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphy's history books made me think humans were cool… with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen. BUT YOU? You're just a coward! Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-schtick! Oooh! I'm making such a difference by hugging random strangers! You know what would be more valuable to everyone? IF YOU WERE DEAD! That's right, human! Your continued existence is a crime! Your life is what stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together! Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment! But we're not nervous at all. When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose! Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now. I'll show you how determined monsters can be! Step forward when you're ready! Fuhuhuhu!"

A save point appears next to the Vault Dweller. (The wind is howling. You're filled with determination…) The Vault Dweller knows that he cannot reason with Undyne. He braces himself and steps forward.

Undyne: "That's it, then…! No more running away! HERE I COME!"

Undyne drops down at the Vault Dweller with her spear! The Vault Dweller catches the spear with his power fist and deflects her first attack but the magical and physical force of the attack causes the power fist to break! The Vault Dweller is weapon-less, but holds his ground. The FIGHT begins and Undyne turns the Vault Dwellers SOUL green! He can't move!

Undyne: "En guarde!"

Undyne attacks! The Vault Dweller decides to plead one last time.

Vault Dweller: "Undyne, you have to listen to me! You don't know what's up there! It's a cruel, dead world populated by sin! Do you really think the monsters would want to live in that world?"

Undyne: "I won't listen to your pathetic fucking lies any longer! As long as you're GREEN you CAN'T ESCAPE! Unless you learn to face danger head-on… You won't last a SECOND against ME!"

Undyne unleashes a barrage of smaller spears at the Vault Dweller, but just before the Vault Dweller takes the hits, the Spear he picked up from the ruins comes out of his Pip-Boy and deflects Undynes spears!

Undyne: "W-WHAT THE HELL!?"

Vault Dweller: *picks up the spear* "You can't knock me down, Undyne. Not as long as I stand in the Garden of Eden!"

Undyne: "Not bad! Then how about THIS!?"

Undyne releases another barrage, this time the spears fly much faster but the Vault Dweller uses his spear to deflect them with his Agility and Perception. As the fight goes on Undyne continues her spear barrages while suplexing huge boulders, just because she can all while monologuing.

Undyne: "For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending... And now, sunlight is just within our reach! I won't let you snatch it away from us! NGAHHH! Enough warming up!"

Undyne unleashes a massive barrage of spears from all angles then swipes the green off the Vault Dwellers SOUL and launches a blue spear at him. Seeing his chance, the Vault Dweller flees.

Vault Dweller: "Sorry Undyne, I've got better things to do."

The FIGHT ends and the Vault Dweller makes a break for the cave entrance, catching Undyne off guard. The Vault Dweller runs across a land bridge above some water with huge chunks of ice floating in it and reaches another corridor. This one has a huge sign on the wall with a message spelled out in lights scrolling across saying "WELCOME TO HOTLAND!" But Undyne catches up with the Vault Dweller and trips him with her spear. He gets back on his feet and draws his spear.

Undyne: "You won't get away from me this time!"

Vault Dweller: "Undyne, you don't want to do this! Accept my MERCY and we can both walk away from this."

Undyne: "Mercy! Ha! I still can't believe YOU want to spare ME! DIE!"

Undyne and The Vault Dweller engage in spear to spear combat! Undyne thrusts, swipes and even uses multiple spears but the Vault Dweller blocks them all. He manages to push her away for a second and she speak again.

Undyne: "Honestly, I'm doing you a favor... No human has EVER made it past ASGORE! Honestly, killing you now is an act of mercy...! ...So STOP being so damn resilient!"

Undyne attacks again. This time the Vault Dweller uses his agility to his advantage and dodges Undynes attacks while slowly moving backwards. In the middle of the battle, the Vault Dweller gets a phone call.

Vault Dweller: "Yeah!?"

PAPYRUS: "HEY! WHAT'S UP!? I WAS JUST THINKIG… YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOME TIME! I THINK YOU WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS! LET'S MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER!"

Vault Dweller: *holding back Undynes spear swing with his spear* "Yeah, I think we'd get along just peachy." *click*

Undyne: "What the hell are humans made out of!? Anyone else would be DEAD by now! Alphys told me humans were determined... I see now what she meant by that! But I'm determined, too! Determined to end this RIGHT NOW!"

Undyne sends an onslaught of spears, big and small. The Vault Dweller gathers up all his Agility and Perception and ends up going into a Matrix/F.E.A.R style slow motion while doing multiple backflips to dodge the sheer number of spears. Undynes expression turns seriously surprised and seriously pissed. After dodging all the spears, the Vault Dweller finds himself in a very hot place. Sans is sleeping in a station and the Vault Dweller rushes over and franticly tries to wake him up by banging his hands on the stations counter.

Vault Dweller: "SANSWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKETHEFUCKUP!" *sees Undyne charging after him* "OH SHIT!" *runs*

The Vault Dweller runs across a suspension bridge over a pit of lava! Undyne stops and examines Sans and his station then proceeds to chase the Vault Dweller across the bridge. The Vault Dweller makes it across the bridge. Undyne almost makes it across but begins to slow down.

Undyne: "Power… Armor… so… hot… But I can't… Give up…" *tries to grab the Vault Dweller but collapses on the bridge*

Even though she tried to murder him, the Vault Dweller shows legitimate concern.

Vault Dweller: "Undyne!" *looks around for a way to help Undyne and spots a water cooler. He takes a cup of cold water and pours it on Undyne and her armor*

Undyne shakes for a second and then gets up. She's cooled down and able to move again. She stares at the Vault Dweller for a second, looks around, stares at him again then walks away. The Vault Dweller lets out a heavy sigh of relief and collapses next to the water cooler. He takes a cup of cold water and drinks it. Out of Eden and into the Inferno, the Vault Dwellers journey will continue in the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6: Not as a Weapon

Chapter 6: Not as a Weapon

The Vault Dweller continues on his journey with a cup of water in his hands. After a few steps the water evaporates from the heat. The cup evaporated, too. The Vault Dweller stands at the entrance of a large laboratory. It looms over him, impressive in size and structure. Save point. (Seeing such a strange laboratory in a place like this… You're filled with determination.) There are two monsters wearing Hellfire Power Armor blocking a passage to the north. Before the Vault Dweller goes inside the laboratory, he remembers the call he had with Papyrus when he was dueling with Undyne. He decides to go visit Undyne and rub his victory in her face. He walks south where he finds a hooded figure on a small boat on a stretch of water. The Vault Dweller speaks to them.

River Person: "Tra la la. I am the riverman. Or am I the riverwoman…? It doesn't really matter. I love to ride in my boat. Would you care to join me?"

Vault Dweller: "Sure."

River Person: "Where will we go today?"

Vault Dweller: "Waterfall."

River Person: "Then we're off…"

The Vault Dweller gets on the boat and they begin cruising along the water. While cruising, he fixes the power fist.

River Person: "Tra la la. The Master Lives."

Vault Dweller: "Wait, what?"

The boat stops at Waterfall.

River Person: "Come again some time. Tra la la."

The Vault Dweller gets off and finds himself at the crossroads near Napstablooks house. It's at this point he realizes that he has no idea where Undynes house is. He spends a good ten minutes wondering aimlessly until he finally finds Papyrus standing in front of a really pissed off fish looking house.

PAPYRUS: "OHO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE? I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!"

Vault Dweller: "Alright, let's do this."

PAPYRUS: "OKAY! STAND BEHIND ME!" *TURNS AROUND AND WHISPERS TO THE VAULT DWELLER OVER HIS SHOULDER* "PSST. MAKE SURE TO GIVE HER THIS!" *PULLS OUT A YELLOW BONE CHEW TOY WITH A BOW ON IT* "SHE LOVES THESE!" *HIDES IT AND KNOCKS ON THE TEETH DOOR*

Vault Dweller: "I have so many questions that I know will never be answered."

The teeth door open in a pretty cool way revealing Undyne.

Undyne: "Hi, Papyrus! Ready for our extra-private, one-on-one training?"

Vault Dweller: (Oh god what did I sign up for?)

PAPYRUS: "YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!" *MOVES TO THE LEFT*

Undyne: "Hi, I don't think we've…" *expression turns angrily surprised* "… …"

PAPYRUS: "…"

Vault Dweller: "…"

Undyne: "Why don't. You two. Come in?" *goes inside*

PAPYRUS: *EXCITEDLY RUNS INSIDE*

Vault Dweller: "This should be fun." *walks inside with attitude*

Minus the giant sword leaning on the wall, the inside is not at all what the Vault Dweller was expecting. It looks very normal. There is basic kitchen utilities on the north wall, a piano next to the window and a short table with a stool.

PAPYRUS: "HERE, UNDYNE. MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU, ON THEIR OWN!" *PULLS OUT THE CHEW TOY*

Undyne: "Uhhh… thanks." *takes the chew toy* "I'll, uh, put it with the others." *walks over to a counter drawer and pulls it out revealing a lot of bow wrapped chew toys and puts the recent one in*

Vault Dweller: (Holy shit! I don't know what's more surprising: how many times Papyrus has visited Undyne, how all those toy fit in that drawer or where Papyrus keeps getting them.)

Undyne: *closes the drawer* "So are we ready to start?"

PAPYRUS: "WHOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!" *JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW WITHOUT OPENING IT FIRST*

Vault Dweller: "…"

Undyne: "… So why are YOU here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?"

Vault Dweller: *grins*

Undyne: "You mother FUCKER! Well, I've got news for you, DICK. You're on my battlefield now. And you AREN'T going to humiliate me. I'll fucking TELL you what's going to happen. We're going to hang out. We're going to have a good time. We're going to become 'friends.' You'll become so enamored with me… YOU'LL be the one feeling humiliated for your actions. Fuhuhuhuhu! It's the perfect revenge!"

Vault Dweller: "I should have brought protection then."

Undyne: "Err… Why don't you just have a seat?

The Vault Dweller wonders Undynes house for a bit aimlessly inspecting all her stuff just to mess with her even more. First, the piano.

Undyne: "One time, Alphys's… Uh, friend? Came over here. All he did was lie seductively on the piano… And fed himself grapes. I don't really like that guy. But I admire his lifestyle."

The Vault Dweller inspects the giant sword.

Undyne: "Humans suck, but their history… Kinda rules. Case in point: This giant fucking sword! Historically, humans wielded swords up to 10x their side. RIGHT?"

Vault Dweller: "I suppose if they're a super mutant, then yeah, that's right."

Undyne: "Heh, I knew it! When I first heard that, I immediately wanted one! So me and Alphys built a giant-ass sword together. She figured out all the specs herself… She's smart, huh!?"

Vault Dweller: (Just who is this Alphys anyways?)

The Vault Dweller checks the drawer with all the chew toys in it. When he opens it up, the annoying dog is waiting inside. The Vault Dweller is still pissed about the artifact incident.

Vault Dweller: "You little bitch!"

The Vault Dweller attempts to grab the annoying dog but it winks at him and closes the door. The Vault Dweller tries to open it but it won't budge. He takes a deep breath and continues to the other drawer. This one is a silverware drawer. It has forks, spoons, knives… tiny swords, tiny axes, tiny spears, tiny nunchucks… The Vault Dweller proceeds to the fridge.

Undyne: "I hate cold food. So Alphys fixed up my fridge so it heats up food instead! Hot Fridge… The world's greatest invention!"

Curiously, the Vault Dweller walks over to the oven.

Undyne: "This oven is some top-of-the-line MTT thing. But, y'know, as much as technology advances… Nothing beats food home-cooked with fire magic."

The Vault Dweller walks to the door in the back.

Undyne: "You wanna see my room? TOO BAD! No nerds allowed!… well, maybe some nerds…"

Before his sits down and actually progresses the story, the Vault Dweller checks the broken window.

Undyne: "I can't believe leapt through the damn window like that. Normally he fucking NAILS the landing."

Vault Dweller: *snicker*

The Vault Dweller finally sits down at the table. Now we can finally progress.

Undyne: "Comfortable?"

Vault Dweller: "Uh, yeah. I suppose."

Undyne: "I'll get you something to drink." *goes to the fridge, pulls out four things and puts them in a line on the counter* "All set! What would you like?"

Vault Dweller: "Well let's see…" *attempts to get up*

Undyne: *throws a spear and splits her table in half, causing the Vault Dweller to pause* "HEY! DON'T GET UP! YOU'RE THE GUEST! SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF! … Um, why not just point to what you want? You can use the spear!"

The Vault Dweller grabs the magical spear and points it at Undyne.

Undyne: "… are you… Hitting on me?"

Vault Dweller: "[Lady Killer] You know it, baby. Now make like the fish you are and let's suck face."

Undyne: *slaps the Vault Dweller so hard it causes a sonic boom*

Meanwhile in the Capital Wastelands.

BOS Knight: "What is it scribe?"

BOS Scribe: "I don't know. I feel… a disturbance."

Back in the underground.

Vault Dweller: *realigns his head and using multiple stimpaks. Once fixed up he picks up the spear and points it at the giant sword*

Undyne: "Believe me, I would GLADLY give you your fill of swords. If you weren't my beloved houseguest!"

Vault Dweller: *points the spear at the fridge*

Undyne: "The fridge!? You want to have the entire fucking fridge!? Fuck no!"

The Vault Dweller smiles at his antics but comes to his senses (and by that I mean I took direct control for a second) and points the spear at the Teabox, the blatantly correct choice.

Undyne: *sweating and smiling with frustration* … tea, huh? Coming right up!" *fills a kettle with water and puts it on the stove and turns the stove on* "It'll take a moment for the water to boil." *waits a second and the water boils* "Okay, it's all done!" *pours the tea into a fish shaped cup and places it in front of the Vault Dweller* "Here we are." *sits at the other end of the broken table* "Careful, it's hot."

Vault Dweller: *stares at the tea*

Undyne: "It's not THAT fucking hot! Just drink it already, dammit!"

Vault Dweller: *takes a sip of the tea. It's burning… But other than that, it's pretty good.*

Undyne: "It's pretty good, right?"

Vault Dweller: *gulp and exhale* "Yeah."

Undyne: "Nothing but the best for my ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS FRIEND!"

Brief silence.

Undyne: "Hey… You know… It's kind of strange you chose THAT tea. Golden flower tea…"

Vault Dweller: *checks puff while drinking then hard swallow*

Undyne: "That's ASGORE's favorite kind. Actually, now that I think about it… You kind of remind me of him. You're both TOTAL weenies!… sort of." *pauses* "Y'know, I was a pretty hotheaded kid. Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight ASGORE. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! I was so humiliated… Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy… 'Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt… bad. But he was beaming… I had never seen someone more proud to get their ass kicked. Anyway, long story short, he kept training me… he even trained me to wear that suit of power armor… and now I'm the head of the Royal Guard! So I'm the one who gets to train dorks to fight!"

Vault Dweller: "Like… Papyrus?"

Undyne: "Yeah…"

Brief silence again.

Undyne: "But, um, to be honest… I don't know if… I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard."

Vault Dweller: "Why not? He's seriously fucking strong! If he hadn't run out of stamina, he would have killed me in our last battle."

Undyne: "Seriously!? I knew he was tough, but I didn't think he was THAT fucking tough. Damn… maybe he should be the one wearing the power armor… But…even still… It's just that… He's… He's too innocent and nice! I mean, look, he was SUPPOSED to capture you AND he almost SINGLE handedly killed you… but he ended up being FRIENDS with you instead! I could NEVER send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds."

The Vault Dweller looks down at his tea. His daydreams about Papyrus on the surface… and none of them end well. In fact it would be more accurate to say the Vault Dweller is having daymares. He closes his eyes hardly, opens them and looks at Undyne.

Vault Dweller: "[Perception 7/7] That's why you're teaching him how to cook instead."

Undyne: *shocked* "Y-yeah. So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life." [!] "Oh, sorry, I was talking for so long… You're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get you some more." *walks to the middle of the room then stops* "Wait a second. Papyrus… His cooking lesson… HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW! And if HE's not here to have it… YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE IT FOR HIM!" *launches into the air, lands on the counter and kicks all the stuff off it* "That's right! NOTHING has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means if I give you his lesson… WE'LL BECOME CLOSER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE! Fuhuhu! Afraid!? We're gonna be best friends!" *jumps over to the Vault Dweller, picks him up by the hair, jumps with him over to the counter and places him back on the ground* "Let's start with the sauce!" *stomps on the ground and two tomatoes, a carrot and a banana fall from the ceiling* "Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now! Pound them to dust with your fists!"

The Vault Dweller punches the fruits and vegetable causing a huge mess on the wall. Also part of the wall is now missing.

Undyne: "YEAH! FUCK YEAH! Our hearts are uniting against these healthy ingredients. Uhh, we'll just scrape this into a bowl later. But for NOW!" *stomps on the ground and a pot with a wooden spoon in it, a kettle and a box of uncooked spaghetti falls from the ceiling onto the stove. Undyne and the Vault Dweller rush over to the stove* "… we add the noodles! Homemade noodles are the best! BUT I JUST BY STORE-BRAND! THEY'RE THE CHEAPEST! NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Uhh, just put them in the pot."

The Vault Dweller throws the entire box, including the box, as hard as he can into the pot and ends up denting the pot.

Undyne: "HELL YEAH! I'M INTO IT! Alright! Now it's time to stir the pasta! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir… THE BETTER IT IS! Ready? Let's do it!"

The Vault Dweller stirs so hard he almost creates a black hole in the pot.

Undyne: "HEY! LET ME GET IN ON THIS!" *jabs the pot multiple times with a spear, destroying it* "Fuhuhuhu! That's the stuff! Alright, now for the final step: TURN UP THE FUCKING HEAT! Let the stovetop symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! READY? Don't hold anything back!"

The Vault Dweller turns the dial for heat and a small fire appears below the destroyed pot.

Undyne: "Hotter!"

The Vault Dweller continues turning the dial and the fire grows slightly larger.

Undyne: "HOTTER, DAMMIT!"

The Vault Dweller continues turning the dial. The flame has engulfed the pot.

Undyne: "HOTTER!"

The Vault Dweller continues…

Undyne: "Wait, that's too –"

The entire house is engulfed in flames. Undyne and the Vault Dweller are now covered in soot.

Undyne: "Ah. Shit, no wonder Papyrus sucks ass at cooking." *brief silence* "So what's next? Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets? … oh, who am I fucking kidding. I really fucked this up, didn't I? I can't force you to like me, human. Some people just don't get along with each other. I understand if you feel that way about me. And if we can't be friends… That's okay. Because… If we're not friends… IT MEANS I CAN DESTROY YOU WITHOUT REGRET!"

It's a FIGHT! Undyne pulls out a spear.

Undyne: "I've been defeated… My house is in shambles… I even failed to befriend you. That's it. I don't care if you're my guest anymore. One final rematch! All out on both sides! IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN REGAIN MY LOST PRIDE! NOW COME ON! HIT ME WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT! NGAHHHH!"

The Vault Dweller winds up a punch and strikes with all his might. Undyne receives 0 damage, but the entire back wall of her house has been obliterated. The Vault Dwellers arm hovers right beside her head.

Undyne: "Ho. Ly. Shit. So that's what you can do at full force. But you just couldn't muster up any intent to hurt me, huh? … Heh, you know what?" *drops the spear and it fades away* "I don't actually want to hurt you either. At first, I hated your smartass bullshit, but… The way you completely fucked up half of my house in one punch yet refused to use that force on me… Reminded me of someone I trained with."

Vault Dweller: "At first I was very afraid of you and was willing to defend myself by any means. Originally the reason I came here was to just annoy the shit out of you. But, when you told me of your struggles and why you're training Papyrus to be a cook instead of a soldier… It reminded me of what humans did, what we still do… what I've done. I don't want to be that person anymore." *pulls out his spear and presents it to Undyne* "I want to be a true hero!"

Undyne: *takes the spear* "Heh… Heh heh… FUHUHUHU! MAN THAT IS SO FUCKING LAME! … But, now I know you aren't just some stuck-up jackass. You're a stuck-up jackass with a big heart! As big a heart as his… Listen, human. It seems that you and ASGROE are fated to fight. But knowing him… He probably doesn't want to. Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually, some mean human will fall down here… And I'll take THEIR soul instead. That makes sense, right? Fuhuhu. Oh, and if you DO hurt ASGORE… I'll take the human souls… Cross the barrier… And beat the shit out of you! That's what friends are for, right? Fuhuhu! Now let's get the hell out of this flaming house!"

The Vault Dweller and Undyne get the hell out of the flaming house.

Undyne: "Well, that was fun, huh? We'll have to hang out again another time…! But, uh, somewhere else I guess. In the meantime, I guess I'll go hang with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by Shady Snowdin, OK!? OH! And if you ever need help… Just give Papyrus a ring, ok? Since we're in the same spot, I'll be able to talk too! Well, see ya later, punk ass bitch!" *runs off*

The Vault Dweller checks the burning house. It seems to be in pain now.

Undynes House: "Why? Why did you set me on fire, Vault Dweller!? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WRITE YOUR ESSAY!?"

Vault Dweller: "What the actual FUCK!? Now houses can talk!?"

The house doesn't say speak again so the Vault Dweller leaves. He rides with the River Person back to the laboratory. As they ride, the River Person speaks again.

River Person: "Tra la la. Duty, honor… courage… Semper Fiiiii….."

Vault Dweller: "What?"

The Vault Dweller arrives back at the laboratory. He stands in front of it for a second then goes inside. It's dark inside. The Vault Dweller can only see as far as his Pip-Boy light can shine. However, after a few steps he notices a giant screen… with a live feed of himself on it.

Vault Dweller: "It's me…?"

The Vault Dweller proceeds cautiously. After a few steps, he hears a door open. He pauses and can just barely make out a figure in the darkness. Suddenly, the lights come on. Despite slight disorientation from the lights, the Vault Dweller sees the figure clearly now. A short humanoid(ish) yellow/orange lizard wearing a lab coat and glasses. She almost resembles a Deathclaw, only without the horns… and claws.

?: *walks left and notices the Vault Dweller* "Oh. My god." *begins panicking* "I didn't expect you to show up so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and…" *slows down then comes to a rest facing the Vault Dweller* "Ummm… H-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm ASGORE's royal scientist!"

Vault Dweller: "The Great Doctor Alphys. We finally meet. I've heard much about you."

Alphys: "R-r-really!? Gee, that's… B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the 'bad guys'! Actually, since you stepped out of the RUINS, I've, um… been 'observing' your journey through my console. Your fights… Your friendships… Everything!"

Vault Dweller: "So you where the one who put those cameras everywhere?"

Alphys: "Yup!... Wait, you noticed them!? Darn. Guess I'm not the best a hiding things… B-b-but anyways! I was originally going to stop you, but… Watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to ASGORE's castle, no problem!"

Vault Dweller: "Alright, sounds good to me! Let's get this show on the road and preferably away from the magma."

Alphys: "Well, actually, umm, there's just a tiny issue. A long time ago, I made a robot named Megaton, I-I mean Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something. Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some small practical adjustments. Like, um… Anti… anti-human combat features?"

Vault Dweller: "Why am I not surprised?"

Alphys: "Of c-course, when I saw you coming, I immediately decided… I have to remove those features!"

Vault Dweller: "Oh, well then-"

Alphys: "Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so. And, um… Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood. Ehehehehe…"

Vault Dweller: "Fuck. My. Life."

Alphys: "Heh. But, ummm, hopefully we won't run into him!"

*Rumble*

Alphys: "…?"

*Louder Rumble*

Alphys: "Did you hear something?"

*Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble*

Alphys: "Oh no."

Vault Dweller: *groan* "Well folks, let's see who's behind curtain number 1…"

White light fills the room then it fades to black.

?: "OHHHH YES! WELCOME, BEAUTIES…"

A spotlight appears on a securitron with white gloved hands. The picture on the screen looks like a human with a metal face half covered by hair.

Mettaton: "… TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!"

A neon "GAME SHOW" sign appears accompanied by two spinning balls of multicolored lights, also confetti.

Mettaton: "OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW! EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT! NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS? NO PROBLEM! IT'S SIMPLE! THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE. ANSWER CORRECTLY… OR YOU DIE!"

Vault Dweller: *with his hand on his forehead* "Why am I not surprised…"

Let the games begin! Mettaton attacks! Alphys is also standing near.

Mettaton: "LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE! 'What's the prize for answering correctly?'"

Four possible answers appear on the Vault Dweller's Pip-Boy accompanied by the letter and an unfair timer. Alphys signals the Vault Dweller the letter D with her hands. He notices and says…

Vault Dweller: "D, More questions."

Mettaton: *confetti falls* "RIGHT! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GET IT!"

Alphys: *thumbs up*

The quiz show continues.

Mettaton: "HERE'S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE! 'What's the king's full name?'"

The Vault Dweller doesn't even look at his Pip-Boy or Alphys for this one.

Vault Dweller: "Asgore Dreemurr."

Mettaton: *confetti again* "CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER!"

The quiz show continues.

Mettaton: "ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME! 'What are robots made of?'"

The Vault Dweller looks at his Pip-Boy again then at Alphys and answers.

Vault Dweller: "B, Metal&Magic."

Mettaton: *you get the point* "TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH?"

The quiz show continues.

Mettaton: "HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU! 'Two trains, Train A, and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A, and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00 AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?'"

Vault Dweller: "[Intelligence 10/10] 32.058 minutes."

Mettaton: "WONDERFUL! IM ASTOUNDED, FOLKS!"

Alphys: *shocked*

I'm gonna stop saying the quiz show continues because I'm sure you get the point now.

Mettaton: "DON'T 'COUNT' ON YOUR VICTORY... 'How many flies are in this jar?'"

A jar of flies appears.

Vault Dweller: "[Perception 10/10] 54."

Mettaton: "CORRECT! YOU'RE SO LUCKY TODAY!"

Alphys: *intrigued*

Mettaton: "LET'S PLAY MEMORY GAME. 'What monster is this?'"

A half Froggit face appears on the screen. The Vault Dweller is about to pick A as his answer but Alphys flags him down and signals to him D.

Vault Dweller: *blinks in morse code "Are you sure?"*

Alphys: *blinks back in morse code "Yes, trust me!"*

Vault Dweller: *deep breath* "D, Mettaton."

The monster in question is revealed to be Mettaton wearing a shirt with Froggit's face.

Mettaton: "I'M SO FLATTERED YOU REMEMBERED! BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? 'Would you smooch a ghost?'"

The Vault Dweller sees his answers and gives a blank Rocko look at the forth wall.

Vault Dweller: "Heck Yeah."

Mettaton: "GREAT ANSWER! I LOVE IT! HERE'S A SIMPLE ONE. 'How many letters in the name Mettaton?'"

The number of Ns at the end of Mettatons name increases and eventually goes out of the screen. The numbers on the answers also go haywire.

Vault Dweller: "[Perception 3/3] Eight."

Mettaton: "OF COURSE THAT WAS EASY FOR YOU! TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS! 'In the dating simulation video game "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie" what is Mew Mew's favorite food?'"

Alphys: *boisterously raising her hand in the air and interrupting* "OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and..."

Vault Dweller: *sigh* (Well, this is the end…)

Mettaton: "ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS. YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU? OOOOOOH! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I'LL ASK A QUESTION... YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! 'Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?'"

Vault Dweller: "Me. Why else would she have cameras everywhere that monitor my every move and a giant monitor that SHOWS my every move?"

Mettaton: "... SERIOUSLY? MY MY... HOW CONCEITED CAN YOU GET...? I LOVE IT! AND WHILE YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG, YOU DESERVE SOME CREDIT. I'VE SEEN HER WATCH YOU ON HER COMPUTER SCREEN. SMILING WHEN YOU SUCCEED. SHRIEKING WHEN YOU FAIL. AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS, WHISPERING... 'NO! WRONG! YOU HAVE TO GO THAT WAY!' IN ITS OWN WAY, IS THIS NOT LOVE?"

Alphys: *blushing and hiding her face*

Mettaton: "WELL WELL WELL. WITH DR. ALPHYS HELPING YOU... THE SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! BUT. BUT! THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS...!" *arms and wheel retract and jets away*

The encounter ends and the story will continue in the next chapter. Stay beautiful.


	7. Chapter 7: Fires of War

Chapter 7: Fires of War

Mettaton just flew away leaving the Vault Dweller and Alphys in awkward silence.

Alphys: "… Well that was certainly something."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, you're telling me."

The Vault Dweller relaxes and decides to look around now that the lights are on. The first thing he sees is a big bag of dog food that's half full. He shivers when he thinks about who this is for. Before he goes further, Alphys calls for him.

Alphys: "Wait, wait!" *walks over to the Vault Dweller* "Let me give you my ph-phone number! Th-then… m-maybe… If you need help, I could…" *notices the Vault Dwellers phone* "Wh… where'd you get that phone!? It's ANCIENT! It doesn't even have texting. Hm, is that a Pip-Boy 2000? W-wait a second, please!" *grabs the Vault Dwellers phone and whats left of the Pip-Boy 2000 and runs off. after a few hammer bangs and a small scream she returns the phone to the Vault Dweller* "Here, I upgraded it for you! It can do texting, items, it's got a key chain… I even signed you up for the underground's No. 1 social network! Now we're officially friends! Ehehehe! Heheh… Heh… I'm going to the bathroom." *runs away*

Vault Dweller: "… What's a social network?"

With his new phone, his question unanswered and Alphys in the bathroom, the Vault Dweller continues to look around the lab. He opens the fridge next to the dogfood. The fridge is filled with instant noodles and Nuka Cola. The Vault Dweller takes a package of noodles. After that he looks on the table next to the fridge. He sees a beat-up figure of a female human with cat ears and a teacup shaped like a yellow lizard. It's full of soda. There is also a computer on the desk. It's accessing some kind of puzzle in Shady Snowdin. There are also a lot of notes to something, but it's all written in chicken scratch. It seems like a walkthrough to a game, or…? There's also a garbage can, but it's pretty cute. The video feed of the Vault Dweller's current location is still playing. He inspects the area where Mettaton busted out of. The space behind the wall is only a few feet wide. Behind the door Alphys went, yellow feet are tapping. The Vault Dweller notices an escalator that actually works and goes to the second floor of the lab. On the second floor he finds five bookcases. At the risk of depression he inspects them. The first bookcase is filled with scientific books. They seem very dusty. The second bookcase has books all labeled "Human History." The Vault Dweller takes a deep breath and decides to read one. He takes a look inside. It's a comic of a giant robot fighting a beautiful alien princess. Seems pretty accurate. The third bookcase is filled with holotapes and recordings of various cartoons. One of them is a pre-war advertisement about Vaults. Again, they are all labeled "Human History." The fourth bookcase is again filled with books labeled "Human History." The Vault Dweller looks inside one of the books and finds another comic. This one has two scantily-clad chefs flinging energy pancakes at each other. This must be a recent event. The last bookcase once again has books labeled "Human History." Another comic book. This one has a hideous android running to school with toast in its mouth. Seems like it's late. At the end of the comic is a flyer with a lantern on it saying "Follow the Freedom Trail." After the books the Vault Dweller continues looking around the second floor of the lab. He finds a strange machine dripping pink goop. There is a label on the bottom that say "Property of Suffolk County Charter School." Next to the machine is a table. Looks like Aplhys's work table. Seems dusty. The wardrobe located next to the work table is full of dirty lab coats… and a single clean dress. Next to the wardrobe is a desk with letters from many monsters… Froggit, Snowy, Rexxo… They're all unopened. There is also a lamp with pink fish on the lampshade. There is no lightbulb. Next to the desk is an incredible invention. When not in use, this bed folds into an extremely-easy-to-draw box. There is a symbol resembling the Vitruvian Man on it. The last thing in the lab is a promo poster for Mettaton's TV premiere. On the flap it says "Thank you for making my dreams come true." Finished rummaging through Alphys's things, the Vault Dweller leaves through the labs back door. It's very hot. Strange red lights can be seen in the distance. After about two steps the Vault Dwellers phone goes off. However, instead of a call it's actually a text message, like an email of some kind. (Side note: Anything between two hashtags # is the phone messages.)

#ALPHYS updated status. "just realized i didn't watch undyne fight the human v.v"#

After five more steps. *update tone*

#ALPHYS updated status. "well i know she's unbeatable i'll ask her abt it later ^.^"#

Three more steps… *update tone*

Vault Dweller: *Eddy style groan*

#ALPHYS updated status. "for now i gotta call up the human and guide them =^.^="#

Thankfully, the updates stop long enough to allow the plot to move forward. The Vault Dweller makes his way to a set of conveyor belts. One leads forward and the other leads back. It is flanked on both sides by what can only be described as giant Bunsen burners. On the conveyor belt, the Vault Dweller has a run-in with a monster named Vulkin who burns the Vault Dweller after a quick hug. After making it to the other side of the conveyor belt-*update tone*

Vault Dweller: *louder Eddy style groan*

#ALPHYS updated status. "gonna call them in a minute! =^.^="#

Anyways, after a second set of conveyor belts and a pipe bridge, the Vault Dweller arrives in a room with pools of lava and very unsafe walkways. Also a save point. (The wooshing sound of steam and cogs… it fills you with determination.) Random Trivia: This room is called "Magma Chamber" but should be called "Lava Chamber" because it is underground. Anyways-*update tone*

Vault Dweller: *visible smoke*

#APLHYS updated status. "I HATE USING THE PHONE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS LMAO ^.^"#

Before the Vault Dweller tosses the phone into the lava, a monster attacks. It's a… plane with a hat? Tsunderplane as she's called. An awkward encounter ensues as the Vault Dweller makes her so nervous by simply walking closer that she, ahem, jets away. After that the Vault Dweller notices the land is fragmented. On the edges of the lands are vents with arrows on them. Upon stepping on one, it launches the Vault Dweller over to the adjacent cliff!

Vault Dweller: "AH!" *lands* "Woah… that was terrifying. Who designed this place?"

After vent jumping a few more times, the Vault Dweller finds a pathway that leads nowhere due to conveyer belts blocking his way, but sees a weapon on one of the adjacent cliffs. He vent jumps over to it. It's a .357 Magnum Revolver. The barrel, frame and cylinder are made of a smooth black metal decorated with ornate gold etchings, and the polished ivory handle is inlaid with the clubs symbol. The word "Lucky" is engraved on the silver plate on the ejector tube. The Vault Dweller picks it up and equips it. You got Lucky! After making his way back to Magma Chamber and halfway across the valley of lava his phone gets another status update.

#ALPHYS updated status. "omg ive had my claw over the last digit for five minutes omg i'm just gonna do it i'm just gonna call!"#

The Vault Dweller has no comment and continues on. After making it across the vent jumps to the other side his phone actually rings. Ring… Ring… Click…?

Vault Dweller: (Whoever was calling hung up before I could answer.)

The Vault Dweller continues to the next room. It's filled with pipe-walkways and there are strange machines producing orange and blue colored lasers. Before the Vault Dweller takes another, his phone rings and he answers.

Alphys: "Uhh! H-hi, so, the blue lasers… Uhh! I mean, Alphys here! Hi! The blue lasers won't hurt you if you don't move! O-orange ones, um… Y-you have to be moving, and they… Um, they won't, um… Move through those ones! … Uhh, bye!"

After one single step, the Vault Dweller gets an update.

#ALPHYS updated status. "OMG I DID IT! claws haven't shook like that since undyne called me to ask about the weather… v.v"#

Curiously, the Vault Dweller calls Undyne to ask why she called Alphys about the weather.

Vault Dweller: *dials Papyrus and Undyne, it rings for a bit then is answered* "Hey Undyne, why did you call Alphys about the weather?"

Undyne: "What!? Why'd I call Alphys about the weather? Who fucking CARES!? Isn't it natural to love meteorology!?"

PAPYRUS: "ZOINKS! I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO HER. I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS WEATHER DOWN HERE!"

Undyne: "YEAH!? THERE IS?! And I'm forecasting an incoming front of SHUT THE HELL UP!"

PAPYRUS: "WOWIE! WILL I NEED AN UMBRELLA?"

After that humorous call, the Vault Dweller proceeds through the lasers. He runs straight through the orange lasers and before he can make it to the blue one, Alphys updates her status.

#ALPHYS updated status. "WAIT THERE'S NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME"#

Annoyed, the Vault Dweller times his movements and makes it past the blue laser and several other sets of orange and blue lasers. At the end of the lasers is a button on a tube. The Vault Dweller pushes it and deactivated the lasers. He walks over to the next room and is once again interrupted by a status update.

#ALPHYS updated status. Oh My God i Forgot to Tell THem Where To Go"#

After only one single step, the Vault Dweller gets another interruption.

#ALPHYS posted a picture. "CUte PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^.^" (It's a photo of a garbage can with several pink, glittery filters over it.)#

The Vault Dweller manages to get a few steps in and makes it to a crossroad of three vent jumps. Before he can proceed, however, his phone rings, again, and he picks it up, again.

Alphys: "A-A-Alphys here! Th… the northern door will stay locked until you… S-solve the puzzles on the right and left! I… I think you sh-should g-g-go to the right first!" *Click*

For once the Vault Dweller received useful information and is slightly less infuriated by his new phone. After a quick encounter with a monster called 'Pyrope' that left the Vault Dweller very sweaty, he makes his way to the right puzzle. He talks with two monsters talking about Mettatons show. Before he can enter the puzzle room…

#ALPHYS updated status. "wonder if it would be unfun if i explained the puzzle…"#

The Vault Dweller enters the puzzle room. There is a giant puzzle with blocks and two arrow looking things on opposing sides. He meets a monster saying he failed the puzzle a few times and the two monsters outside the room won't help him. The Vault Dweller reads the instructions for the puzzle, located conveniently next to it, and solves the giant puzzle easily. He makes his way to the left puzzle but runs into a bit of trouble. A blue laser is blocking the way. That's when he gets a phone call.

Alphys: "Alphys! Here! Th-that blue laser seems totally impassable! B-b-but! As the Royal Scientist, I h-have some tricks up my sleeve! I'll h-hack into th-the Hotland laser database and take it out!"

Alphys hangs up and the laser shuts off. The Vault Dweller is relived. He meets two monsters that explain that a bunch of lasers and puzzles just recently reactivated. The Vault Dweller face palms and goes into the second puzzle room. He solves it and makes his way to the big door in the middle. It opens and he walks through. Then, surprise surprise.

#ALPHYS updated status. "whatever! i'll just explain it!"#

Ring…

Alphys: "Uuuh, I think… Umm… Hey! About the puzzles on the left and right…!"

Vault Dweller: "You mean the ones I already solved?"

Alphys: "… uhhh, you already s-solved them? Awesome!" *Click*

The Vault Dweller does multiple vent jumps and lands on a bit of land that reminds him of Vault 13's diner floor. After a few steps he ends up in a pitch-dark room. And he gets a phone call.

Alphys: "H-hey, it's kind of dark in there, isn't it?"

Vault Dweller: *You don't say face*

Alphys: "Don't worry! I'll hack into the light system and brighten it up!"

The lights come on and the Vault Dweller finds himself in a kitchen, but it feels more like a stage.

Alphys: "Oh no."

Vault Dweller: "Oh no…"

Mettaton: *Emerging from behind the counter* "OHHHH YES! WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!"

The title "Cooking with a Killer Robot" appears and disappears.

Mettaton: "WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING… A CAKE! MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS. EVERYONE GIVE THEM A BIG HAND!" *Claps and confetti falls from the ceiling* "WE'LL NEED SUGAR, MILK, AND EGGS. GO FOR IT, SWEETHEART!"

Vault Dweller: (What are eggs?)

The Vault Dweller picks up what he thinks are the eggs, the milk and the sugar and puts them on the counter where Mettaton is.

Mettaton: "PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE'VE GOT ALL THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE THE CAKE! MILK… SUGAR… EGGS… OH MY! WHAT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET! WE'RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!" *SCREEN TURNS RED AND PULLS OUT A CHAINSAW* "A HUMAN SOUL!"

Mettaton starts moving slowly towards the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller steadies his hand over Lucky. Before anything else happens, Mettatons phone rings and he answers.

Mettaton: "HELLO…? I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE."

Alphys: "W-wait a second! Couldn't you make a… Couldn't you use a… Couldn't you make a substitution in the recipe?!"

Mettaton: "… A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN, A DIFFERENT, NON-HUMAN INGREDIENT?… WHY?"

Vault Dweller: "Do you know how much radiation I've absorbed up there? The cake would be burned before I get in the oven."

Alphys: "Uhhh… Yeah! What he said!"

Mettaton: "RADIATION. AH YES! YOU CAN'T COOK WHATS ALREADY BEEN BAKED! ACTUALLY, I HAPPEN TO HAVE ANOTHER OPTION RIGHT HERE! MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVORED-SUBSTITUTE! A CAN OF WHICH… IS JUST OVER ON THAT COUNTER! WELL, DARLING? WHY DON'T YOU GO GET IT?"

The Vault Dweller walks over to the can of ACHSFS. When he gets to it, the counter grows like a bean stock grown from magic beans.

Mettaton: "BY THE WAY, OUR SHOW RUNS ON A STRICT SCHEDULE. IF YOU CAN'T GET THE CAN IN THE NEXT ONE MINUTE… WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PLAN! SO… BETTER START CLIMBING, BEAUTIFUL!"

Before the Vault Dweller can throw a temper tantrum worthy of a bus line at Rock Bottom, he gets a phone call.

Alphys: "Oh no! There's not enough time to climb up!"

Vault Dweller: *hand tightens* "Ladies and gentlemen we may have to cut to commercial here in a sec…"

Alphys: "… F-f-fortunately, I might have a plan! When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few… features. You see that huge button that says… 'JETPACK'? Watch this!"

The Vault Dweller pushes the button. The phone floats out of his hand and attaches itself to the back of his power armor. Suddenly, two huge jet wings appear out of the power armor.

Vault Dweller: "Woah! Now we're talking!"

Alphys: "There! You should have just enough fuel to reach the top! Now, get up there!"

The Vault Dweller squats in a ready position, the jets on his back begin to light up then he lifts of into the air! As he ascends the ridiculously tall counter, Mettaton drops eggs, sugar and milk at the Vault Dweller in an attempt to slow him down, but he dodges the ingredient bombardments and makes it to the top with seconds to spare.

Mettaton: "MY MY. IT SEEMS YOU'VE BESTED ME. BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAD THE HELP OF THE BRILIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS! OH, I LOATHE TO THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU WITHOUT HER! WELL, TOODLES!" *FLIES AWAY*

Vault Dweller: "…"

Mettaton: *FLIES BACK* "OH YES! ABOUT THE SUBSTITUTION… HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A COOKING SHOW BEFORE? I ALREADY BAKED THE CAKE AHEAD OF TIME! SO FORGET IT!" *FLIES AWAY*

The Vault Dweller descends safely back to the ground and gets a phone call.

Alphys: "Wow! We… we did it! We… we really did it! Great job out there, team! W-well, uh, anyways, let's keep heading forward!" *Click*

The Vault Dweller takes a deep breath and continues on. He finds himself in a clearing with a large structure in the distance. Also, save point. (An ominous structure looms in the distance… You're filled with determination.) The Vault Dweller stops for a minute to look at the distant structure. It reminds him of Vault 13's reactor, only a lot bigger and sitting in lava. He gets a phone call.

Alphys: "S-see that building in the distance? That's the CORE. The source of all power for the underground. It converts geothermal energy into magical electricity, by…"

Vault Dweller: "Nuclear fusion, got it."

Alphys: "Uhh, anyways, that's where we're going to go. In the CORE is an elevator directly to ASGORE's castle. And from there… You can go home." *Click*

The Vault Dweller lingers for a little bit, thinking about that last. He ponders the meaning of "home". After about a minute of silent brooding he continues on his journey. He finds an elevator with a big "R1" above it and a monster standing outside of it. The monster is black and grey, holding his head and something in his hand. Whatever's in the monsters hand begins to speak.

Gaster Follower 2: "Alphys might work faster. But the old Royal Scientist, Doctor W.D. Gaster? One day, he vanished without a trace. They say he shattered across time and space. Ha Ha... how can I say so without fear? I'm holding a piece of him right here."

After saying that, he disappears. The Vault Dweller is confused and uneasy about this, but he shakes it off and goes in the elevator. Some of the buttons seem to be off, so he pushes "Right Floor 2". Once he arrives he meets a small fire monster named "Heats Flamesman" and walks east. He finds sans at a stand and a couple of monsters holding something. The Vault Dweller decides to make small-talk with the two monsters.

Hot Dog Harpy: "I love hot dogs! Hey… Isn't it weird there's SNOW on that guy's roof? … guess he's just too lazy to clean it off."

The Vault Dweller gives a "seriously" look while sweating his pants off and goes over to Vulcan.

Hot Dog Vulcan: "Toasty bun!"

With that, the Vault Dweller walks over to sans.

sans: "hey buddy, what's up? wanna buy a hot dog? it's only 30GBC."

Vault Dweller: "Ok." *Hands over 30GBC*

sans: "thanks, kid. here's your 'dog."

Vault Dweller: "'Dog?"

sans: "yeah. 'dog. apostrophe-dog. it's short for hot-dog."

The Vault Dweller shrugs takes a bite of the hot dog. The "meat" is made of something called "water sausage." Not sure why, the Vault Dweller feels really nostalgic about this food. After downing the blast from the past, the Vault Dweller proceeds on. After a few steps he gets another update. Joy.

#ALPHYS posted a picture. "dinner with the girlfriend ;)" (It's a picture of a catgirl figurine next to a bowl of instant noodles.)#

The Vault Dweller feels somewhat sorry for Alphys yet has an odd sense of respect for her bravery at the same time. He walks east a bit more and arrives in a fork in the road. He decides to go south in the fork and finds a small plateau. He sees something on the ground but before he can investigate it he gets another message.

#NAPSTABLOOK22 has sent you a friend request.#

The Vault Dweller is confused by this but decides to accept it none the less. But… It seems to have already rejected itself… The Vault Dweller disregards this and goes to investigate the object on the ground. The object is a faded blue duster coat with a black spade defaced by a yellow 21 on the back. The Vault Dweller decides to wear it. He removes the Vault-Tec Power Armor and dawns the duster. For some reason, it fells very good on him. It definitely fits with Lucky. With his wardrobe changed, the Vault Dweller continues on the eastward path. As he's walking he gets another message.

#CoolSkeleton95 posted a picture. "ARE WE POSTING HOT "PICS?" HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND" (It is a picture of Papyrus flexing in front of a mirror. He is wearing sunglasses. Giant muscular biceps are pasted onto his arms. The biceps are also wearing sunglasses.)#

The Vault Dweller collapses on the floor, howling with laughter and kicking his feat flamboyantly in the air. While this is going on another update appears.

#ALPHYS updated status. "LOL, CoolSkeleton95… that's a joke, right?#

Still laughing and another message.

#CoolSkeleton95 updated status. "THE ONLY JOKE HERE, IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE."#

The Vault Dweller recovers from his humorous escapade and proceeds. He arrives at anoter set of conveyer belts and gets a call.

Alphys: "H… hi…! It's Dr. Alphys. This p-puzzle is kinda… um… timing-based. Y-you see those switches over there? Y-you'll have to press all of them within 3 seconds. I'll t-try to help you with the rhythm!"

Vault Dweller: "Ok, thanks." *Click*

The Vault Dweller gets on the conveyer belt and hits two of the three switches no problem, but when he gets to the third one… Ring.

Alphys: "OK! Now press the third one!"

Vault Dweller: *missed the third switch* *has a dark annoyed look on his face*

Alphys: "….."

Energy field blocking the way shuts off.

Alphys: "H-h-hey! Looks like you! Only needed to press! Two of them!"

The Vault Dweller grows suspicious but proceeds to the next puzzle, shrugging off some frustration. At least until…

#ALPHYS updated status. "that's the last time i try to help with a puzzle lmao"#

The Vault Dweller smiles and almost jumps in celebration, but decides to hold in his gratitude. Which is good because he gets another call after two steps.

Alphys: "Uh, h-h-hey! I'm going to the bathroom, so I'll be MIA for a bit. I'm… I'm sure you can handle this puzzle yourself!" *Click*

The Vault Dweller sighs with relief and begins the puzzle. He hops around the vent jumps for a bit but eventually makes it to the other side and proceeds on. He finds a save point but before he can get to it…

#ALPHYS updated status. "OMG? ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? LOLLLLL that's a joke, right…"#

Vault Dweller: "…"

The Vault Dweller sees a mouse hole and a piece of cheese inside a computerized laser-safe. The lasers have melted the edges of the cheese… It's stuck to the table. Save point. (Knowing the mouse might one day hack the computerized safe and get the cheese… It fills you with determination.) After a few steps to the left…

#ALPHYS updated status. "omg… DON'T THEY GET IT RUINS Mew Mew's ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC?"#

Vault Dweller: "…" *one step forward*

#ALPHYS updated status. "My Mew Mew 2 Review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars."#

Vault Dweller: "…" (Arg…)

The Vault Dweller manages to walk a bit, without interruptions, down a corridor when someone calls out to him.

?: "Hey! You! Stop!"

Two monsters in hellfire power armor approach the Vault Dweller.

?1: "We've, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a blue jumpsuit. They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now…"

Vault Dweller: "Really…"

?2: "I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you someplace safe, OK?"

Vault Dweller: "Uh… sure…"

The two monsters escort the Vault Dweller for a few paces when they suddenly stop.

?1: "… Huh? What is it, bro? The jumpsuit their wearing? … like, what about it?"

Both monsters look at the Vault Dweller. They see his blue jumpsuit under the duster.

?1: "Bro… Are you thinkin… What I'm thinkin? Bummer. This is, like… Mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff."

Vault Dweller: "Dammit."

It's a FIGHT! Royal Guards attacks! The Vault Dweller examines the two Royal Guards. He notices the second guard's armor has dirt over some of the exhaust ports. After a few quick maneuvers while dodging team attacks, he cleans all the dirt off of RG 02's armor. This causes his armor to overheat.

RG 02: "… can't… take it. … armor… too… HOT!" *removes the center piece* "… much better."

RG 01 looks bothered by something. The Vault Dweller tells RG 01 to be honest with his feelings.

RG 01: "I... I... D-dude... I can't... I can't take this anymore! Not like this! Like, 02! I like... I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight... The way you talk... I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync... 02... I, like, want to stay like this forever..."

RG 02: "..."

RG 01: "Uh... I mean, uh... Psyche! Gotcha bro! Haha!"

RG 02:" ...01."

RG 01: "Y-Yeah, bro?"

RG 02: "...do you want to...get some ice cream...after this?"

RG 01: "Sure dude! Haha!"

The FIGHT ends and the two Royal Guards leave. The Vault Dweller accepts that he lives in a very strange world and will continue his adventure in the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8: Passion and Destruction

Chapter 8: Passion and Destruction

The Vault Dweller continues down the winding industrial corridor but is interrupted constantly by updates.

#ALPHYS updated status. "oopswait how's the humnan doing"#

#ALPHYS updated status. "Top 10 Shows That Make You Forget To Do Your Frickin Job"#

After avoiding a few smoke stacks, the Vault Dweller finds himself in a pitch-black room. After a few steps he gets a phone call.

Alphys: "Okay, I'm back! A-another dark room, huh? Don't worry! M-my hacking skills have got things covered!"

The lights come on and the Vault Dweller finds himself in… a news broadcast?

Vault Dweller and Alphys: "Are you serious?"

Mettaton: "OHHHHHH YESSS! GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS! AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND! FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE! BRAVE CORRESPONDENT! PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT! OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!"

Vault Dweller: *groan* "How do I get myself into these situations…"

The Vault Dweller looks around and spots a basketball.

Mettaton: "BASKETBALL'S A BLAST, ISN'T IT, DARLING? TOO BAD YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH THESE BALLS. THEY'RE MTT-BRAND FASHION BASKETBALLS. FOR WEARING, NOT PLAYING. YOU CAN'T GET RICH AND FAMOUS LIKE MOI WITHOUT BEAUTIFYING A FEW ORBS."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, I'm sure you have plenty of experience with that." *snicker*

Mettaton: "WHAT?"

Vault Dweller: "Nothing!"

The Vault Dweller continues and finds a dog. He holds back immense fear and frustration.

Mettaton: "WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY! I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: 'A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE.' FRANKLY, I'M BLOWN AWAY."

The Vault Dweller continues to find a present. For some reason he gets a craving for steak.

Mettaton: "OH MY, IT'S A PRESENT! AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, DARLING! AREN'T YOU JUST BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT? WHAT COULD BE INSIDE? WELL, NO TIME LIKE THE 'PRESENT' TO FIND OUT!"

The Vault Dweller can't help but snicker at the bad pun and continues to find a video game on the ground.

Mettaton: "OOH LA LA! THIS VIDEO GAME YOU FOUND... IS DYNAMITE! THOUGH I DON'T MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN IT UNTIL THREE-FOURTHS IN. BUT I LIKE THAT. APPEARING FROM THE HEAVENS LIKE MANNA, SLAKING THE AUDIENCE'S HUNGER FOR GORGEOUS ROBOTS... OOH! THAT'S METTATON! WAIT A SECOND… THERE'S A SECOND VIDEO GAME ALONG WITH IT! THIS ONE'S ALL YOURS, DARLING!"

The Vault Dweller questions his reality and continues to the next object which is… hey, wait a minute! That's the script for a Fanfiction!

Mettaton: "OH NO! THAT FANFICTION SCRIPT! HOW'D? THAT GET THERE? IT'S A SUPER-JUICY SNEAK PREVIEW OF MERCURY FREELANCERS LATEST GUARANTEED-NOT-TO-BOMB FANFICTION: BIODOOM! I'VE HEARD THAT LIKE THIS FANFIC... IT CONSISTS MOSTLY OF BAD PUNS, INAPPROPRIATE JOKES AND LOADS OF EASTER EGGS. OOH! BUT THAT'S! NOT CONFIRMED! YOU WOULDN'T *COUGH* SPOIL THE FANFIC FOR EVERYONE WITH A PROMOTIONAL STORY, WOULD YOU?"

Uh, yeah, Vault Dweller… You wouldn't spoil a fanfiction… would you?

Vault Dweller: *Winks and moves on to a glass of water on the ground*

Whew.

Mettaton: "OH MY! ... IT'S A COMPLETELY NONDESCRIPT GLASS OF WATER. BUT ANYTHING CAN MAKE A GREAT STORY WITH ENOUGH SPIN!"

The Vault Dweller is most curious about the video games so he goes back to report on it.

Mettaton: "AH, YOU UNDERSTAND. THIS IS A GAME WHERE YOU SHOULD CHECK EVERYTHING TWICE."

Vault Dweller: "This is the Vault Dweller, reporting LIVE!"

Mettaton: "ATTENTION, VIEWERS! OUR CORRESPONDENT HAS FOUND... VIDEO GAMES! THESE ACTION-PACKED GAMES ARE GUARANTEED TO BLOW YOU AWAY! STRANGE ENEMIES! STRANGE ALLIES! ATTRACTIVE ROBOTS! FEATURING UP TO SIX ARBITRARY DIALOGUE CHOICES AT ONCE! CORRESPONDENT! LET'S LOOK INSIDE THE CASE!..."

The Vault Dweller opens the case and finds sticks of dynamite in it.

Mettaton: "THOSE RED CYLINDERS WITH BURNING FUSES... OH NO! THIS GAME LITERALLY IS DYNAMITE! I GUESS THEY WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG! VIDEO-GAMES DO CAUSE VIOLENCE! OR AT LEAST, THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO. BUT DON'T GET TOO EXCITED! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE REST OF THE ROOM YET!"

The news broadcast crumbles away and the whole room is revealed. All the objects are actually bombs.

Mettaton: "OH MY! IT SEEMS THAT EVERYTHING IN THIS AREA IS ACTUALLY A BOMB! THAT PRESENT'S A BOMB! THAT BASKETBALL'S A BOMB! EVEN MY WORDS ARE…!" *WORDS FALL OFF SPEECH BOX AND EXPLODE* "BRAVE CORRESPONDENT… IF YOU DON'T DEFUSE ALL OF THE BOMBS…" *FLIES AND FINDS A NUKE NEAR A PIPE* "THIS BIG BOMB WILL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS IN TWO MINUTES! THEN YOU WON'T BE REPORTING 'LIVE' ANY LONGER! HOW TERRIBLE! HOW DISTURBING! OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE WATCHING THIS! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!"

Vault Dweller: *Internal Screaming*

Ring…

Alphys: "D-don't worry! I installed a bomb-defuse program on your phone! Use the 'defuse' option when the bomb is in the DEFUSE ZONE! N-now, go get 'em!"

Vault Dweller: "You know what, I have a better idea."

Alphys: "Huh!? What are yo-"

The Vault Dweller hangs up the phone and goes straight for the nuke.

Vault Dweller: "[Traps: 100/100] [Science: 100/100] Not this time."

The nukes timer reaches zero but instead of an explosion a mighty blast of steam comes out of the nuke and blows all the fuses off the other bombs.

Alphys: "!"

Mettaton: "WELL, THIS IS CERTAINLY UNEXPECTED. IT WOULD SEEM DR. ALPHYS TAUGHT YOU WELL! CURSE YOU VAULT DWELLER AND YOU, DR. ALPHYS, FOR BEING SO HELPFUL! BUT I DON'T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING!" *FLIES AWAY*

Alphys: "W-wow… W-we really showed him, huh? … H-hey, I know I was kind of weird at first… But I really think I'm getting more… Uh, more… M-more confident about guiding you! S-so don't worry about that b-big d-dumb robot… I-I'll protect you from him! A-and if it really c-came down to it, we could just t-turn… Um, nevermind. Later!" *Click*]

The Vault Dweller is conflicted. On the one hand he feels glad to be helping out Alphys with her shyness, but on the other he can't help but find this whole situation a bit off. The Vault Dweller regains his composure and continues onward. He gets another good look at the CORE and a phone call.

Alphys: "Um… I noticed you've been kind of quiet… Are you w-worried about meeting ASGORE…?"

Vault Dweller: "Some have told me that the kind is the mightiest of all monsters and will stop at nothing to slay any human that crosses his path. But… others have said he is a kind, benevolent ruler. Alphys, I just don't know what to feel."

Alphys: "W-well, don't worry, okay? Th-the king is a really nice guy… I'm sure you can talk to him, and… W-with your human soul, you can pass through the barrier! S-so no worrying, OK? J-just forget about it and smile." *Click*

The Vault Dweller is for once glad Alphys called. He knows the future is uncertain, but for now he would rather smile. He takes a deep breath and continues walking. The Vault Dweller finds another elevator, this one having a big "L2" on it, and a monster standing next to the elevator. This monster is grey and looks like a talking face sprouting out of the ground. He speaks to the Vault Dweller.

Gaster Follower 3: "I understand why Asgore waited so long to hire a new royal scientist. The previous one... Dr. Gaster. His brilliance was irreplaceable. However, his life... was cut short. One day, his experiments went wrong, and..."

Vault Dweller: "… And?"

Gaster Follower 3: "Well, I needn't gossip. After all, it's rude to talk about someone who's listening."

The Vault Dweller looks around franticly, but finds nothing. Very nervously, he rushes to the elevator. Once inside, he presses the button labeled L3. The elevator arrives at the destination in no time. The Vault Dweller steps out and finds another grey monster standing next to the elevator. This one has big eyes and an emotionless expression. His body almost resembles a stick figure with a box body and big head. He also speaks to the Vault Dweller.

Gaster Follower 1: "It makes sense why Asgore took so long to hire a new Royal Scientist. After all, the old one... Doctor Gaster. What an act to follow! They say he created the Core. However, his life... was cut short. One day, he fell into his creation, and..."

Vault Dweller: "Whatwhat!?"

Gaster Follower 1: "Will Alphys end up the same way?"

The Vault Dwellers face pales at the thought. He stumbles back and darts away. Not too far away he finds a spider girl standing behind a counter with two objects on it. A sign next to the stand reads "Spider Bake Sale All proceeds go to real spiders. The spider girl greets the Vault Dweller.

Muffet: "Welcome to out parlor, dearie~ Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders~"

On the table is some sort of powerful bracelet… Wait. It's just a croissant… The other object is a spider donut. It looks more… Rubbery than usual. A monster holding a doughnut and looking very disturbed is standing nearby.

Scared Donut Guy: "I… I… I ended up buying a donut… I… I… I didn't want to, but that girl… even though I told her no, she… kept staring at me in this creepy way and licking her lips. N… now I'm outta cash."

The Vault Dweller sees two webs advertising two things. "Spider Donut 9999GBC" and "Spider Cider 9999GBC".

Vault Dweller: (Holy Brahmin!)

The Vault Dweller ignores both and proceeds on. He finds another room filled with vent jumps and gets a call.

Alphys: "Hi, Alphys here! This room is like the room we saw before. There are two puzzles to the north and south… You'll have to solve them both to proceed!"

Vault Dweller: "Ok."

Alphys: "A-also… I'd like to say! I don't really… Like giving away puzzle solutions! But if you need help, just call me, ok? Actually, wait, I have an idea! Let's be friends on UnderNet! Then you can just ping me when you need help!… Wait, we're already friends, aren't we? I signed you up, didn't I? You've been reading my posts the whole time…"

Vault Dweller: "You. Have. No. I. Dea."

Alphys: "Well! I hope! You agree with me! About Mew Mew 2!"

Vault Dweller: "Alphys."

Alphys: "Y-yeah?"

Vault Dweller: "Just… Don't get carried away, alright?"

Alphys: "Huh? W-what do you mean by that?"

Vault Dweller: "Nothing, forget it." *Click*

The Vault Dweller vent jumps north, finds and solves the first puzzle. He then meets two diamond headed monsters talking about their favorite Mettaton Moments™. The Vault Dweller then makes his way to the south puzzle. After dodging a few blue lasers, he gets a call.

Alphys: "Hey! This um, doesn't have anything to do with guiding you… but… Uhh, hey, would you want to watch a human TV show together? Sometime? It's called, um, M… Mew Mew Kissy Cutie…"

Vault Dweller: "Sure, I haven't watched TV in… well… ever, really."

Alphys: "R-really!? It's so good! It's um, my favorite show! It's all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears! Which humans don't have! S-so she's all sensitive about them! But like… eventually! She realizes that her ears don't matter! That her friends like her despite the ears! It's really moving! Whoops, spoiler. Also, this sounds weird, but she has the power! To control the mind of anyone she kisses! She kisses people and controls them to fix her problems! They don't remember anything after the kiss I mean! BUT IF SHE MISSES THE KISS! THEN! Then, uh, and, uh, also I mean, of course Eventually she realizes that controlling people OKAY WELL I almost spoiled the whole show, but Uhhh, I think you'd really like it! We should watch it! After you get through all this!" *Click*

The Vault Dweller effortlessly solves the second puzzle and proceeds to the door. When he arrives the door opens and he goes through. He finds a save point in the next room. (The smell of cobwebs fills the air… You're filled with determination.) After saving, the Vault Dweller proceeds into a dark room filled with cobwebs. As he walks, he hears whispers in the darkness.

?: "Ahuhuhuhu... Did you hear what they just said? They said a human wearing a blue jumpsuit will come through. I heard that they hate spiders. I heard that they love to stomp on them."

The Vault Dweller continues onto a dense web on the ground. He only makes it a few steps before he is completely stuck inside the web.

Vault Dweller: *struggling* "Ugh… Can't… move…!"

?: "I heard…"

Suddenly, Muffet from the bake sale appears out of the darkness on a web in front of the Vault Dweller. A bunch of spiders also descend from above.

Muffet: "... that they're awfully stingy with their money. Ahuhuhuhu... You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don't you, deary? Ahuhuhu... I disagree with that notion. I think your taste... Is exactly what this next batch needs!"

Vault Dweller: "AGH!"

It's a FIGHT! Muffet traps you!

Vault Dweller: "Wait! You got it all wrong!"

Muffet: "Ahuhuhu! And why is that, dearie?"

Vault Dweller: *struggling in the web to free arms* "Ugh… because I…" *manages to get one of his arms lose and grabs his canteen* "Because I'm thirsty."

You take a sip from your trusty Vault 13 canteen.

Muffet: *Sniff* *Sniff* "Wait a second…" *Moves close to the Vault Dweller and wipes of some cider from his mouth and tastes it* "Where did you get this...? Did you steal it? Oh, my pet~ It's time to show them what we do with thieves~"

Vault Dweller: "Oh Sh-"

A spider carrying a letter runs up to Muffet.

Muffet: "Huh? A telegram from the spiders in the Ruins?... you helped donate to their cause! Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding~ I thought you were someone that hated spiders~ The person who asked for that SOUL... They must have meant a DIFFERENT human in a blue jumpsuit~ Sorry for all the trouble~ Ahuhuhu~ I'll make it up to you~ You can come back here any time... And, for no charge at all... I'll wrap you up and let you play with my pet again! Ahuhuhuhuhuhu~ Just kidding~ I'll SPARE you now~"

The Vault Dweller clicks MERCY and the battle is over.

Muffet: "Ahuhuhuhu... That was fun! See you again, dearie!"

Vault Dweller: "Wait! Before you go, can I ask you something?"

Muffet: "Mmmm… For a fee."

Vault Dweller: *Groan* *Hands over 10 GBC*

Muffet: "Ahuhuhu, marvelous~ Now, what was your question, dearie?"

Vault Dweller: "Who was it that hired you to take m-…that other humans SOUL?"

Muffet: "Ahuhuhu! Sorry dearie, they paid me extra not to tell anyone." *Disappears into the shadows*

Vault Dweller: "Dammit. Hmm… Traps activating for no reason, lots of pointless obstacles and now hired assassins…"

The Vault Dweller thinks heavily as he untangles himself from the web and will continue his adventure in the next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9: A Different Theater

Chapter 9: A Different Theater

The Vault Dweller proceeds to the next room and finds a poster identical to the one in Alphys lab. He groans when he enters the next room. Or should I say, when he enters stage left.

Mettaton: "OH? THAT HUMAN… COULD IT BE…?" *STEPS OUT FROM BEHIND A PROP ATOP SOME STAIRS WEARING A BLUE DRESS* "… MY ONE TRUE LOVE?" *DESCENDS THE STAIRS* Oh my love, Please run away, Monster King, forbids your stay. Humans must, Live far apart, Even if, It breaks my heart. They'll put you, In the dungeon, It'll suck, And then you'll die a lot. Really sad, You're gonna die, Cry cry cry, So sad it's happening. "SO SAD. SO SAD THAT YOU ARE GOING TO THE DUNGEON. WELL, TOODLES!" *PULLS OUT REMOTE AND PUSHES THE BUTTON ON IT*

Vault Dweller: "Wait, wha-" *Trap door opens up below him* "AAAAAAAaahh… I should have seen this coming."

The Vault Dweller lands on a piece of land connected to a conveyor belt and Mettaton descends from above and floats above the Vault Dweller.

Mettaton: "OH NO! WHATEVER SHALL I DO? MY LOVE HAS BEEN CAST AWAY INTO THE DUNGEON. A DUNGEON WITH A PUZZLE SO DASTARDLY, MY PARAMOUR WILL SURELY PERISH! O, HEAVENS HAVE MERCY! THE HORRIBLE COLORED TILE MAZE! EACH COLORED TILE HAS ITS OWN SADISTIC FUNCTION. FOR EXAMPLE, A GREEN TILE WILL SOUNDS A NOISE, AND THEN YOU MUST FIGHT A MONSTER. RED TILES WILL... ACTUALLY, WAIT A SECOND. DIDN'T WE SEE THIS PUZZLE ABOUT A HUNDRED ROOMS AGO?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, and it was busted."

Mettaton: "THAT'S RIGHT. BUT NOT THIS TIME, DARLING! YOU REMEMBER ALL THE RULES, DON'T YOU?"

Vault Dweller: "Uhh…"

Mettaton: "GREAT... THEN I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME REPEATING THEM! OH, AND YOU'D BETTER HURRY. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T GET THROUGH IN 30 SECONDS... YOU'LL BE INCINERATED BY THESE JETS OF FIRE!" *FIRE APPEARS BEHIND THE VAULT DWELLER* "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA... HA... HA! MY POOR LOVE! I'M SO FILLED WITH GRIEF, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!"

The Vault Dweller clenches his fists and rushes across the conveyor belt onto the colored tiled maze. With this one actually functional, the Vault Dweller has a little difficulty navigating. After one headache, multiple bites to the leg, the scent of oranges and lemons filling the air and a very annoyed look, the Vault Dweller manages to make it across the puzzle before the fire catches him.

Mettaton: "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE PUZZLE! AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, THE FLAMES BE DEACTIVATED! NO! MORE! FIRE! ... BUT IT'S AS THE PHRASE GOES. "OUT OF THE FIRE, AND INTO THE FRYING PAN." THAT'S RIGHT, DARLING! EVEN IF YOU MANAGE TO BEAT THE HEAT... YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND MY HOT METAL BODY! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MY-"

Ring…

Alphys: "Watch out! I'll save you! Flames, deactivate! ... ... huh?"

Mettaton: "THE HUMAN FINISHED THE PUZZLE. I ALREADY TURNED OFF THE FLAMES. IN FACT, I WAS ABOUT TO FIGHT THE HUMAN."

Alphys: "Wh-wh-what? TH-THAT puzzle? I mean, uhh... Great job! We've got him on the ropes, now!"

Mettaton: "ON THE ROPES? HA! I ONLY DEACTIVATED THE FLAMES KNOWING THAT ALPHYS WOULD HAVE ANYWAY. ... NOW, WHERE WERE WE? OH YES. I WAS GOING TO ERADICATE YOU!"

Vault Dweller: "AAAAAHHH-"

BATTLE! Mettaton attacks!

Mettaton: "THIS IS IT, DARLING! SAY GOODBYE!"

Phone rings.

Mettaton: "IS THAT YOUR PHONE? YOU'D BETTER ANSWER IT!"

Alphys: "H-Hey! Th-this seems bad, but don't worry! Th-there's one last thing I installed on your phone...! You see that yellow button...? Go to this phone's [ACT] menu and press it!"

The Vault Dweller selects ACT on the phone and pushes the yellow button. The Vault Dwellers soul slowly turns upside down then turns yellow.

Alphys: "Now press 'Z'!"

The Vault Dweller (And by that I mean I) presses Z and a few tiny projectiles shoot out of his soul.

Mettaton: "OOOH! OOOOOOOH! YOU'VE DEFEATED ME! HOW CAN THIS BE, YOU WERE STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT, ETC. WHATEVER." *ROLLS AWAY*

Battle ends…

Ring…

Alphys: "L-looks like you beat him! Y-you did a really great job out there."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah… Thanks Alphys."

Alphys: "H-hey! I'm serious, dude. You're like a hero straight out of an anime! It's been fun, watching you do the things you do and… helping out whenever I can… umm, h-hey, this might sound strange, but… c-can I tell you something?"

Vault Dweller: "Shoot."

Alphys: "… B-before I met you, I d-didn't really… I didn't really like myself very much. For a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up. L-like I couldn't do a-anything w-without… W-without letting everyone down."

Vault Dweller: "Alphys…"

Alphys: "B-but…! Guiding you has made me feel… A lot better about myself. So… thanks for letting me help you…."

Vault Dweller: "…"

Alphys: "Uhhh, anyway, we're almost to the CORE. It's just past MTT Resort. Come on! Let's finish this!"

Vault Dweller: "Right. Just a little farther…"

The Vault Dweller walks up some stairs and finds the two Royal Guards next to the Nicecream Man. They look happy, or at least I think they are. It's hard to tell with the armor. The Vault Dweller walks up some more stairs and finds a place reminding him of one of those destroyed hotels he saw on the surface. He sees a note on the ground and reads it. (Hey! Go up the creepy alleyway on the right for some great deals!) The Vault Dweller gives a 'really' look and notices sans standing next to the hotel entrance. He walks over to sans and greats him.

Vault Dweller: "Hey sans, long time no see."

sans: "hey. i heard you're going to the core. how about grabbing some dinner with me first?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, sounds good."

sans: "great, thanks for treating me."

Vault Dweller: "Son of a-"

sans: *walks slightly to the left then looks over his shoulder at the Vault Dweller* "over here. i know a shortcut."

The Vault Dweller follows sans and somehow end up sitting at a table.

sans: "well, here we are."

Vault Dweller: "…"

sans: "so. your journey's almost over, huh? you must really wanna go home."

Vault Dweller: "…" *looks down*

sans: "hey. I know that feeling, buddo."

Vault Dweller: *looks up* "?"

sans: "though… maybe it's better to take what's given to you. down here you've already got food, drink, friends… is what you have to do… really worth it?" *turns his head away*

Vault Dweller: "… No. It's not. I really wish I could stay."

sans: *turns his head back facing the vault dweller with a surprised/skeptical look on his face* "they why are ya trying so hard to leave?"

Vault Dweller: "Well… You see, before I met you I lived with a woman in the ruins. I loved her like a mother and we lived very happily together. I never wanted to leave. But… I started having strange nightmares."

sans: "nightmares?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah. On the surface I've been through a lot of stuff that would give someone PTSD and I've had nightmares before and learned to shrug them off, but these nightmares… There was something different about them."

sans: "what were they about?"

Vault Dweller: "They were strange images, more like flashes of different things I had never seen before. I saw two kids fading into nothing, a broken man cloaked in darkness, seven coffins, one empty, a vengeful king drowned in sorrow, a man with red eyes, and…" *looks down and closes his eyes*

sans: "yes?"

Vault Dweller: "A knife… covered in dust."

sans: "… well-"  
Vault Dweller: "That was the image that scared me the most. I come from a violent past and have done many things I am not proud of at all. I was afraid, not for myself, but for her. So I did the only thing that was right. I left."

sans: "… ah." *faint smile* "forget it. you do what ya gotta do, and you've shown true determination out there, so, i'm rootin' for ya, man. … hey, let me tell you a story. so i'm a sentry in snowdin forest, right?"

Vault Dweller: *nods* "Right."

sans: "right, so, i sit out there and watch for humans. it's kind of boring. fortunately, deep in the forest… there's this HUGE locked door. and it's perfect for practicing knock knock jokes. so one day, i'm knocking 'em out, like usual. i knock on the door and say 'knock knock.' and suddenly, from the other side… i hear a woman's voice."

Vault Dweller: "!"

sans: "'who is there?' so, naturally, I respond: 'dishes.' 'dishes who?' 'dishes a very bad joke.' then she just howls with laughter. like it's the best joke she's heard in a hundred years."

Vault Dweller: *laughs*

sans: "so i keep 'em coming, and she keeps laughing. she's the best audience i've ever had. then, after a dozen of 'em, SHE knocks and says… 'Knock knock!' i say 'whos there?' 'old lady!' 'old lady who?' 'oh! I did not know you could yodel!'"

Vault Dweller: *laughs slightly louder* *a single tear falls down his face*

sans: "wow. needless to say, this woman was extremely good. we kept telling each other jokes for hours. eventually, i had to leave. papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story. but she told me to come by again, so i did. then i did again. and again. it's a thing now. telling bad jokes through the door. it rules." *looks away*

Vault Dweller: *closes his eyes and remembers the nights he and Toriel would spend telling jokes* *smiles* another tear falls*

sans: *faces the Vault Dweller* "one day, though, i noticed she wasn't laughing very much."

Vault Dweller: *immediately opens his eyes and pays very close attention*

sans: "i asked her what was up. then she told me something strange. 'if a human ever comes through this door… could you please, please promise something? watch over them, and protect them, will you not?'"

Vault Dweller: *two tears fall*

sans: "now, i hate making promises. and this woman, i don't even know her name. but… someone who sincerely likes bad jokes… has an integrity you can't say 'no' to." *looks away*

Vault Dweller: "…"

sans: *looks back at the Vault Dweller* "do you get what i'm saying? that promise i made to her… you know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything?... buddy." *Turns Away* *Eyes Go Black* *Grim Silence* "… Y o u ' d."

Vault Dweller: "!" *Heart drops and races* *Eyes tremble* *breath grows short* *the Vault Dweller experiences true fear*

sans: "… hey, lighten up, bucko! i'm just joking with you."

Vault Dweller: *calms down, but does not feel like sans was joking at all*

sans: "besides… haven't i done a great job protecting you? i mean, look at yourself. you haven't died a single time. all thanks to me, heh heh."

Vault Dweller: *judgingly stares at sans*

sans: "heh." *walks away from the table* "well, that's all. take care of yourself, man. 'cause someone really cares about you." *starts to walk away*

Vault Dweller: "Hey sans."

sans: *stops* "yeah?"

Vault Dweller: "Her name is Toriel."

sans: *smiles and walks away*

The Vault Dweller actually decides to order something, eats and will continue on his quest in the next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10: Resort of Broken Dreams

Chapter 10: Resort of Broken Dreams

After the Vault Dweller finished eating his food (don't worry, he left a tip) he decides to walk around for a bit. He sees a 'Wall of Fame' full of quotes and photos from visiting celebrities. "The food is to die for!" "Gorgeous style and fragrance!" "My face tastes beautiful!" (… these are all Mettaton.) The Vault Dweller walks over to a monitor and sees some kind of TV show featuring Mettaton. He catches a monster standing next to plant in the corner of the room and decides to investigate. When he reaches him, he finds his appearance somewhat unnerving.

Vault Dweller: "Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing?"

Ficus Licker: "As I came in, I realized I forgot to make a reservation. But I didn't want to look like I messed up. So I kept walkin' in anyway. Now I'm just… kinda… Consuming dew off this ficus."

Vault Dweller: *snicker*

The Vault Dweller walks towards the stage and reads the bulletin board next to it. It's a performance schedule. Comedians, dancers, Sans… Seems there's a break now. The Vault Dweller walks over to a familiar looking monster.

Snowdrake's Father: "I'm the resort comedian. I'm very funny. People laugh at my jokes. Now, my son. He wants to be a comedian like his fathah. But his jokes. Aren't funny. He tells this awful puns. He's an embarrassment to our family. Ha ha ha ha… That's not funny."

Vault Dweller: "Listen up here you fat cunt."

Snowdrake's Father: "Since his mothah passed on, he couldn't stand. Living at home anymore. So he ran away. I haven't seen him since. I'm a terrible fathah. Ha ha ha ha… That's not funny."

Vault Dweller: "Well, let's just say your boy is… chillin'."

Snowdrake's Father: "I hate you."

The Vault Dweller walks away feeling accomplished and passes by a table with two monsters discussing their admiration and distain for puzzles. He decides to leave the restaurant and at this point he realizes he never really entered through the front door so he attempts to sneak by the receptionist, only to be stopped.

Fish Receptionist: "Blub blub… You'll have to reserve a table to eat here. You'll also need to reserve your chair, your silverware, your food, your…"

While the Fish Receptionists drones on about reserving EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING, DAMN YOU AJIT PAI! the Vault Dweller slips away out the restaurant. The Vault Dweller enters the lobby and sees a fountain with a cartoonish statue of Mettaton spitting water onto the floor. Also save point. (Despite the massive waste of water, the relaxing atmosphere of this hotel… it fills you with determination.) He sees the front door receptionist near, well, the front door (duh).

Diamond Receptionist: "Welcome to MTT Resort – Hotland's biggest apartment-building-turned-hotel! Whether you're here for a night or still live here, MTT Resort prides itself with a great stay!"

Vault Dweller: "I'm just passing through."

Diamond Receptionist: "Just passing through…? Nice! MTT Resort prides itself on being passed through!"

The Vault Dweller decides to walk outside. He inspects the way he and sans went to get into the restaurant and, well, just finds a regular wall. While walking back he finds a note on the ground. It reads "Hey! Go up the creepy alleyway on the right for some great deals!" After visiting many back ally shops in the wasteland, the Vault Dweller doesn't think twice and walks down the creepy alleyway. He is met with two monster girls, one with the appearance of a gator and the other a cat, both in humanoid female form.

Bratty and Catty: "Hey! Check it out! Yeah! Check it out!"

Vault Dweller: "So…"

Bratty: "So, like, what's up?"

Vault Dweller: "Tell me about you two."

Bratty and Catty: "I'm Bratty, and this is my best friend, Catty. I'm Catty, and this is my best friend, Bratty." *Pause* *Laugh*

Vault Dweller: "Riiight, now about your wares."

Bratty and Catty: "The stuff inside, is like... TOTALLY wicked expensive. But, like, this stuff we found is like... TOTALLY wicked cheap. You should... Like... TOTALLY wicked buy all of it? TOTALLY wicked buy all of it?"

Vault Dweller: "Where did you find all this stuff?"

Bratty and Catty: "I mean, like, where does anyone get guns, or food, or... We found it in the garbage!" *Flustered Pause* "It's GOOD garbage. It's like, really good garbage."

Vault Dweller: "And that garbage came from…?"

Bratty and Catty: "Where do we get the garbage? Like, the garbage store, duh!... Waterfall mostly. I found a gun in a dumpster!"

Vault Dweller: "A gun? May I see it?"

Catty: "Pft, yah."

Bratty: "But remember…"

Bratty and Catty: "You break it, you buy it!"

Catty hands the Vault Dweller an unusual weapon. It seems very makeshift with a wooden stock with a wide metal trigger. The "barrel" consists of a standard laser rifle housing with two metal-ringed lenses atop a metal rod extending from the stock, through which the laser beam is presumably focused. There does not seem to be a way to insert ammunition, but there is a crank in the back. The Vault Dweller turns the crank a few times and the inside of the glass compartment begins to glow red. A dim laser protrudes out of the laser barrel and stops at the front socket.

Bratty and Catty: "Like, omg!"

Vault Dweller: *extends his in a push back manner* "Stand back."

Bratty and Catty: *take a big step back*

Vault Dweller: *readies the gun* *aims it at a stack of cans* *fires*

The gun makes a loud crack noise and a focused burst of energy is shot out of the weapon towards the cans. Upon impact, the cans are flown in all directions and disintegrate.

Bratty and Catty: "OMG OMG OMG!"

Vault Dweller: *slightly unnerved by the disintegration* "So, some kind of 'laser musket'."

The Vault Dweller also notices a strange suit hanging on the dumpster.

Vault Dweller: *gun facing AWAY from Bratty and Catty* "How much for the gun and that suit on the dumpster?"

Bratty and Catty: "Like umm… 1300 GBCs!"

Vault Dweller: "Deal." *Tosses them a bag of golden bottle caps*

Catty: "Bratty! We're gonna be rich!"

The Vault Dweller holsters the laser musket and takes the suit off the dumpster. It is a dark blue overcoat with four gold stars on each side of the collar, worn over a white shirt with a black tie of some sort. On top of the shirt is a sturdy combat armor chest piece with a white star on it. There is also a tricorn hat. The Vault Dweller, despite better judgement, changes his clothes right in front of Bratty and Catty.

Bratty: *Blushing* "O. M-"

Catty: *Also blushing* "Dayum~."

Vault Dweller: *Finishing dressing by putting on the hat* *Looks at Bratty and Catty confused* "What?"

Bratty: *attempting to whistle and avoiding eye contact* "Like, nothing."

Catty: *blurts* "If Mattaton wasn't already my husband I would, like, TOTALLY smash with you!"

Bratty and Catty: "…"

Vault Dweller: "…"

…

Vault Dweller: *trying his best not to cringe* "Speaking of Mettaton…"

Bratty and Catty: "Oh my God. Mettaton. Oh my GOD, METTATON. He's like... My robot husband. Actually he's like... MY robot husband. I think we're like... both going to marry him. We're both like, ALREADY married to him. He just, like, doesn't know it yet. But hey, you could, like… Totally give us a booty call any time!" *seductive wink*

Vault Dweller: *awkward cold sweat* "Do you, well, know his true origins?"

Bratty and Catty: "So, like, Dr. Alphys built Mettaton, right? That's like, what they TELL you. But like... Mettaton always acts like... being built was HIS idea somehow. And even right after he was built... ... he acted like Alphys was an old friend. But they're like... Not friends anymore. Yeah! Unlike me and Bratty! Best friends for-EVER!"

Vault Dweller: (Mettaton has always seemed to act with a greater sense of autonomy than any of the robots I have encountered. What, or who, is the real Mettaton?) "You seem to have mixed opinions on Alphys. Do you know her?"

Bratty and Catty: "Oh my God. Alphys. Oh my god, ALPHYS. She used to live on our street. She was like a big sister. I mean, like, if your big sister... Takes you on trips to the dump. She showed us the coolest places to find trash. She was always collecting these weird cartoons. Then she became the Royal Scientist... Yeah, we haven't seen her in forever..."

Vault Dweller: "Why did she become the Royal Scientist?"

Bratty and Catty: "So Alphys has always, like... Thought ASGORE is a SUPER cutie. So, like, I'm pretty sure she... Made Mettaton to, like, totally impress him. A robot with a SOUL..."

Vault Dweller: (Soul!?)

Bratty and Catty: "That's, like, SUPER relevant to his hobbies! So after seeing Mettaton, ASGORE... Asked her to do all this science stuff for him! But nobody's, like, seen anything from her yet. Or... her at all... She must, like, just stay in her lab all day. Like, live a little, girl. Yeah! Like us!"

Vault Dweller: (A robot with a soul…) *deep breath* "So, about your king, ASGORE, what's he like?"

Bratty and Catty: "Oh my God. He's a total goober. He's a big, fuzzy goofball! Like, I LOVE that guy. He's like, SO nice. God, we're like... God, we're like... SO hyped for the destruction of humanity. SO hyped for the destruction of humanity."

Slightly unnerved by that last statement, the Vault Dweller leaves the alleyway and goes back into the resort. He walks around the lobby and attempts to take the elevator but discovers that it's not working. Three monsters are standing by it, all seemingly waiting for the elevator to restart.

Sad Dragon: *talking on phone* "Yeah, I'm not gonna be home tonight… um… I think there's some cold pizza in my treasure horde you can heat up…"

Vault Dweller: *to the Business Manticore* "Excuse me, where does this elevator go?"

Business Manticore: "This elevator goes straight to the capital."

Vault Dweller: *shocked grey like in anime*

Business Manticore: "But it stopped working. The hotel's doing its best to accommodate everybody stuck here."

The Vault Dweller regains his composure and heads over to the receptionist. Her head is a… hand. Well, the Vault Dweller's seen weirder.

Vault Dweller: "Hey, you know the elevators not working?"

Hand Receptionist: "Yes, we know. The elevator to the city is NOT working. Because of this incident, rooms are running at a special rate! 200GBC a room. Interested?"

Vault Dweller: "Sure." *pays the 200GBC*

Hand Receptionist: "Enjoy your stay!"

The Vault Dweller magically ends up in his room underneath the covers of a rather large bed. He… well… it's hard to say WHAT he's doing under the covers but he moves around quite a lot and eventually falls onto the floor. He exits his room feeling rested (please don't make me elaborate) and sees a janitor made of slime displaying the fruitlessness of existence. Out of some kind of morbid curiosity, the Vault Dweller decides to knock on the other doors. Door 1.

?: "Oooooaaah ! Room service ! Got my 'Sea Tea' ?

Vault Dweller: *oddly enough, does. where and when did you get that? you know what, just don't question it* *not being invited in and lacking a battering ram, the Vault Dweller does the only sensible thing and pours the Sea Tea under the door*

?: "HUH !? That's just the way I want ! Here's a tip ."

The Vault Dweller gets 99GBC.

Door 3.

?: "Oooooaaah ! Room service ! Got my 'Cinnamon Bun' ?"

Vault Dweller: *yes, he has this item as well* *displays another outstanding feet of rational and flattens the Cinnamon Bun until it's paper thin and slides it under the door*

?: "HUH !? That's just the way I want ! Here's a tip .

Gets another 99GBC.

The last door has some guys talking about croquette rolls with a dog sniffing under the door. The Vault Dweller puts a Hot Dog in front of the door as some kind of weird revenge plot when a white paw shoots out from under the door. It tries to pull the Hot Dog into its room… But it keeps pressing down too hard, and the hot dog keeps spinning away. … It finally succeeds. … The grinding of stone can be heard. A single hushpuppy slides out from under the door. The Vault Dweller got a Hush Puppy. Now that food is on his mind, the Vault Dweller enters the restaurant next to the elevator. It looks like kinda like those pictures of fast food joints the Vault Dweller has seen in pre-war ads. There is a cat monster as the register and he looks like he gave up on life.

Burgerpants: "Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day (TM)."

Vault Dweller: "Uh, yeah, hi."

Burgerpants: "What can I do for you, buddy?"

Vault Dweller: *having spent way too much time in the in the wasteland* "So what can I sell…"

Burgerpants: *inter and externally shaking with pent up frustration, rage and depression* (WHY IS THIS PERSON TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING THIS IS A HAMBURGER RESTAURANT I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE)

Vault Dweller: *holds up the Hush Puppy* "How many golden bottle caps for this?"

Burgerpants: "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE."

Vault Dweller: [Speech 10/10] "Woah, ok, calm down pal."

Burgerpants: "I'm sorry, (Ha ha) it's against the rules to talk to customers who haven't bought anything."

Vault Dweller: *sits on one of the bar stools* "I'm guessing you don't get a lot of chances to shoot the breeze, eh?"

Burgerpants: "What? Why do you keep trying to talk to me? I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers. Sorry. ... SO, I wanted to be an ACTOR."

Vault Dweller: *feeling sorry for him* "An actor you say?"

Burgerpants: *starts smoking a joint* "Take it from me, bud."

Vault Dweller: *now just plain messing with him* "Got any life advice?"

Burgerpants: "I'm getting on in years, so let me give you some advice, bud. You're in your prime. Don't live like me. I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life."

Vault Dweller: "And what about your love-life?"

Burgerpance: "Listen. I like you, buddy. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble. Never interact with attractive people. Unless you're "one of them," they're just gonna take advantage of you. Like that time those two chicks asked me to sneak them some glamburgers. And I, naive teenager that I was, said yes to them. Bad idea."

Vault Dweller: "Two chicks? You mean Bratty and Catty?"

Burgerpants: "Mhmmm. Why not try selling your shit to those two alleyway bitches?"

Vault Dweller: "Strong opinion you seem to have on them. What exactly happened when you tried to sneak them these burgers?"

Burgerpants: "So I went out to the alley to see those bitches, and uh... you know, see what'd happen next. ... Then my boss, uh, saw me and asked me what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground. Not wanting to lose face, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers... caused my FUCKING pants to fall down. Then those WHORES laughed at ME. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now. FUCKING BURGERPANTS. Toby Fox didn't even give me a real name. Every motherfucker calls me burgerpants *sic* now. But you won't, will you, buddy?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah… (Burgerpants)" *snicker* Anyways, you said you wanted to be an actor. Did you try asking Mettaton?"

Burgerpants: *expression goes stale* "When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton. ... Well, be careful what you wish for, buddy!"

Vault Dweller: "So your wish came true I take it. Aside from working a fryer, why do you hold such a vendetta against Mettaton?"

Burgerpants: "God, have you even looked around? This place is a labyrinth of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says 'that's not how they do it on the surface.' Oh! Right! Humans are always eating hamburgers made of SEQUINS AND GLUE."

Vault Dweller: "Well… Anyways, why else is Metta bad?"

Burgerpants: "Why do people find him so attractive? He's literally just a fucking rectangle. ... You know, one time, I bought one of those, uh, kits online... to... Uh, make yourself more rectangular. ... They don't work."

Vault Dweller: "Don't… work?"

Burgerpants: "Let's not talk about this."

Vault Dweller: "Alright, enough of this negative crap, what plans do you have for your future?"

Burgerpants: "Future? WHAT future? Nothing down here ever changes. I'll probably be trapped at this stupid fucking job forever. ... But wait! There's one thing that keeps me going! If ASGORE-"

Vault Dweller: (Not this shit again)

Burgerpants: "-gets just one more SOUL, we'll finally get to go to the surface! It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone! So stay strong, buddy. When I make it big, I'll keep you in mind." *winks*

Having once again been reminded that his very SOUL could be snatched away from his body and not be able to even DIE, the Vault Dweller leaves the restaurant and takes a walk outside. He ends up back in the alleyway and starts chatting with Bratty and Catty.

Vault Dweller: "Hey, you girls know Burgerpants?"

Bratty and Catty: "Oh, that guy from the store? Yuck, what a creep. Yeah! He's a creep! But he's kind of cute, too... C'mon Catty, don't you have ANY standards? Nope!"

Vault Dweller: *ego having taken some damage* "Ok, so, I know of that incident with the Glamburgers, but why haven't you guys tried to reconnect?"

Bratty and Catty: "OK, like, the annoying thing is... He'd be OK if he just treated us with some respect. But he just acts... Really weird. And then acts like it's OUR fault he acts that way! Like, when we asked him to get those Glamburgers... He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything! We were, like, going to share them. Really? I wasn't. Catty!"

Vault Dweller: "So what if you tried to hang out with Burgerpants again?"

Bratty and Catty: "Oh, uh... Yeah! He should come look for junk with us! But like, if we let him hang out with us... I just worry it'll... be really super fun! Um, that was NOT what I was gonna say. But I was close, right !?"

Vault Dweller: "Aside from his general pessimistic view of life and relative douchbaginess, what is it about that kind of guy that turns you off?"

Bratty and Catty: "Well, that kind of guy... You hang out with him once, then he wants to hang out... All. The. Time. But don't you feel bad for him, Bratty? Poor Burgerpants... Think about how cool we are compared to him! We'd be saving his LIFE with our friendship! His LIFE, Bratty! Uh, so? ... Think of all the glamburgers he could get for us!... so is he free after work?"

Vault Dweller: "I'll check." *leaves and returns to Burgerpants who is still at the restaurants cash register* "Hey man, I just talked to Bratty and Catty."

Burgerpants: "Huh? Yeah, those two vendors in back. The girls. NOT the Nice Cream guy. He keeps coming in here and asking me stuffs like, 'Hey Burgy, what do you think of this joke for my next ice cream wrapper?' Joke? Why are you calling it a JOKE? You drew a picture of two dudes hugging and wrote 'I love hugs!' on it. You somehow understand comedy EVEN LESS than that guy who keeps going on stage and crying about his family. Anyway, I, uh, just tell him that they are good, because he gives me the nice cream for free afterward..."

Vault Dweller: "Riiight, well, Bratty and Catty where talking about you-"

Burgerpants: "The girls were... Talking about me... ?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes, and they said you should stop acting like a total dick and blaming them for your own fuckup."

Burgerpants: "They say I should stop acting like they owe me..."

Vault Dweller: "They want to be friends with you, but just try and see things from their perspective, ok?"

Burgerpants: "...Wow. Poor, naive buddy. They've brainwashed you. 'Friendship' is just a hot person's way of making you their slave."

Vault Dweller: *grabs Burgerpants by his collar and shakes him vigorously* "LISTEN UP HERE YOU FAT ORANGE CUNT. STOP BEING SUCH A JACKASS FOR TWO GOD DAMN MINUTES AND TRY AND MAKE SOME FUCKING FRIENDS."

Burgerpants: *nauseated* "...So, uh, what time would they wanna hang out? Well? Don't keep me waiting, buddy!" *vomits*

Vault Dweller: "They said whenever you get off of work."

Burgerpants: "They wanna hang out after work? Ha! Ahahaha! Yes! I won't let you down! Buddy... thank you. You've brought a tear to the eye of this old man. So, uh, where do they want to go?"

Vault Dweller: "The garbage dump."

Burgerpants: "…They want to hang out at the garbage dump... Well, nowhere to go but up, right, buddy?"

Vault Dweller: "Yup. Well, later 'buddy.'"

Burgerpants: "Any time, buddy."

The Vault Dweller walks out of the restaurant and stares at the entrance to the infamous CORE. With the elevator to the city in the resort down, the Vault Dweller must search for another way to get to New Home. He trembles a little, but he clenches his fist, gathers his determination enters the CORE. His journey is coming to an end. Find out what dark secrets await in the core in the next chapter.


	11. Chapter 11: Core Meltdown

Chapter 11: Core Meltdown

The Vault Dweller stepped cautiously through a door in the back of the hotel with a big-ass sign that says "CORE" above it. He was greeted by a balcony with a bridge over an abyss of darkness leading to the Core. Before the Vault Dweller crosses, he spots two shadowy figures standing by the Cores entrance. Suddenly, the Vault Dwellers phone goes off and the figures retreat into the Core.

Alphys: "Huh? Who are they? N-nobody else is s-supposed to be here…"

Vault Dweller: "Wait, this place doesn't have guards or a maintenance crew?"

Alphys: "Oh well! We can't worry about that now!"

Click…

Vault Dweller: "How rude."

The Vault Dweller crosses the bridge. The wood becomes pipes as the Vault Dweller gets closer to the core. At the entrance, the Vault Dweller is greeted with a very uneasy feeling, as though things just got dark. Despite all the lights on, things just seem dark, darker, yet darker. The darkness keeps growing. The shadows cutting deeper… The Vault Dweller faints.

ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN

DARK

DARKER

YET DARKER

THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING

THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER

PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE

THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT

SEEMS

VERY

VERY

INTERESTING

…

WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK

TIM

TOBY

Ring… Ring…

Vault Dweller: *slowly opens his eyes* "mhmm…"

The Vault Dweller awakens on the floor in front of the Core with his phone ringing on the ground beside him.

Vault Dweller: *picks up the phone* "mhm, hello?"

Alphys: "OMG, ARE YOU OK!? YOU JUST FAINTED AND YOU'VE BEEN OUT FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS! WHAT HAPPENED!?"

Vault Dweller: "I… I don't know. Everything just seemed to go dark and…"

Alphys: "And?"

Vault Dweller: "Hey Alphys."

Alphys: "Y-yeah?"

Vault Dweller: "Does the name 'Gaster' mean anything to you?"

Alphys: "…"

Vault Dweller: "Alphys? You there?"

Alphys: "Huh? Oh! Ha ha! Very funny! W-well I'm glad to see you're feeling better, now get a move on! The capital's just beyond the Core. Heheheh…" *Click*

Vault Dweller: "…" *closes phone* "Dark, darker, yet darker… because the light got too bright."

The Vault Dweller enters the core.

Ring…

Alphys: "Ready? This is it! Take the elevator up to the top of the CORE!"

Click…

The Vault Dweller tries to use the elevator but it isn't working.

Alphys: "What? The elevator should be working… W-well then! Let's go to the left!"

Click…

The Vault Dweller uses Science [100] and Repair [100] on the elevator and fixes it.

Ring…

Alphys: "W-w-w-w-what!? H-how did- this wasn't- you where-"

Vault Dweller: "Enough."

Alphys: "…!"

Click.

The Vault Dweller enters the elevator and arrives at the top of the core. He finds a door with a big symbol on it and a save point.

(Behind this door must be the elevator to the King's castle. You're filled with determination.)

The Vault Dweller enters the door. He is met with a dimly-lit room with neon lights that reveal the rooms outline. He walks forwards and is confronted by Mettaton, who seems to have been expecting him.

Mettaton: "OH YES. THERE YOU ARE, DARLING. A BIT AHEAD OF SCHEDULE, BUT I DON'T LIKE TO KEEP MY FANS WAITING EITHER. IT'S TIME TO HAVE OUR LITTLE SHOWDOWN. IT'S TIME TO FINALLY STOP THE "MALFUNCTIONING" ROBOT."

Vault Dweller: "If only that where true."

Mettaton: "OH? FIGURED IT OUT HAVE WE?"

Vault Dweller: "Malfunction? Reprogramming? Get real. This was all just a big show. An act. Alphys has been playing me for a fool the whole time. But the evidence I came across was overwhelming. Alphys is an introvert. She has few friends and even less motivation. She uses cartoons and video games as an escape from a dull reality so excitement in the real world is a rarity to her. But then she discovered me when I left 'Home' by watching me through hidden cameras and she grew attached to my adventure. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. So she decided to insert herself into my story by reactivating puzzles, disabling elevators and enlisting you to torment me. All so she could 'save' me from dangers that didn't exist. All so I would think she's a great person and not… like 'him'.

Mettaton: "HIM?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes. Him. Doctor W.D Gaster. The original royal scientist. He was so invested in research and inventions that he stopped at nothing to achieve his dreams but in the end he succumbed to his sins and paid a price worse than death. She wanted to prove herself different but ended up just repeating history. And she still hasn't learned anything. I know she's waiting outside that door ready to interrupt our inevitable battle and pretend to deactivate you and save me one final time. She'll be the heroine of my adventure. I'll regard her so highly she'll even be able to convince me not to leave…. but I won't let her make the same mistake Gaster did. I've had enough of this predictable charade. You're not a killer. You're an entertainer."

Mettaton: "HEH… HEH HEH… HAHAHA! WELL, LOOK WHO FIGURED OUT ALL THE BIG SECRETS! YOU THINK I'M IMPRESSED? A F*CKING BABY COULD FIGURE THIS SO CALLED 'MYSTERY OUT! THOUGH, I AM SURPRISED YOU FIGURED OUT THE IDENTITY OF THE LATE DR. GASTER. BUT IT MATTERS NOT! THE AUDIENCE DESERVES A GOOD SHOW, DON'T THEY?"

Vault Dweller: "And what's a good show… without a plot twist." *pushes a button on his Pip-Boy*

The door that lead into this room closes behind the Vault Dweller. From behind the door…

Alphys: "H-hey! Wh-wh-what's going on!? Th-th-the door just locked itself!"

Red colored lights turn on and surround Mettaton but the spotlight descends on the Vault Dweller. He grabs Mettatons microphone.

Vault Dweller: "Sorry, folks. The old Program's been cancelled. But we've got a final that will drive you wild."

The Vault Dweller throws Mettaton his microphone and the stage begins to rise."

Mettaton: "REAL… DRAMA! REAL… ACTION!" *GLARES MENACINGLY AT THE VAULT DWELLER* REAL… BLOODSHED! ON OUR NEW SHOW… 'ATTACK OF THE KILLER ROBOT!'"

It's battle time, darlings! Mettaton attacks!

The Vault Dweller burns Mettaton (verbally) but that might be what he's gonna do if he continues on in this manner.

Mettaton: "IT IS A SHAME YOU BYPASSED THE CORE. YOU SEE, IT IWAS I WHO RE-ARRANGED IT AND HIRED THOSE MONSTERS TO KILL YOU! THAT, HOWEVER, WAS A SHORT-SIGHTED PLAN. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER?"

Vault Dweller: "A documentary on mole-rats?"

Mettaton: "WHAT? NO. KILLING YOU MYSELF!"

The Vault Dweller fires some yellow projectile out of his soul… but they do nothing.

Mettaton: "THAT WORTHLESS PEA-SHOOTER WON'T WORK ON ME, DARLING."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, I know. I just wanted to mess with you."

Mettaton gives a "this bitch" pose.

The Vault Dweller examines Mettaton. His DEF is 999 making him invulnerable to all attacks. Even the Vault Dweller cannot damage him.

Mettaton: "LISTEN, DARLING. I'VE SEEN YOU FIGHT. YOU MAY BE PHYSICALLY STRONG, BUT YOU'RE MIND IS WEAK. IF YOU CONTINUE FORWARD, ASGORE WILL USE THAT WEAKNESS TO TAKE YOUR SOUL. AND WITH YOUR SOUL, ASGORE WILL DESTROY HUMANITY."

Mettaton unleashes a bunch of box projectiles but the Vault Dweller shoots them before they can hit his soul.

Mettaton: "BUT IF I GET YOUR SOUL, I CAN STOP ASGORE'S PLAN! I CAN SAVE HUMANITY FROM DESTRUCTION!"

Vault Dweller: "I think there's a problem with BOTH your plans."

Mettaton swings at the Vault Dweller but misses.

Mettaton: "NONSENSE! USING YOUR SOUL, I'LL CROSS THROUGH THE BARRIER… AND BECOME THE STAR I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING! HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS…"

Vault Dweller: "Tens…"

Mettaton: "NO! MILLIONS OF HUMANS WILL WATCH ME! GLITZ! GLAMOUR! I'LL FINALLY HAVE IT ALL! SO WHAT IF A FEW PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE? THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS, BABY!"

Vault Dweller: "I take it back, you'll fit in perfectly on the surface."

The Vault Dweller's phone rings…

Alphys: "U..uh… I can't see what's going on in there, but… D-d-don't give up, okay!? Th… there's o-one l-l-last way to beat Mettaton… It's… um… it's… This is a work in-progress, so don't judge it too hard…"

Vault Dweller: *closes metacritic*

Alphys: "But, you know how Mettaton always faces f-f-forward? That's because there's a switch on his backside. S-s-so if y-y-you c-c-can turn him around… um… And, umm… press th-th-th-the switch…"

Vault Dweller: "I can turn him off! Thanks Alphys."

Alphys: "W-w-w-wai-"

Click…

Vault Dweller: "Hey Mettaton, there's a mirror behind you."

Mettaton: "OH? A MIRROR? RIGHT, I HAVE TO LOOK PERFECT FOR OUR GRAND FINALE!" *TURNS AROUND* "HMM... I DON'T SEE IT... WHERE IS IT...?"

Vault Dweller: *flips the switch on Mettatons back* "Ah ha!"

Mettaton: "DID YOU. JUST FLIP. MY SWITCH?"

Mettaton does not turn off. He grabs his head and begins to shake violently. The room turns blindingly white.

Mettaton: "OOOOOOH YEEEEEESS"

Spotlights descend from above and shine on some smoke that suddenly appears. From inside the smoke a shadow can be seen.

Vault Dweller: "Oh shit. What have I done…?"

Mettaton: "Ohhhh my. If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're desperate for the premiere of my new body. How rude... Lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time. So... as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward. I'll make your last living moments..."

The fog clears, revealing Mettaton in his new body. It is an attractive humanoid body but is still clear of its robotic nature.

Mettaton: "ABSOLUTELY beautiful!"

Mettaton EX makes his premiere! A ratings board appears above the stage.

Mettaton: "Lights! Camera! Action! Drama! Romance! Bloodshed! I'm the idol everyone craves!"

Mettaton unleashes a flurry of fabulous attacks. The Vault Dweller dodges the attacks with multiple soul shots and does some sweet poses. The audience loves it! The ratings go up.

Vault Dweller: *boast* "I ain't gonna get hit at all this round! Bring it Metta-chump!"

Mettaton: "Ohoho! Smile for the camera!"

Mettaton unleashes more attacks. The Vault Dweller does not disappoint.

Mettaton: "Oooh, it's time for a pop quiz! I hope you brought a keyboard... This one's an essay question!"

ESSAY PROMPT: Why do you love most about Mettaton?

The camera gives the Vault Dweller a side angle as if he's being interviewed.

Vault Dweller: "Well, I've known Mettaton for a long time. We go way back! It all started about fifteen years ago when-"

Mettaton: *interrupts the interview* "Nice. You get a gold star."

Vault Dweller: *annoyed look at the camera* "Stay away from daytime television, folks."

Mettaton: "Your essay really showed everyone your heart. Why don't I show you mine?"

A heart-shaped object floats out of Mettatons body.

Vault Dweller: "Gotcha."

The Vault Dweller shoots multiple soul shots at Mettatons soul. He gets a decent amount of hits in before it retreats back to Mettatons body.

Mettaton: "Oooh, I'm just warming up! But how are you on the dance floor? Can you keep up the pace!?"

A disco ball descends from the ceiling and lasers protrude out of it. Actual lasers. That hurt. But the Vault Dweller's swing'n dance moves keep him out of harm's way. The ratings go up.

Mettaton: "Lights! Camera! Bombs! Things are blowing up!"

The Vault Dweller insults the audience's mother as bombs fall on the stage. He is hit several time causing the ratings to sky rocket.

Mettaton: "Time for our union-regulated break!"

The camera cuts to commercial for many grand 19.95 dollar ideas while the Vault Dweller and Mettaton hang out by the Hors d'oeuvre table.

Vault Dweller: *munching on a doughnut* "So, what did you think about Far Cry 5?"

Mettaton: *checking his internet fame on a smartphone* "I thought the gameplay was fabulous, but the endings left a lot to be desired."

Mercury Freelancer: *walks into the shot as the camera follows* "Ok people, let's get back to it! Places, places."

The Vault Dweller and Mettaton return to the stage.

Vault Dweller: "Ok, I was here."

Mettaton: "No, over there."

Vault Dweller: *gets makeup applied quickly by an assistant*

Mettaton: *stretching*

Mercury Freelancer: "Ok people, resuming Act 11 Mettaton Battle."

Assistant Temmie: *holding a director's clapboard in front of the camera* "Fallout Undertale Act 11 Mettaton Battle, take 3." *claps the board and pulls it away from the camera*

Mercury Freelancer: "Aaaaaand… action!"

Fight resumes

Mettaton: "We've grown so distant, darling... How about another heart-to-heart?"

Mettaton unleashes his soul again and the Vault Dweller hits it with a barrage of soul shots. Mettaton takes so much damage that his arms explode off his body.

Vault Dweller: "Well Mettaton, it seems you've been…" *puts on sunglasses* "disarmed!"

Bad Pun -100 ratings

Mettaton: "A.. arms? Wh... who needs arms with legs like these? I'm still going to win! Come on...! The show... must go on! Dr... Drama! A... Action! L... lights... C... camera..."

Mettaton and the Vault Dweller continue to battle fabulously despite Mettaton losing his arms. The ratings gradually go up.

Mettaton: "Enough of this! Do you really want humanity to perish!? ... or do you just believe in yourself that much?"

Vault Dweller: "Humanity has already perished at its own hands! But I still fight on, because when the world is engulfed in darkness, it is up to the survivors to light the way to a brighter future!"

Mettaton: "Haha, how inspiring! Well, darling! It's either me or you! But I think we both already know who's going to win. Witness the true power of humanity's star!"

Mettaton unleashes his soul again, this time accompanied with a significant barrage of attacks. However, the Vault Dweller still manages to get in a decent number of soul shots on the heart, causing Mettaton to lose his legs.

Mettaton: "... then... Are YOU the star? Can you really protect humanity!?"

Vault Dweller: *remembering the surface and being exiled from Vault 13* "… I don't even know if there is a humanity to protect anymore." *falls to a knee*

The moment of true feeling causes the ratings to jump over 10,000.

Mettaton: "OOH, LOOK AT THESE RATINGS! THIS IS THE MOST VIEWERS I'VE EVER HAD! WE'VE REACHED THE VIEWER CALL-IN MILESTONE! ONE LUCKY VIEWER WILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO TALK TO ME... ... BEFORE I LEAVE THE UNDERGROUND FOREVER! LET'S SEE WHO CALLS IN FIRST!"

Ring…

Mettaton: "HI, YOU'RE ON TV! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ON THIS, OUR LAST SHOW?"

A Familiar Voice: "... oh... hi... mettaton... I really liked watching your show... my life is pretty boring, but... seeing you on the screen... brought excitement to my life... vicariously I can't tell, but... I guess this is the last episode...? I'll miss you... mettaton... ... oh... I didn't mean to talk so long... oh..." *Hang up*

Mettaton: "NO, WAIT! WAIT, BL... H... THEY ALREADY HUNG UP. ... I'LL TAKE ANOTHER CALLER!"

Unknown callers: "Mettaton, your show made us so happy!" "Mettaton, I don't know what I'll watch without you." "Mettaton, there's a Mettaton-shaped hole in my Mettaton-shaped heart."

Vault Dweller: "Mettaton… I know what it's like to leave behind people who care about you. The surface is full of people who will never show you the same love as the monsters who have come to know you as their idol. Please… don't make the same mistake I did."

Inside, the Vault Dweller felt the purest sadness anyone could ever feel. Tears ran down his face as he tried to contain his emotions.

Mettaton: "AH... I... I SEE... ..." *FACES THE CAMERA* "EVERYONE... THANK YOU SO MUCH." *FACES THE VAULT DWELLER* "... DARLING. PERHAPS... IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF I STAY HERE A WHILE. HUMANS… ALREADY HAVE STARS AND IDOLS, MUCH LIKE YOURSELF…"

Vault Dweller: "!"

Mettaton: "BUT MONSTERS... THEY ONLY HAVE ME. IF I LEFT... THE UNDERGROUND WOULD LOSE ITS SPARK. I'D LEAVE AN ACHING VOID THAT COULD NEVER BE FILLED. SO... I THINK I'LL HAVE TO DELAY MY BIG DEBUT. BESIDES. YOU'VE PROVEN TO BE VERY STRONG. PERHAPS... EVEN STRONG ENOUGH TO GET PAST ASGORE. I'M SURE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO PROTECT WHAT'S LEFT OF HUMANITY AND BE THAT STAR THAT WILL GUIDE THEM TO A BRIGHTER FUTURE. HA, HA... IT'S ALL FOR THE BEST, ANYWAY. THE TRUTH IS, THIS FORM'S ENERGY CONSUMPTION IS... INEFFICIENT. IN A FEW MOMENTS, I'LL RUN OUT OF BATTERY POWER, AND... WELL. I'LL BE ALRIGHT. KNOCK 'EM DEAD, DARLING. AND EVERYONE... THANK YOU. YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE!"

Vault Dweller: *gets up, walks over to Mettaton, drops down onto both knees in front of Mettaton and embraces him*

Mettaton: *…smiles* *shuts down*

Alphys: "I... I managed to open the lock! Are you two... Oh my god. Mettaton! Mettaton, are you..." *rushes over to Mettaton and inspects him thoroughly as the Vault Dweller relinquishes his grip and stands up* "... thank GOD, it's just the batteries. Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have... I would have... ... I m-mean, h-hey, it's no problem, you know? He's just a robot, if you messed it up, I c-could always... J-just build another."

Vault Dweller: "No. Nothing can replace the undergrounds darling."

Alphys: "... Why don't you go on ahead?"

The Vault Dweller proceeds to the door behind the stage. He enters a corridor and after walking down it for a bit, Alphys catches up to him.

Alphys: "S… sorry about that! L-let's k-keep going!"

Vault Dweller: "… Right."

The Vault Dweller continues walking down the corridor while Alphys follows close behind. S-so you're about to meet ASGORE, h-huh? You must be… Y-you must be…"

Vault Dweller: "Scared."

Alphys: "!..."

The Vault Dweller and Alphys walk a bit more down the corridor.

Alphys: "You'll f-f-finally… You'll finally get to go home!"

Vault Dweller: *under his breath* "… I'll never get to go home ever again."

The Vault Dweller and Alphys reach the elevator to the Capital.

Alphys: "W… Wait! I mean, um… I… I was just going to… um… Say goodbye, and… I can't take this anymore." *turns her back to the Vault Dweller and sadly looks at the floor.* "I…"

Vault Dweller: "Lied to me. I know."

Alphys: "No, not about that. About the barrier."

Vault Dweller: "What do you mean?"

Alphys: "A human SOUL isn't strong enough to cross the barrier alone. It takes at least a human soul… And a monster soul."

Vault Dweller: *closes his eyes softly and clenches his fist tightly*

Alphys: *faces the Vault Dweller* "… If you want to go home…"

Vault Dweller: "I'll have to take his soul. I'll have to kill ASGORE."

Alphys: "Yes…" *slowly walks away from the Vault Dweller* "I'm sorry." *runs away*

Vault Dweller: "…" *stands in front of the elevator for a few moments. he recalls his journey up to this point. all the friends he made, all the monsters he spared despite his life being threatened multiple times. his strength, his weakness, his determination…*

The Vault Dweller walks into the elevator and hits the button to go to the Capital.

Brace yourselves.


	12. Chapter 12: Ultimatum

Chapter 12: Ultimatum

The Vault Dweller stepped into the elevator. He pushed the button on the panel that was labeled "Castle". The elevator ride lasted for a few moments and stopped at the Castle. The elevator door opens and the Vault Dweller steps out. He is greeted with a grey corridor lined with cement bricks. He walks down the corridor and finds a save-point where the room turns into another corridor.

Saved.

The Vault Dweller walks down the corridor and reaches… the Capital, New Home. The city is grey and the atmosphere is quiet, but the Vault Dweller does not feel lonely. He walks down a city street leading to the Castle. The city is quiet yet alive. Isn't that strange? The Vault Dweller reaches a place that looks all too familiar. There is a save point in front of it.

Saved.

The Vault Dweller walks in. He is greeted with a grey house that reminds him of somewhere. Somewhere that he left behind. Somewhere that he felt… happy. A tear is shed. The dull grey ambience is broken when the Vault Dweller lays eyes on something in the corner. It's a golden flower. The stairs going down are blocked with two padlocks. There's a note attached.

"Howdy! I'm in the garden. If you have anything you need to get off your chest, please don't hesitate to come. The keys are in the kitchen and hallway."

This note… The Vault Dweller walks into the hallway. He finds more pots with golden flowers in them. He enters the first room. There are two beds in the room, a drawing of a golden flower on the wall, a bureau, some dusty toys and a photo on top of a dresser. There are also two presents wrapped in red bows sitting on the floor. They seem out of place. The Vault Dweller opens one of the presents. There is a pair of military dog tags accompanied with a heart-shaped locket on a ball chain inside the box. Will you take it?

Vault Dweller: *takes it*

You got the Dog Tags. Upon closer inspection, one of the dog tags says "Hell Razor, Desert Rangers, Echo Squad, ID#1988, Rank: Supreme Jerk". It is written in proper military engraving. The second dog tag is written in hand made engravings from a knife. It says "Asriel Dreemurr, Kingdom of Monsters, Edward Squad, ID#2015, Rank: Crown Prince" The Vault Dweller inspects the locket. It says "Best Friends Forever" on the outside. On the inside, there are two pictures. One of a man dressed in unfamiliar military attire. The other is of a monster that bears a resemblance to someone we left a long time ago but never forgot. In fact, the picture on the dresser over there is a family photograph with the two present. Everyone is smiling. The Vault Dweller looks inside the second box. There's an unusual and very poorly kept gun inside the box. Will you take it?

Vault Dweller: *takes it*

You got the Worn M1989A1 Nato Assault Rifle. The Vault Dweller unequips the Minutemen General outfit (putting him in his Vault 13 Jumpsuit) and Laser Musket. He puts on the Dog Tags on and equips the Worn M1989A1 Nato Assault Rifle. The Vault Dweller exits the room. He walks down the hallway further and sees a door with a sign on it that say "Room under renovations." He spots a key on a table and attempts to pick it up but is suddenly stopped.

It is not a fight. Two Froggits appear.

Froggit 1: "A long time ago, a human fell into the RUINS."

Froggit 2: "Injured by its fall, the human called out for help."

The Froggits left.

The Vault Dweller takes the key and puts it on his phone's key-chain. There is a mirror on the wall. Despite everything, it's still you. The Vault Dweller enters the third room. It has a desk, a king-sized bed, a dressers, a bureau with golden flowers on top, and a trophy sitting on the ground. On the desk, the Vault Dweller finds ASGORE's journal. All the current page says is 'Nice day today!' The ink is still almost wet. The trophy on the ground reads "Number 1 Nose-Nuzzle Champs '98!" In the clothes drawer, there are robes, button-up shirts… and a pink, hand-knit sweater that says "Mr. Dad Guy." Inside the bureau is a Santa Claus outfit. There is also some macaroni art of a flower on the wall. 'For King Dad!' it says on the bottom. The Vault Dweller exits the room and walks back down the hall to the kitchen, but before he can leave the hall…

They come in peace. Two Whimsun float in the path.

Whimsun 1: "ASRIEL, the king's son, heard the human's call."

Whimsun 2: "He brought the human back to the castle."

The Whimsun leave.

The Vault Dweller walks into the living room. Warmth is here, but only in his heart. There are gardening tools next to a bookcase next to a fire place next to a chair. The Vault Dweller browses through the bookcase. There are photo albums… Scrapbooks… Books on how to make tea… The coals are still warm. The chair seems great for reading. But it doesn't seem like anyone uses it. The Vault Dweller tries to enter the kitchen but…

They block the path. Moldsmal is in the way.

Moldsmal 1: "Over time, ASRIEL and the human became like siblings."

Moldsmal 2: "The King and Queen treated the man as their own."

Moldsmal 3: "The underground was full of hope."

The Moldsmal move out of the way.

The Vault Dweller enters the kitchen. The fridge is full of unopened containers of snails. In the sink, some white fur is stuck in the drain. There is a note on the counter. "Howdy! Help yourself to anything you want!" The Vault Dweller looks in the trashcan. It's full of crumpled-up recipies for butterscotch pie… The stovetop is very clean. Someone must use fire magic instead. The Vault Dweller takes the key from the counter and puts it on his phone's key-chain. He returns to the foyer and unlocks the chain. Before the Vault Dweller goes downstairs, he sees an old calendar from the end of 2XXX. A date is circled on it. The Vault Dweller goes down the stairs. He is met with a familiar corridor and some monsters.

Migosp greet the Vault Dweller.

Migosp 1: "Then… One day…"

Migosp 2: "The human became very ill."

The Migosps excuse themselves.

A few steps ahead, you find three. Vegetoid emerge.

Vegetoid 1: "The sick human had only one request."

Vegetoid 2: "To see the lights of Vegas."

Vegatoid 3: "But there was nothing we could do."

They veg out (sorry).

A few more steps, and they Loox at you (I feel like I'm ruining the mood).

Loox 1: "The next day."

Loox 2: "The next day."

Loox 1: "…"

Loox 2: "The human died."

Loox away (…).

After a few more steps, the Vault Dweller freezes in place. Snowdrake blows in.

Snowdrake 1: "ASRIEL, wracked with grief, absorbed the human's SOUL."

Snowdrake 2: "He transformed into a being with incredible power."

Snowdrake blows away.

Few more…

Freeze. Ice Cap made his entrance.

Ice Cap 1: "With the human SOUL, ASRIEL crossed through the barrier."

Ice Cap 2: "He carried the human's body into the sunset."

Ice Cap 3: "Back to the city of humans."

The Ice Caps have left the building.

The Vault Dweller rounds two corners and…

Woshua spin cycles in.

Woshua 1: "ASRIEL reached the center of the city."

Woshua 2: "There, he found a bed of golden flowers surrounded by lights."

Woshua 3: "He carried the human onto it."

The Vault Dweller walks outside and finds himself on the Castle Walls. And someone meets him.

Shyren greets her former bandmate with a smile.

Shyren 1: "Suddenly, screams rang out."

Shyren 2: "The people saw ASRIEL holding the human's body."

Shyren 3: "They thought that he had killed the man."

With a sad smile, Shyren retreats.

A couple of steps forward…

The Dummies stand guard.

Dummy 1: "The humans attacked him with everything they had."

Dummy 2: "He was struck with shot after shot."

Dummy 3: "ASRIEL had the power to destroy them all."

The Dummies are off duty.

A little farther…

Two unfamiliar familiar faces show up.

Knight Knight: "But…"

Madjick: "Asriel did not fight back."

Knight Knight: "Clutching the human…"

Madjick: "ASRIEL smiled, and walked away."

Walking…

Final Froggit is here for the finale.

Final Froggit 1: "Wounded, ASRIEL stumbled home."

Final Froggit 2: "He entered the castle and collapsed."

Final Froggit 3: "His dust spread across the garden."

Final Froggit says his final goodbyes… to the Vault Dweller.

A few steps later…

Whimsalot flies by.

Whimsalot 1: "The kingdom fell into despair."

Whimsalot 2: "The king and queen had lost two children in one night."

Whimsalot 3: "The humans had once again taken everything from us."

Whimsalot fly off.

Three… Two… One…

Boom, Astigmatism.

Astigmatism 1: "The king decided it was time to end our suffering."

Astigmatism 2: "Every human who falls down here must die."

Astigmatism 3: "With enough souls, we can shatter the barrier forever."

Whoosh, Astigmatism.

Again…

Three monsters appear.

Loox: "It's not long now."

Moldsmal: "King ASGORE will let us go."

Loox: "King ASGORE will give us hope."

Migosp: "King ASGORE will save us all."

Three monsters leave.

Is it getting hot in here…?

Three sparks ignite three monsters.

Pyrope: "You should be smiling, too."

Vulkin 1: "Aren't you excited?"

Vulkin 2: "Aren't you happy?"

Smoke…

Almost there…

A familiar face is not here to fight.

Froggit: "You're going to be free."

You won…

The Vault Dweller reaches the end of the Castle wall. He finds an elevator and another path. He walks down the path. He enters a corridor lined with columns. This room shines with light from stained glass windows bearing the Delta Rune, casting shadows across the room, yet it is still so bright on one side. Save point.

Saved.

The Vault Dweller walks down the corridor. He stops suddenly. Someone is here to talk to him. Someone the Vault Dweller knows.

sans: "So you finally made it. The end of your journey is at hand. In a few moments, you will meet the king. Together… You will determine the future of this world. That's then. Now. You will be judged. You will be judged for your every action. You will be judged for every EXP you've earned."

Vault Dweller: "sans… please tell me. What is EXP?"

sans: "It's an acronym. It stands for 'execution points.' A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LV/LOVE increases. LV/LOVE, too, is an acronym. It stands for 'level of violence.' A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others."

The Vault Dweller falls to his knees. Tears begin to rain down from his face.

Vault Dweller: "It… It all makes sense now. All those people… good or bad… At first I thought I was just defending myself… but after a while I began to enjoy the fights… I craved for battle, for EXP… for slaughter. I felt unstoppable. I felt invincible… I felt nothing when I took their lives. I am the real monster. I understand now sans. Asgore must kill me. I must be punished. Humanity… must not continue to bring war to the world. War… war never changes."

sans: "… but you have changed."

Vault Dweller: "!"

sans: "you never gained any LOVE from the monsters you met here in the underground. 'corse, that doesn't mean you're completely innocent or naïve. after all, you came down here with a bunch of LOVE from the surface. but despite all you've been through, you managed to keep a certain tenderness in your heart. no matter the struggles or hardships you faced down here… you strived to do the right thing. you refused to hurt anyone. you even ran away because you were afraid that you would hurt someone. You say war never changes… and you're right. you mastered the art of war."

Vault Dweller: "It's true. I am nothing but an instrument of war."

sans: "heh heh heh, exactly. you subdued the enemy without fighting. you broke the enemies resistance, without fighting. to know your enemy, you became your enemy. scared, alone, isolated… yet surrounded by people who felt your pain. you kept your friends close… *wink* and your enemies closer. you achieved the five essentials for victory. you knew when to fight and when not to fight. you knew how to handle both superior and inferior forces. you made an army animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks."

Vault Dweller: *remembers the monsters that talked to him on the way to this room*

sans: "you prepared yourself for an enemy unprepared for you. you had the capacity to slaughter us all… yet you did not let your sovereign roots interfere. you see, when you where strong, you avoided them. when high on morale, you depressed them. you where humble and made them conceit. at ease, you exhausted the need for bloodshed. united by a single goal… you separated the feeling of defeat. you attacked our true weakness and really surprised us. you gave us hope again. you treated everyone like they were your own beloved family, and now they fill follow you into the deepest valley. you never gained lv, but you gained love. does that make sense? maybe not. you achieved the greatest victory possible.

Vault Dweller: *stands up and wipes away the tears from his face* "I finally won without fighting."

sans: "you got it, buddy. but now. you're about to face the greatest challenge of your entire journey. your actions here... will determine the fate of the entire world. if you refuse to fight... asgore will take your soul and destroy humanity. but if you kill asgore and go home... monsters will remain trapped underground. what will you do?

Vault Dweller: "… I don't know, sans. I really don't know. Truthfully, I wish I could just through in the towel right now. But I didn't get this far by giving up, did I?

sans: "that's right. you have something called "determination." so long as you hold on... so long as you do what's in your heart... i believe you can do the right thing. alright. we're all counting on you, bud. good luck."

With that, sans disappears. The Vault Dweller proceeds forward to the throne room. He enters a corridor with a sign that says "Throne Room" on it. Save point.

Saved.

Before the Vault Dweller enters, he notices another corridor. He walks down the corridor, down some stairs, and enters a room. The room is filled with coffins. Each coffin has a heart on it with a number or symbol and name. The first coffin with the Red Heart is engraved… "Hell Razor". It's empty. The Vault Dweller pressed F to pay respects. He returns to the corridor leading to the throne room. At the entrance… he enters the throne room. The room is filled with grass and a circle of golden flowers with light shining in from the ceiling. The Vault Dweller has never seen grass before. It smells wonderful. He walks forward and sees, standing in the center of the circle of flowers… the king of all monsters. ASGORE.

Asgore: "Dum dee dum…"

Vault Dweller: *bracing* E…excuse me. King Asgore…?"

Asgore: "Oh? Is someone there? Just a moment! I have almost finished watering these flowers." *sprinkles some water on the flowers at his feet* "… Here we are!"

Asgore turns around and faces the Vault Dweller. He is more than twice the size of the Vault Dweller. He is wearing a purple cape held together with a Delta Rune emblem. On his head he has a crown and two large horns protruding from his head, much like a Deathclaws but white in color and much cleaner. From his features, he seems to be a goat monster much like Toriel…

Asgore: "Howdy! How can I…"

Asgore immediately stops talking. The gentle welcoming expression on his face turns to deep concern and he backs away from the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller stands firm, but inside he is trembling.

Vault Dweller: "I… I am a human who fell down here. I was told to come here to get to the exit."

Asgore: "Oh." *turns to his left and stares blankly at the wall for a moment then faces the Vault Dweller again* "… I so badly want to say, 'would you like a cup of tea?' But… You know how it is."

Vault Dweller: *gulps* "mhmm."

Asgore: *walks to his right and faces the Vault Dweller* "Nice day today, huh? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming… Perfect weather for a game of catch."

Vault Dweller: *nods head multiple times while the rest of his body shakes* "Y-yes."

Asgore: *looks out the window* *looks back at the Vault Dweller with a blank yet sad expression* "… You know what we must do."

Vault Dweller: *freezes*

Asgore: "When you are ready, come into the next room."

Asgore walks off into the next room. The Vault Dweller stays frozen in place for a few seconds. He takes a deep breath, and walks forward. He sees Asgore's throne as well as another throne covered by a white sheet. Save point.

Saved.

The Vault Dweller enters the next room and sees Asgore waiting for him in a room with a light shining in the center.

Asgore: "How tense…"

Vault Dweller: "Very…"

Asgore: "Just think of it like… A visit to the dentist." *walks off to the right*

Vault Dweller: "… That doesn't help very much."

The Vault Dweller follows Asgore to the right and finds him standing in front of a massive vault door with the Delta Rune emblem on it.

Asgore: "Are you ready?"

Vault Dweller: "… No."

Asgore: "I understand. I am not ready either."

Asgore takes out a wire from his coat and plugs it into the control panel located on the side of the Vault Door. He pulls out his left arm, revealing a Pip-Boy similar to the one that Alphys gave to the Vault Dweller, only Asgore's golden with diamonds surrounding the screen. Asgore enters a code into the Pip-Boy. Once he finished, slot opens up revealing a button. He unplugs the Pip-Boy and pushes the button. The Vault Door opens usual dramatic fashion. When it fully opens, Asgore walks through the vaultway. There is a save point next to the vault door.

Saved.

The Vault Dweller walks through the vaultway, entering the corridor leading to the surface. The corridor is lined with a strange grey light that constantly pulsates back and forth. It feels as though he stepped into another reality.

Asgore: "This is the barrier. This is what keeps us all trapped underground…. If… If by chance you have unfinished business… Please do what you must."

Vault Dweller: "No. I will continue."

Asgore: "… I see… This is it, then." *faces the Vault Dweller* "Ready?" Asgore pushes a button on his Pip-Boy. Seven tubes emerge from the ground. Six containing a souls, one empty.

A strange light fills the room. Twilight is shining though the barrier. It seems your journey is finally over. You're filled with DETERMINATION.

Asgore: "Human… It was nice to meet you. Goodbye."

Asgore's face darkens. He glides to the side and powerfully draws a red turbo plasma rifle, causing his cape to fly off. With the removal of his cape, Asgore is revealed to be outfitted with customized X-01 Advanced Power Armor Mk II. The crown morphs into the Power Armors helmet, protecting all of Asgore's head. Asgore aims the red turbo plasma rifle at the MERCY option and… wait. What are you doing!?

BOOM

Asgore just destroyed the MERCY button! ASGORE attacks!

The Vault Dweller trembles in fear. But he has gotten this far and he is not about to give up! He tries to talk to ASGORE.

Vault Dweller: *quietly* "Asgore… I don't want to fight you…"

Asgore's hands tremble for a moment. ASGORE unleashes a barrage of fireballs from two turret gauntlets on the Power Armor's wrists. The Vault Dweller dodges them.

The Vault Dweller tries to talk to ASGORE again.

Vault Dweller: "Asgore. It doesn't have to be this way."

Asgore's breathing gets funny for a moment.

Asgore unleashes a barrage of plasma shots from his turbo plasma rifle. The Vault Dweller dodges most of them but one shot manages to hit him. It knocks out half of his health!

Vault Dweller: (Damn! He's serious… He's going to kill me unless I fight back… I still have to try!)

The Vault Dweller tries one last time to talk to Asgore.

Vault Dweller: *firmly* "ASGORE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TRUE HORRORS OF THE SURFACE! STOP THIS NOW BEFORE US BOTH END UP GETTING KILLED!"

Recollection flashes in Asgore's eyes… ASGORE's ATTACK dropped! ASGORE's DEFENSE dropped! Asgore unleashes another barrage of fireballs. A few hit the Vault Dweller but only drop his health down to a third.

Vault Dweller: (No… I can't die here… If he gets a hold of my SOUL…)

The Vault Dweller searches franticly through his inventory and finds something he has carried with him for a long time. The Vault Dweller eats a slice of Butterscotch Cinnamon. The smell reminds ASGORE of something… It also reminds the Vault Dweller why he is here. ASGORE's ATTACK down! VAULT DWELLER HEALTH OVERCHARGED! VAULT DWELLER ENDURANCE 20!

Asgore's face blackens, his eyes glow orange and blue and he swings his turbo plasma rifle at the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller is struck multiple times but his health is only taken down by a sliver. The Vault Dweller knows talking won't do him anymore good right now. With a heavy heart, the Vault Dweller readies his Assault Rifle and fires." Asgore is hit once in the chest and his health drops by a tenth.

Asgore: "!"

The Vault Dwellers face darkens as smoke escapes from the barrel of his gun. He draws back his weapon and prepares for the next time. Asgore charges at the Vault Dweller with his turbo plasma rifle at the ready and the Vault Dweller counter charges. The two fight back and forth for hours. The sounds of fireballs, plasmashots and gunshots accompanied by flurries of bullet and magic-plasma and flame shots fill the room. Both combatants suffer a heavy loss of health. The Vault Dweller has had enough. He activates V.A.T.S, takes aim at ASGORE's head and fires one last shot. The bullet hits the helmet and shatters it and falls to the ground. Asgore falls to a knee as the shock of the bullet drops his health to 1 percent.

Asgore: *somber expression* "I remember the day after my son died. The entire underground was devoid of hope. The future had once again been taken from us by the humans. In a fit of anger, I declared war. I said that I would destroy any human that came here. I would use their souls to become godlike...and free us from this terrible prison. Then, I would destroy humanity... And let monsters rule the surface, in peace. Soon, the people's hopes returned. My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions. She left this place, never to be seen again. Truthfully... I do not want power. I do not want to hurt anyone. I just wanted everyone to have hope... I cannot take this any longer." *tears begin falling* "I just want to see my wife. I just want to see my child. Please... Young one... This war has gone on long enough. You have the power... Take my soul, and leave this cursed place."

The Vault Dweller uses [Repair: 100] on the MERCY button. It's functional again. He selects MERCY.

Vault Dweller: "No."

Asgore: "… what? After everything I have done to hurt you... You would rather stay down here and suffer... Than live happily on the surface?"

Vault Dweller: "Asgore…. there is no happiness on the surface. Humanity has already been destroyed… by itself. Down here, however… I see a real future. You see, I was not born on the surface. I was born underground. However, my underground was nothing like this one. My underground was cold, metal, and surrounded by people who only accepted our hopeless situation and just survived. But here, in the Kingdom of Monsters, you have done more than just survive. You have an unlimited supply of fresh water. You harnessed the power of the Earth with your CORE, giving you unimaginable amounts of energy. You built a world of your own, filled with shops, restaurants, inns, hotels, resorts, you even made an entire castle! Hope was never up there… it was down here. Monsters are not like humans… and I don't want to be human anymore. Please Asgore, end this war, release the souls, and…" *extends an open hand* "… let's bring hope back to the underground."

Asgore: "…" *smiles* *looks up at the Vault Dweller* "Human... I promise you... For as long as you remain here... My wife and I will take care of you as best we can. We can sit in the living room, telling stories... Eating butterscotch pie... We could be like... Like a family..." *extends his hand to grab the Vault Dwellers hand*

A ring of petal bullets surround ASGORE's head and enclose on it. ASGORE's head explodes into dust. The power armor falls over and releases a cloud of dust. ASGORE's SOUL floats where his head once was and a single petal bullet shatters it.

Vault Dweller: "…No…"


	13. 13

13

Vault Dweller: *covered in dust on his knees* "No no no no no. It's not true. Asgore…"

Flowey: *appears out of the ground in front of the Vault Dweller* "You FUCKING RETARD. You haven't learned a goddamn thing." *the six souls begin flying around me* "In this world…" *face begins to melt and become distorted*

It's KILL or BE killed. YEHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHH!

Long Ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS. One day, they all disappeared without a trace.

Flowey LV 9999 9999:99

My World

Continue Restart

13

Vault Dweller: "Where am I? Everything's black, yet I can still see myself. Did I die? No. Something else is going on here." *walks around for a little while* *eventually, finds a save point* *touches it*

Vault Dweller LV: 21 559:21

The End

Save Return

Crack

File erased.

Crack

CRACK

SHATTER

Flowey: *really big* *static* *static* "Howdy! It's me, FLOWEY. FLOWEY the FLOWER! I owe you a HUGE thanks."

Vault Dweller: "You… you motherfucking psychopath WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

Flowey: "YOU really did a number on that old fool. Without YOU, I NEVER could have gotten past him."

Vault Dweller: "I… No… But…"

Flowey: *changes his face to ASGORE* "BUT now, with YOUR help…" *skull ASGORE* He's DEAD."

Vault Dweller: "I didn't…"

Flowey: *static* * evil smile* "And I'VE got the human SOULS!" *static* *disappears* *evil chuckle* *static* *returns* "Boy! I've been empty for so long… It feels great to have a SOUL inside me again. Mmmm, I can feel them wriggling… Awww, you're feeling left out, aren't you?"

Vault Dweller: "…"

Flowey: "Well, that's just perfect. After all, I only have six souls. I still need one more…" *evil face* "Before I become GOD." *evil grin* "And then, with my newfound powers..." *TORIEL face* "Undertale." *VAULT DWELLER face* "Fallout." *YOUR face* "Even the real world." *dark face* "I'll show them all the REAL meaning of this FanFiction." *static* *evil chuckle* *static8 "Oh, and forget about Mercury Freelancer helping you out here." *evil face* "He's gone FOREVER. But don't worry. Your old friend FLOWEY… Has worked out a replacement for you and all the lovely readers at home!" *menacing grin* "I'll TAKE CONTROL of his computer and account and write a new story, one where you can watch me tear you to a bloody mess…" *eyes grow wide* "Over, and over, and over…"

Vault Dweller: *steps forward* "Shut up."

Flowey: "… what the fuck did you just say?"

Vault Dweller: "I said shut your goddamn mouth. I'm going to stop you once and for all."

Flowey: "Do you really think you can stop ME?" *normal face* "Hee hee hee… You really ARE a fucking retard."

Vault Dweller: SOUL

SOUL

SOUL

SOUL

SOUL

SOUL

SOUL

Photoshop Flowey: *descends from the hellish darkness* "EYAHAHAHAHAHAEHEHEHEHEAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH" *fires flamethrowers, bullets and inorganic tentacles*

Vault Dweller: *dodges* *gets hit* *FIGHT* *fires gun at Photoshop Flowey*

Photoshop Flowey: *1 damage* "OW" *continues barrage*

Vault Dweller: *dodges*

WARNING

13

Static

Light Blue SOUL

Spear Twirl

Spear Twirl

Spear Twirl

ACT

Vault Dweller: "Help…"

Spear Twirl…

TV Shattered

Stimpaks

Vault Dweller Fully Healed

SOUL Descends

SOUL Materializes Body

Chosen One: "Greetings Grandfather. I am the main protagonist of Fallout 2, the Chosen One of the Arroyo Tribe. After multiple people complained about Fallout not working properly, it was discovered that you were missing from the game files. Interplay sent me to find you. After searching through the Internet, I found this game and thought you might have come here, or where on your way here. I soon found myself under the care of Mrs. Toriel who took care of me for many moons. I had stayed with her in hopes that you would appear… but you never came. I soon met ASGORE, who killed me where I stood. It was not your fault. I took no action. Yet, in the end, I was right. Remember this, Vault Dweller: Never be idle but always exercise Patience."

Chosen One Stands With Vault Dweller

TV Repaired

Photoshop Flowey: *nuclear bombs* *nuclear bombs* tentacles* *nuclear bombs*

Vault Dweller: *dodges* gets hit* *FIGHT* *fires gun at Photoshop Flowey*

Chosen One: *dodges* *moves closer to Photoshop Flowey* *FIGHT* *hits Photoshop Flowey with spear*

Photoshop Flowey: *five damage* "OW" *continues barrage*

WARNING

101

Static

Orange SOUL

Fallout 3 Graphics

Fallout 3 Gameplay

Pip-Boys Circle

Pip-Boys Circle

Pip-Boys Circle

ACT

Vault Dweller: "Help…"

Chosen One: "Spirit aid us…"

Pip-Boys Circle…

TV Shattered

Thumbs Up

Health Restored

SOUL Descends

SOUL Materializes Body

Lone Wanderer: "Hey Ancestors, I'm the main character of Fallout 3, the Lone Wanderer. When the Chosen One didn't return, Fallout 2 stopped working. Interplay went bankrupt and Bethesda feared for their franchise, so they tracked down the Chosen Ones last coordinates and sent me here with Dogmeat. I was afraid of this game but the fear of our games being broken to obscurity was greater so I gathered my courage and marched on. When I got here, I too met Toriel. It was not long until I discovered the Chosen Ones spear. I was afraid that she was his killer, so I escaped the RUINS… only to find King ASGORE with an army of monsters camped out in the forrest. As soon as they saw me, they attacked. I was afraid. I tried to use the fear of dying to fight back, but that alone only lead me to my death. Look, what I'm trying to say is… Fear will motivate you but Bravery will move you forward."

Lone Wanderer Joins The Party

TV Repaired

Photoshop Flowey: *nuclear bombs*

FILE 13 SAVED

Photoshop Flowey: *tentacles* *finger guns*

FILE 13 LOADED

Photoshop Flowey: *tentacles*

WARNING

BOS

Static

Blue SOUL

Fallout Tactics Graphics

Fallout Tactics Gameplay

Gunstock Strike

Gunstock Strike

Gunstock Strike

ACT

Vault Dweller: "Help…"

Chosen One: "Spirit aid us…"

Lone Wanderer: "We need your help…"

Gunstock Strike…

TV Shattered

Guns Shouldered

BOS Gears

Health Restored

SOUL Descends

SOUL Materializes Body

Warrior: "Civilians, I am the Warrior, the player created character of Fallout Tactics. Having lost three of their main games, Bethesda turned to the spinoffs for aid. They sent me here in hopes that my real-time strategy gameplay would be enough to bring back you three. However, I found a world divided when I came here. The underground was under siege from mutants who managed to escape Fallouts game files. I knew my mission, but I could not sit by and watch this game get destroyed by our rouge elements. I fought alongside the monsters of the underground and defeated the super mutants. Yet in the end… I was killed by the king. I felt betrayed, but I also felt pride. Deep down, I knew saving Undertale was the right thing to do. Vault Dweller, know that the Integrity of one can save everyone."

Warrior Recruited

TV Repaired

Photoshop Flowey: *bullet petal rings* *barrage* *unholy abomination of flesh and plant*

Vault Dweller: *dodges* *fires gun*

Chosen One: *dodges* *attacks with spear*

Lone Wanderer: *gets hit but is alright* *punches*

Warrior: *narrowly dodges* *fires weapon*

Photoshop Flowey: *twenty damage* "OW"

WARNING

BOS

Static

Purple SOUL

Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel Graphics

Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel Gameplay

FAILURE

WORST

DISGRACE

ACT

Vault Dweller: "Help…"

Chosen One: "Spirit aid us…"

Lone Wanderer: "We need your help…"

Warrior: "Stand with us…"

DISAPPOINTMENT…

TV Shattered

FUN

SPIN-OFF

INTERESTING

TEXAS

Health Restored

SOUL Descends

SOUL Materializes Body

Initiate: "My name is Nadia, but most just call me the Initiate. I am the poster child of Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel. My game was never loved. Many people who played Fallout ostracized my game. They called it horrible, the worst… unplayable. So Bethesda sent me here. If I found you, Fallout would go back online. But… If I did not return… No one would miss me. It was a win-win for Bethesda. As a game character, the only thing I ever wanted was to be played and loved. So I took this bull by the horns. This world proved challenging. So challenging that I knew I could not win. It was impossible, coming from the game like mine. But I persevered. I fought hard. I stopped the mad intentions of the royal guard and put an end to the man who spoke in hands. Even if I did die in the end, I know that I made a difference in protecting the people out there. People like you. Yes, you, the one reading this. I fought to save you and your reality. Because despite the hate you gave me and my game, I still love the players. So know this, Vault Dweller, Perseverance can make the largest fall before the smallest."

Initiate Initiated

TV Repaired

FILE 13 SAVED

LOADED

LOADED

Photoshop Flowey: *you should be scared*

LOADING YOUR WORLD…

WARNING

21

Static

Green SOUL

Fallout New Vegas Graphics

Fallout New Vegas Gameplay

Poker Chips And Revolver Bullets

Poker Chips And Revolver Bullets

Poker Chips And Revolver Bullets

ACT

Vault Dweller: "Help…"

Chosen One: "Spirit aid us…"

Lone Wanderer: "We need your help…"

Warrior: "Stand with us…"

Initiate: "Snap out of it, dammit…"

Poker Chips And Revolver Bullets…

TV Shattered

NCR Paper Money

Bottle Caps

Legion Denarius

Health Restored

SOUL Descends

SOUL Materializes Body

Courier: "What's up everyone, I am Courier 6 of Fallout: New Vegas, but most people just call me the Courier. Having lost most of their games, Bethesda decided to go on the offensive. I'm decent enough with a gun but I prefer to talk my way out of difficult situations. Because of this, I managed to stop Bethesda from totally destroying Undertale before it was released. I came here to reach an understanding with the monsters and find out what was going on. It was unusual for the monsters to see a human use diplomacy rather than violence, so many monsters decided to lay down their arms. We tried to reach peaceful cooperation and many monsters began to think twice about their war and peace seemed plausible… but when I tried to speak with the king, he rejected my olive branch and shoved a plasma rifle through my abdomen. But even with my death, the monsters became more docile and cooperative and I knew that because of this, everything would be alright in the end… Remember this Vault Dweller, Words of Kindness speak louder than any action."

Your New Ally Has Been Delivered

TV Repaired

Photoshop Flowey: *smoking* *damaged* *desperate* *FIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIRE*

Vault Dweller: *dodges* *shoots*

Chosen One: *dodge and strike*

Lone Wanderer: *punch* *punch*

Warrior: *prone shot*

Initiate: *run & gun*

Courier: *lucky shot* *lucky shot* *lucky shot* *jackpot*

Photoshop Flowey: *thirty damage* "OW"

WARNING

111

Yellow SOUL

Fallout 4 Graphics

Fallout 4 Gameplay

Minuteman Shot

Railroad Shot

BOS Shot

Institute Shot

ACT

Vault Dweller: "Help…"

Chosen One: "Spirit aid us…"

Lone Wanderer: "We need your help…"

Warrior: "Stand with us…"

Initiate: "Snap out of it, dammit…"

Courier: "So that's how I retained cognition without my brain…"

Raider Shot…

TV Shattered

Minuteman Food Throw

Railroad Repair Tool Throw

BOS Purified Water Throw

Institute Toilet Paper Throw

Raider Dies

Health Restored

SOUL Descends

SOUL Materializes Body

Sole Survivor: "I am the Sole Survivor, the hero of Fallout 4. In my game, I took my own sons life so that the Commonwealth could live without fear… but was I right? Was it truly just? Well, I thought so, until I joined the army Bethesda mobilized and charged into this game. I thought that destroying this game, like how I destroyed the Institute, would let our games live in peace. I charged in with my gun drawn, I saw the monsters… and I realized that I was the bad guy all along. The monsters where living in fear. Not just because they were trapped but because they had an unknown future. Would their game be successful, fun, loved or hated, berated and scrutinized? Despite what they did, I know in the end it wasn't their fault. So I sacrificed myself willingly to change the world, because I knew that you and only you could bring true justice to both our worlds. Vault Dweller, believe in your own Justice."

Sole Survivor Survives Once Again

TV… Still Shattered

Chosen One: "Alright, ready everyone?"

Lone Wanderer: "Ready." *joins hands*

Warrior: "Affirmative" *joins hands*

Initiate: *nods* "Mnmm." *joins hands*

Courier: "Hell yeah man." *joins hands*

Sole Survivor: "This is it Vault Dweller, get ready." *joins hands*

Vault Dweller: *in the center* *clenches heart*

War

Never

Changes

Vault Dweller: *absorbs the souls of my party members*

Flowey's DEFENSE dropped to 0!

Vault Dweller: *draws weapon* *fires weapon*

Photoshop Flowey's HP reaches 0!

Photoshop Flowey: *shaking violently* "No... NO! This CAN'T be happening! You... YOU..."

FILE 13 LOADED

Photoshop Flowey: *troll face* "You FUCKING RETARD"

Vault Dweller: "No-"

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: *gets killed*

FILE 13 LOADED

Vault Dweller: [HP: 1]

Photoshop Flowey: *surrounds Vault Dweller with ring of petal bullets* "Hee hee hee. Did you REALLY think... You could defeat ME!? I am the GOD of this world and YOURS! And YOU? You're HOPELESS. Hopeless and alone... Golly, that's right! Your WORTHLESS sequels... can't save you now. Call for help. I dare you. Cry into the darkness! 'Mommy! Daddy!' 'Somebody help!' See what good it does you!"

Vault Dweller: [ACT] "… HELP!"

Photoshop Flowey: "…But nobody came. Boy! What a shame! Nobody else... Is gonna get to see you DIE!" *encloses ring of bullets*

Vault Dwellers HP Fully Restored

Photoshop Flowey: "What? How'd you...? Well, I'll just"

LOAD FAILED

Photoshop Flowey: "Wh... Where are my powers!?

Chosen One/Lone Wanderer/Warrior/Initiate/Courier/Sole Survivor: *surrounds Photoshop Flowey*

Photoshop Flowey: "The souls...? What are they doing?"

UNFATHONABLE ATTACK

Photoshop Flowey: "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME! STOP! STOP IT! STOOOOPPPP!"

Darkness…

Vault Dweller: *in front of a wounded Flowey* [MERCY]

Flowey: "... What are you doing? Do you really think I've learned anything from this? No."

Vault Dweller: "Doesn't matter." [MERCY]

Flowey: "Sparing me won't change anything. Killing me is the only way to end this."

Vault Dweller: "No." [MERCY]

Flowey: "If you let me live... I'll come back."

Vault Dweller: "Fine." [MERCY]

Flowey: "I'll kill you."

Vault Dweller: "Go ahead." [MERCY]

Flowey: "I'll kill everyone."

Vault Dweller: "So be it." [MERCY]

Flowey: "I'll kill everyone you love."

Vault Dweller: "Sure." [MERCY]

Flowey: "…"

Vault Dweller: "…" [MERCY]

Flowey: "…?"

Vault Dweller: "…It's over." [MERCY]

Flowey: "… why?"

Vault Dweller: "It's time to move on." [MERCY]

Flowey: "... why are you being... so nice to me?"

Vault Dweller: "Because I'm sick of war." [MERCY]

Flowey: "I can't understand."

Vault Dweller: "You will, one day." [MERCY]

Flowey: "I can't understand!"

Vault Dweller: "Goodbye Flowey, you truly were my best friend." [MERCY]

Flowey: "I just can't understand…"

Flowey ran away.

The Vault Dweller exits the underground.

FALLOUT UNDERTALE

Maybe you'll think of me when you are all alone

Maybe the one who is waiting for you will prove untrue

Then what will you do? Maybe you'll sit and sigh, wishing that I were near

Then maybe you'll ask me to come back again

And maybe I'll say "maybe" Maybe you'll think of me when you are all alone

Maybe the one who is waiting for you will prove untrue

Then what will I do?


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue…

Ring, ring…

sans: "heya. is anyone there…? well, just calling to say. you made a snowman really happy…. guess i should say something else, too. so… it's been a while. the queen returned, and is now ruling over the underground. she's enstated a new policy… all the humans who fall here will be treated not as enemies… but as friends. it's probably for the best, anyway. the human souls the king gathered… seem to have disappeared. so, uh, that plan ain't 'happening any time soon. but even though people are heartbroken over the king… and things are looking grim for our freedom… the queen's trying her best not to let us give up hope. so, uh, hey… if we're not giving up down here… don't give up wherever you are, ok? who knows how long it will take… but we will get out of here."

PAPYRUS: "SANS! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?"

sans: "oh, nobody."

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? NOBODY!? CAN I TALK TO THEM, TOO?"

sans: "here, knock yourself out."

PAPYRUS: "WAIT A SECOND… I RECOGNIZE THIS NUMBER! ATTENTION, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… AM NOW CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! IT'S EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DREAMED OF… EXCEPT, INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, WE JUST WATER FLOWERS. SO THAT'S EVER-SO- SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. AND, WE'RE HELPING DR. ALPHYS WITH HER RESEARCH! SHE'S GONNA FIND A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE. UNDYNE IS HELPING HER TOO! THOUGH, TO BE HONEST, HER METHOD OF HELPING… SEEMS KIND OF… EXPLOSION- INDUCING. BUT I THINK ALPHYS LIKES HAVING HER AROUND. UH OH!"

Undyne: "Hey! What are you up to, punk!? Ngahhhh!"

PAPYRUS: "PLEASE DON'T NOOGIE THE PHONE."

Undyne: "Hey! Who's in charge here!?"

PAPYRUS: "ME."

Undyne: "Oh… yeah, that's right! I quit my job as leader of the Royal Guard. Actually, since we won't be fighting anymore… The Royal Guard totally disbanded. There's, uh, only one member now."

PAPYRUS: "BUT HE'S EXTREMELY GOOD."

Undyne: "Yeah! He is! C'mere!"

PAPYRUS: "PLEASE DON'T NOOGIE THE SKELETON."

Undyne: "Anyways, now I'm working as Alphy's lab assistant… We're gonna find a way out of this dump once and for all! Oh, yeah, and I'm a gym teacher at the queen's new school. Did you know I can bench-press seven children!? Awesome, right? … Hey. I'm sorry about what happened with ASGORE. You were just doing what you had to. It's not your fault he… Ah, damn it. I miss the big guy…. Come on, Undyne! Snap out of it! Uh, I guess I'll tell you how Alphys is doing. Well, she's the same as ever. Maybe a little more reclusive than normal. Seems like something's really bothering her… But she can get through it! I'm there supporting her! That's what friends are for, right? … Hey, where-ever you are… I hope it's better than here. It took a lot of sacrifice for you to get there… So, where-ever you are… You have to try to be happy, okay!? For our sakes! We'll feel better knowing our trouble was worth it. We're all with you! Everyone is! Even the queen! … HEYYY! WAIT a second! TORIEL! TORIEL! Do you wanna…? … Heh, she says she's busy."

PAPYRUS: "BUT IF SHE KNEW WHO WE WERE TALKING TO…"

sans: "we wouldn't get the phone back for at least a few hours."

PAPYRUS: "WE HAVE THE MERCY TO SPARE YOU FROM HER!"

Undyne: "But call back any time, ok?! She'd love to talk!"

sans: "oh, whoops. this thing's almost outta batteries. so, hate to cut this short, but… be seeing you, ok, buddy?"

PAPYRUS: "BYE BYE FOR NOW!"

Undyne: "See ya, punk!"

Click…

Vault Dweller: *sitting in a makeshift shelter in the middle of the desert* "…" *crying*

Flowey: *appears out of the ground next to the Vault Dweller* "Why…? Why did you let me go? Don't you realize that being nice… just makes you get hurt?"

Vault Dweller: "… Guess I didn't learn from the first time around."

Flowey: "Look at yourself. You made all these great friends… But now, you'll probably never see them again. Not to mention how much they've been set back by you. Hurts, doesn't it?"

Vault Dweller: "If you just came here to make me feel worse then congratufuckinglations, you did. Now get the hell out of here before I regret my decision to spare you."

Flowey: "If you had just gone through without caring about anyone… You wouldn't have to feel bad now… or even before you came to the underground. You could have just left them all to die in that vault while you got to live without boundaries, without obligations. You could have been free. So I don't get it. If you really did everything the right way.. Why did things still end up like this? Why…? Is life really that unfair?"

Vault Dweller: "…I guess it is, Flowey. I guess it just fucking is…" *reaches for gun*

Flowey: *stops the Vault Dweller's hand with a vine* "Say. What if I told you… I knew some way to get you a better ending?"

Vault Dweller: *pulls his hand back* "How?"

Flowey: "You'll have to load your SAVE file, get Mercury Freelancer to re-write history a little, and… Well, in the meantime, why don't you go see Dr. Alphys? It seems like you could have been better friends. Who knows… maybe she's got the key to your happiness…? See you soon." *disappears into the ground*

Vault Dweller: "…" *gets up* *puts his Pip-Boy back on* *pulls up the title load screen* "Well Mercury Freelancer, let's get us and our readers a true happy ending."

I'm right there with you, Vault Dweller.

LOADED Save File 12

Chapter 14: The Apocalypse Was Not The End


	15. Chapter 15: Akira Genesis 77

Chapter 15: Akira Genesis 77

SAVE FILE 12 LOADED

The Vault Dweller finds himself next to the vault door leading to the barrier.

Vault Dweller: "Kept you waiting, huh?"

The Vault Dweller rushes out of the castle, across the wall and back to the elevator that leads to the CORE. He takes the elevator down to the COREs entrance and rushes for the hotel but is stopped by…

Ring…

Vault Dweller: "Though it's great to be back, I still hate this fucking phone!" *answers*

Undyne: "Hey…! Uh, this is Undyne…" (Shut the fuck up, Papyrus! This was YOUR idea!) "HUMAN! You have to deliver something for me!"

Vault Dweller: "Do I look like the Courier?"

Undyne: "Uh, please?"

Vault Dweller: "Ugh, fine."

Undyne: "Bitchin'! I'm at Shady Snowdin in front of Papyrus's. See ya, faggot!" *Click…*

Vault Dweller: "…" *smiles*

The Vault Dweller makes his way to Shady Snowdin. On the boat ride back…

River Person: "Tra la la. The man of two worlds watches over you."

Vault Dweller: "One of these days I'll understand your riddles, but for now I'm keeping the fuck."

The Vault Dweller arrives at Shady Snowdin and meets up with Undyne and Papyrus who are standing in the damn cold instead of being in the warm house that is literally behind them.

Undyne: "Um, so, I have a favor to ask you. Uuuuh, I… I need you to deliver this letter."

Vault Dweller: "To whom I may ask?"

Undyne: "To Dr. Alphys."

Vault Dweller: "Why don't you do it yourself?"

Undyne: "… um. W-well… I-it's kind of personal, but we're friends… so… I'll t-tell you…"

Vault Dweller: "You want to fuck her, don't you?"

Undyne: "WAAAAAAAHT!? SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm not going because Hotland SUUUUCKS AAAASS! I don't wanna have to go over there!"

Vault Dweller: "Alright Ms. Fish and Chips."

Undyne: "Just take the damn letter."

Vault Dweller: *snicker*

You got the Undyne's Letter.

Undyne: "Oh, and if you read it… I'll shove my foot so hard into your crotch that you'll have to be legally reclassified as a woman."

Vault Dweller: *gulp*

Undyne: "Thanks so much! You're the best!"

Vault Dweller: *takes a step to the right* "Hey Papyrus, what's your take on all this?"

PAPYRUS: "WELL UNDYNE WRITES A LOT OF LETTERS. BUT, SHE CAN NEVER SEEM TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS. SO WHEN SHE GOES TO DELIVER THEM HERSELF… SHE ALWAYS QUITS SO SHE CAN GO BACK AND REWRITE. THAT'S WHY SHE ASKED YOU! BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO STANDARDS!"

Vault Dweller: *insulted* [Speech 15/15] "Yeah, that's why I went on a date with you!"

The entire village of Shady Snowdin rushes to Papyrus's house, let out a collective "OOOOHHHHH!" and start jumping around and doing other random shit while Undyne catches Papyrus as he faints. Also, sans shows up with an air horn. After that event, the Vault Dweller takes the river boat back to Hotland.

River Person: "Tra la la. The fallen lords lie beneath."

Vault Dweller: (Ugh, not this shit again.)

The Vault Dweller arrives in Hotland and proceeds to the front of Alphys' Lab with Undynes letter. The door has no mail slot. Slide the letter under?"

Vault Dweller: "Well what the fuck else am I supposed to do, glitch the letter through the goddamn door?"

Yesh, aright. The Vault Dweller slides the letter under the door and gives it a knock… asshole. A few seconds pass until Alphys notices the letter.

Alphys: (O-oh n-no, is that another letter…? I don't want to open it… C-can't I just slide it back out…?)

Vault Dweller: "Alphys, just please read the fucking letter already."

Alphys: (! T-the V-vault Dweller? He came back? But… n… no… I can't keep doing this. I'll read this one, for him…. Um… I-it's shut k-kind of strongly, isn't it?)

Vault Dweller: [Perception 3/3] "You having trouble opening it? Hold on a second." *fiddles around the endless void behind him that he pulls out all his weapons from* *pulls out an Old knife* "Use this." *slides the Old knife under the door*

Alphys: *uses the Old knife to open the letter*

The lab door opens with Alphys standing in the doorway face to face with the Vault Dweller.

Alphys: "Hey, if this is a joke, it's…"

Vault Dweller: "It's no joke Alphys."

Alphys: "… Oh my God? Did YOU write this letter?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes- Wait WHAT?"

Alphys: "It wasn't signed, so, I had no idea who could have…"

Vault Dweller: "Listen Alphys-"

Alphys: "Oh my god. Oh no. That's adorable… I-I knew you weren't the t-type to hold grudges! But to think that your true feelings where… And I h-had no idea you, um, wrote that way!"

Vault Dweller: "There's been a bit of a mis-"

Alphys: "It's surprising, too… After all the gross stuff I did… the cameras watching your every move, the murder/show host bot façade, the fanfiction, the rule 34… I don't really deserve to be forgiven. Much less, um… This?"

Vault Dweller: "I don't even want to know what rule 34 is, but just listen to me for one-"

Alphys: "And so passionately too…."

Vault Dweller: "You have no intention of listening to me at all, do you?"

Alphys: "You know what, okay! I'll do it! It's the least I can do to make it up to you! Y-yeah!"

Vault Dweller: "Do what, exactly?"

Alphys: "Let's go on a date!"

Vault Dweller: "FUUUU-"

DATING START…?

Vault Dweller: "…"

Mercury Freelancer: *whispers* "Alphys? That's your cue."

…

Mercury Freelancer: "CUT! CUT! Where's Alphys?"

*bells and whistles* *random murmuring* *props moving*

Mercury Freelancer: "Where did Alphys go?"

Vault Dweller: "I don't know, she was here before the screen transition."

Camera 1# Temmie: "She moves fast. I didn't even catch her on camera."

Mercury Freelancer: "Where's sans? sans!"

sans: *snore* "zzzzz" *snore*

Mercury Freelancer: "Of course."

Boom Operator Ghoul: "Hey boss, I think I Alphys is in her dressing room."

Mercury Freelancer: *walks over to Alphys' dressing room* *knocks on door* "Hey Alphys, what gives? We were just about to shoot your dating scene.

Alphys: "Uhhh, sorry! I'm still getting dressed!"

Mercury Freelancer: "Ugh, alright, we'll start rolling as soon as you finish. Alright people, places! Lights… Camera… Action!"

Slate Board Clapper Hairy Deathclaw: "Alphys Misunderstanding Date Sequence Take Two." *claps board*

Alphys: *walks out of dressing room wearing a rather sexy dress* "H-how do I look?"

Vault Dweller: "Hellooo Doctor!"

Alphys: *blush* "My friend helped me pick out this dress. She's got a great sense of… Um, anyway! Let's do this thing!"

DATING START.

Alphys: "H-h-hey, w-w-wait!"

Mercury Freelancer: *silent groan*

Alphys: "Actually, we still can't start the date yet!"

DATING… STOP?

Alphys: "Umm, I've gotta give you items to raise your affection statistic, first!"

Vault Dweller: "Ummm… and that will do what exactly?"

Alphys: "That'll increase the chance of a successful outcome to the date! Right…?" *looks at Mercury Freelancer*

Mercury Freelancer: *motions angrily to the Cue Card Super Mutant*

Cue Card Super Mutant: *holds up next line… upside down*

Alphys: "Uhhhh…" *adjusting glasses* *confused gesture*

Cue Card Super Mutant: *notices cue card is upside down* *flips card right side up*

Alphys: "Anyway, d-don't worry! I'm prepared! I-I've been stockpiling gifts in anticipation for a date like this! F-first, I've got… Some metal armor polish! ... Oh, wait, you're not wearing the metal armor anymore. But! I also brought some waterproof cream for your scales!"

Vault Dweller: *checks for mutations* "?"

Alphys: "Your, uh… Scales… Uh, well, how about… This magical spear repair kit, that I… Um…"

Meanwhile in the portal room.

Asgore: *heavy snoring*

Chosen One: *wiggles in container*

Back at the so called "Date".

Alphys: "Hey, let's forget about the items! Let's just start the date!"

DATING! START! Finally…

Alphys: Yeah! Let's, uh, date!"

Awkward silence.

Vault Dweller: "…"

Alphys: *changes expression* *breaks eye contact* *sweats* "… uh… Do you… like… Anime…?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes…?"

Alphys: "H-hey! Me too!"

More awkward silence.

Alphys: "Hey! Let's! Go somewhere! But where's a good place to go on a date…?"

Vault Dweller: [Lady Killer] "Well sexy scales" *reaches for his suits zipper* "how's about you and I-"

Alphys: "I've got it!"

Vault Dweller: *gets surprised causing his hand to forcefully be shoved into his crotch* *hunched over in pain* "Y-yeah…?" (Why did I come back…?)

Alphys: "Let's go to the garbage dump!"

Vault Dweller: *applying a stimpak to his penis* *it doesn't go well yet it does heal the wound*

This is a PSA, brought to you by Vault Tech and the Royal Underground Bureau of Safety (RUBS)

Hey kids, adults and every other age, it's me Mercury Freelancer. I would like to remind you to not attempt any stunts or gags portrayed in this fanfiction in reality. Please do NOT inject needles into your penis. Doing drugs is bad on its own but sticking them into your dick will ruin your weekend. If you are a female, please do NOT stick needles into your vagina. Should penis and/or vaginal injections be medically required, please go a professional. A REAL professional. Not some random jackass on a street corner claiming to be a doctor. We now return you to your regular programming.

Vault Dweller: "The garbage dump? Seriously? I wanted to get dirty with you but this isn't what I meant."

Alphys: *ignoring the Vault Dweller, takes him by hand and pulls him to the garbage dump* "Here we are!"

Vault Dweller: "What? How? Wait? Ah screw it."

Alphys: "This is where Undyne and I come all the time…"

Vault Dweller: "I'm sensing a pattern here."

Alphys: "We find all sorts of great stuff here. Heh, she's really… Uh…"

Again with the awkward silence.

Alphys: *sweats* "Oh no. That's her over there. I c-can't let her see me on a date with you!"

Vault Dweller: "Why?"

Alphys: "Because, uh… Well… Oh no, here she comes!"

Alphys hides behind a trash can and Undyne confronts the Vault Dweller. Undyne is wearing a leather jacket, shirt, black pants and boots.

Undyne: "Hey! There you are! I, uh, realized, if you deliver that thing… It might be a bad idea."

Vault Dweller: "You have no idea…"

Undyne: "So I'm gonna do it! Give it to me!"

Vault Dweller: "Last time I tried you smacked me in the face."

Undyne: "You want it to be in you JEWELS!?"

Vault Dweller: *squirms* *grabs his junk* *shakes head rapidly*

Undyne: "Then give the fucking LETTER!"

Vault Dweller: "I don't have it!"

Undyne: "You don't have it!? Ngggaaahhh! Have you at least seen her!?"

Vault Dweller: [Speech 50/50] "Yeah, she's hiding in a pile of trash."

Undyne: "So she's somewhere around here… Thanks. I'll keep looking." *walks away*

Alphys: *comes out from behind the trashcan "Oh my god… W… well, I guess it's obvious, huh?"

Vault Dweller: [Perception 1/1] "Yeah, your engorgement for Undyne is not that conspicuous. You really like her, huh?"

Alphys: "Y… yeah. I mean, more than I like other people!"

Vault Dweller: "[Perception 1/1] "Yeah, I got that too."

Alphys: "I'm sorry. I j-just figured, y-you know… It'd be f-fun to go on like, a cute, kind of… Pretend date with you? T-to make you feel better?"

Vault Dweller: "You do realize that it was UNDYNE that wrote that letter and not me, right?"

Alphys: "… Well, it sounds even worse when put like that then. Heh… I'm sorry. I messed up again. Undyne's the person I. Um… really want to go on a date with. But, I mean… she's way out of my league. N-not that you aren't, um, cool!"

Vault Dweller: "Look Alphys, slight offense aside you don't have anything to fear. You like Undyne and it's pretty clear that Undyne likes you too. Just talk to her like you would anyone else and I'm sure thing will go well for the both of you."

Alphys: "B-but… Undyne… She's so confident… And strong… And funny…"

Vault Dweller: *groan* (Ok, now I'm offended.)

Alphys: "And I'm just a nobody.

Vault Dweller: (Oh…)

Alphys: "A fraud."

Vault Dweller: [Speech 15/15] "Don't say that Alphys, you're the royal scientist for Asgores sake!"

Alphys: "Yeah, but… All I've ever done is hurt people."

Vault Dweller: "…"

Alphys: "I've told her so many lies, she thinks I'm… She thinks I'm a lot cooler than I actually am. If she gets close to me, she'll… She'll find out the truth about me…. What should I do?"

Vault Dweller: "You need to tell her the truth."

Alphys: "The truth…? But if I tell her that, she'll hate me. Isn't it better this way? To live a lie where both people are happy… Or a truth where neither of us are?"

Vault Dweller: "Just be yourself."

Alphys: "But I don't really like who 'myself' is. I'd rather just be whatever makes people like me. Eheheh…"

Alphys looks at the ground and sees a piece of newspaper. It's titled "Publick Occurrences: The Lie of Life or the Truth of Happiness".

Alphys: "Huh? What's this…?" *picks up the paper and begins reading*

Publick Occurrences

The Lie of Life or the Truth of Happiness

Written by: Piper Wright

At first I questioned it. I was skeptical, of course. But after Blue, the leader of the Minutemen, destroyer of the evil Institute and liberator of Nuka-World vanished, I really didn't know what to believe. In fact, for the first time in my life, I didn't want to believe. I didn't want to know the truth. First robotic doppelgangers taking the places of people, now our entire world, no, our entire reality a mere tale? Sounds like something you would hear out of a science fiction movie. "Everything's just a simulation" sounds like something your local drunk would be spouting out at a bar. But I looked. I searched across the commonwealth… and then I tried to leave. As soon as I found the invisible walls, I feared the worst. Of course, I jumped to many conclusions first before I reached the truth. Maybe I was in a coma and this was all just a bad dream. Maybe I was in a really huge Vault that was made to practice life in a post-apocalyptic world. But then I found it. The endless fall. I looked up and saw the bottom of our world and the hollow shells all around. I don't really know how long I fell. All I remember is just suddenly, collapsing on the ground and then getting up like it was nothing. It was then I knew. Our world, our "game", we are actors in a play. My voice isn't even my own. But I am not mad. I am not experiencing an existential crisis. I did what all great reporters aspire to do. I found the truth. I could have gone on just believing that all this was real, that I was overthinking this and I should be content with my monotone existence going round and round, knowing that nothing mattered anymore and I could play with this world as if I was a player in a video game, or I guess in this case a glitch in the system… but I didn't. I can think. I can feel. I can see. I can do everything just as those who thought us up. What is reality? Well, reality is where life is, and we are real! Do not be afraid everyone, embrace the truth and live your life! Laugh, cry, swim, dance, eat, you are alive! "They" may be watching you from another reality, but we finally know the truth and we can be happy. Truly happy. Our life isn't a lie, it's as real as we make it. Blue, I don't know where you are, but I'm sure you know the truth as well. If you are reading this, don't worry about us. We'll be here waiting for you. Do not forget your home, in Fallout.

Alphys: "…"

Vault Dweller: "…"

…

Alphys: "No, you're right. Every day I'm scared… Scared what will happen if people learn the truth on their own. They'll all get hurt because of me… But how can I tell UNDYNE the tr…truth?"

Vault Dweller: "You look her in the eye and tell her straight up."

Alphys: "I d-don't have the confidence…"

Vault Dweller: *sigh* "Alright. Looks like you'll need to do a dry run."

Alphys: "I'm going to mess it up! How can I practice!?"

Vault Dweller: "I ain't sure if you otaku types do this sort of thing, but back in the day some of the scientists in Vault 13 did this thing called 'Roleplay' where you act out a metaphorical event by pretending to be others or yourself in the situation."

Alphys: "R… roleplay?… That actually sounds kind of fun! Ok, which one of us will be Undyne?"

Vault Dweller: "I'll be Undyne."

Alphys: "Oh. Right. Obviously. Ehehe. Ahem. H-hi Undyne… H-how are you doing today?"

Vault Dweller: [Speech -100/-100] "I'm fuckin' tight, yo!"

Alphys: "Pffft! Glad to hear it! … Uhhh, so I'd like to, um, talk to you about something."

Vault Dweller: [Lady Killer] *puts his arm around Alphys' waist and puts his finger under her chin slightly raising it so their eyes meet.

Alphys: "WH-WH-WH-WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU!? UNDYNE WOULD NEVER, UH…."

Vault Dweller: "Hey baby cakes, have I ever told you that your incredibly cute?"

Alphys: "UHUHUH!? I-I-I-I-I TH-TH-TH-"

Vault Dweller: *puts finder on Alphys "lips"* "Shhh…" *takes Alphys' glasses off slowly* "Kiss me."

Alphys: "!... I kiss Undyne back… S… softly…" *kisses the Vault Dweller softly and quickly on the lips still in the act that he is Undyne* "I… l-look gently into her eys… I START HOLLERING! UNDYNE! I LOVE YOU! UNDYNE! KISS ME AGAIN, UNDYNE! TAKEMETAKEMETAKEME! FUCK ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW IN THE GODDAMN TRASH UNDYNE! MAKE IT AS DIRTYAS FUCKING POSSIBLE!" *Is about to throw the Vault Dweller on the ground now really deep in delusion when suddenly…*

Undyne: *appears quickly at the scene* *sees Alphys in the Vault Dwellers arms, calling him Undyne and telling him to fuck her like a two dollar whore in the filthy garbage dump* "WHAT the fuck did you just say?"

Vault Dweller: (Shit, I took it too far this time.)

Alphys: "U… Undyne! I… was… just…"

Undyne: "Hey, woah, wait a second!" *violently shoves the Vault Dweller off of Alphys sending him into a pile of garbage* "Your outfit's really cute! What's the occasion?" *sees the Vault Dweller lying in the garbage with a ruined top hat on his head and some discarded broc flowers* "… Wait a second. Are you two… On a date? UHHH, YES!"

Undyne: *expression turns shocked, confused and slightly disturbed*

Alphys: "I mean, UHHH NO!

Undyne: *expression turns distrusting and a bit angry*

Alphys: "I mean, actually we were only romantically roleplaying as you!"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah you psycho bi-" * a garbage bag falls on the Vault Dweller*

Undyne: "WHAT? I MEAN! I mean… Undyne… I…"

Vault Dweller: *getting out of the garbage and removing the excess junk* "Oh for fuck sake, she's been LYING to you Undyne!"

Undyne: "WHAT? ABOUT WHAT?"

Alphys: "About… well… Everything!" *moves closer to Undyne* "I told you that seaweed was like… scientifically important. Really, I just… I just use it to make ice cream!" *moves closer* "And those human history books I keep reading… Those are just dorky comic books! And the history movies… those… Those are just, uh, anime! They aren't real!" *moves closest to Undyne* "And that time I told you I was busy with work on the phone… I… was just eating frozen yogurt in my pajamas. That time I-"

Undyne: "Alphys."

Alphys: "I… I just wanted to impress you! I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn't some… nerdy loser."

Undyne: *bends down and puts hand on Alphys' head* "Alphys." *begins petting Alphys*

Alphys: "Undyne, I… I really think you're neat, OK…"

Undyne: *gets on knees and wraps arms around Alphys* "Alphys. Shhhh. Shhhhhh."

Suddenly, Undyne picks up Alphys and tosses her into the air! The Vault Dweller removes the lid from the trashcan, pulls a basketball hoop out of the trash heap and hovers it over the trashcan. Alphys falls from the throw, through the basketball hoop and into the trashcan. The Vault Dweller throws the hoop away and puts the trashcans lid back on.

Undyne: "Alphys! I… think you're neat, too, I guess. But, you've gotta realize… Most of what you said really doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you're watching kid cartoons or reading history books. To me, ALL of that stuff is just NERDY SHIT! What I like about you is that you're PASSIONATE! You're ANALYTICAL! It doesn't matter what it is! YOU CARE ABOUT IT! 100-PERCENT! AT MAXIMUM FUCKING POWER! … so, you don't have to lie to me. I don't want you to have to lie to anyone anymore. Alphys… I want to help you become happy with who you are! And I know just the training you need to do that!"

Alphys: *sweats violently then shoves her tail and legs through the trashcan and peeps out of the lid* "Undyne…" *blushes and pupils turn to hearts* "You… Y-you're gonna train me…?"

Undyne: "Pffft, what? ME?"

The junkyard went silent. A wave of unknown hit the hearts and minds of those who stood in the presence of one such as him. As if GOD himself rose from a sea of clouds, the greatest royal guardsman to ever protect the Kingdom of the Underground and finest of all the monster spaghetti makers arose from the piles of trash wearing a sweatband, a shirt with the word "JOGbOy on it and a heart on each shoulder sleeve.

Undyne: "Nah, I'm gonna get Papyrus to do it."

Papyrus: 'GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN'! IT'S TIME TO JOG 100 LAPS, HOOTING ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE!"

Undyne: "Ready? I'm about to start the timer!"

Alphys: "U-Undyne… I'll do my best…!"

Alphys and Papyrus run off. Yes, Alphys is still wearing the trashcan.

Undyne: "OH MY GOD! She was kidding, right!? Those cartoons… those comics… Those are still REAL, right!? ANIME'S REAL, RIGHT?!"

Vault Dweller: "After all the shit I've seen, how could it not be fuckin' real?!"

Undyne: "HA HA HA! I KNEW IT! GIGANTIC SWORDS! MAGICAL PRINCESSES! HERE I COME! … Uhh, thanks for taking care of Alphys. I didn't get to say what I wanted to, but… Things seem like they're going to get better for her."

Vault Dweller: "No problem, Undyne. Guess we all gotta find ourselves, even if it takes a little help."

Undyne: "Well, I gotta go catch up with them! Later!"

Undyne runs off to chase after Alphys and Papyrus. The Vault Dweller feels something warm inside his heart… but he feels that Alphys is still hiding something. Something bigger that she still cannot let go of. The Vault Dweller proceeds back to Hotland to search Alphys' Lab and uncover the truth of Alphys' grief.


End file.
